BAD BOY ABUSED (male pov)

#75 You're not ready for this Liam.

My trembling body followed hers through the hallway of her house with a trail of red rose petals guiding our way. They led directly to her bedroom and laying central to her bed was a heart, the boys did good. 

"What's this?" She asked, blinking at me with intense eyes that could read my mind.

Don't chicken out Liam.

My heart thundered loud and my mouth ran dry as the anxiety climbed high enough to choke me.

"I think" I started, taking a pause and trying to straight out the pathetic tone of my voice.

"ugh" I rubbed away the nerves that pricked my spine at the back of my neck.

"I'm ... ready." I choked out. 

Just saying the words was harder than I thought.

You're not ready for this Liam. 

But I want this.

Olivia's eyes softened sympathetically and she tilted her head to one side. Not the reaction I hoped for. She walked over to me and placed her hands in mine, offering my the smallest amount of comfort. 

"Liam, we don't have to do this. I'm fine with waiting. There's no pressure, no rush." I believed her wholeheartedly and I hesitated over her words for a nano second but the truth was I had let my past hold me back from something great long enough. It had controlled me and I wasn't going to allow that any longer. 

You're ready for this Liam.

"I want to do this Liv. There is no one I'm going to trust myself with more than you. I'm always going to be scared whether we do it today, tomorrow or in ten years. I'm ready." Fear swirled against my insides making myself aware of everything that had happened. Making me feel completely vulnerable and naked but I wasn't listening to it any longer. I wanted to be vulnerable with her. 

"Are you sure?" She whispered one last time.

It's going to be okay.

You can do this Liam.

It's all you've ever wanted. 

She's your saviour.

You are safe.

I nodded my head, not feeling brave enough to commit to using actual words.

"Are you sure?" I asked her though a broken voice. 

"Yes." She said with ease.

I stepped forward and leaned in to claim her lips as my own, clashing our tongues in a motion that could only offer me comfort and settle my insides with her overwhelming sense of care and safety. The love I felt pouring out of me and into her in one passionate embrace was strong enough to demolish all of my walls and leave my lying out fully exposed. 

I pulled back and ran my thumb across her soft plump of her lips. "Kissing you is easy. It didn't used to be." I admitted, remembering how confusing it was for me to enjoy her kiss, her touch when I've always coiled over at other peoples. "This will be okay, won't it?" I searched her beautiful green eyes that reflected all of her desire like two sparkling emeralds but I knew the answers I craved were ones she couldn't provide.

"I don't know." She admitted. 

I took a deep breath and leaned in to kiss her neck, I felt her quiver beneath my touch as my lips carefully dusted a trail of soft kisses from behind her ear to her collar bones. She grabbed my arms to steady herself and I momentarily froze, caught off guard by her grasp.