He Saved Me

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My anxiety and depression has been up the wall since I was 13, I'm 20 now. Anxiety attacks in public places would happen rather frequently and my depression haunted me while I slept pretty much every night. My parents never believed me and used to say that I was an attention seeker, even when I inflicted self harm on myself and they find out. I started to give up on life and started drinking. The alcohol numbed me, it may have been temporary, but it worked. I would stay hours at a time in a bar, I would buy bottles of wine, vodka and cider every evening and drink until I passed out. Eventually, the numbness started to fade and drinking only made it worse but I couldn't stop. I'd grown into an alcoholic rather quickly and I didn't want to go into rehab, no matter who told me to. I stopped hanging out with my friends, I didn't speak to any of my family besides my older brother, Jason, who actually understood me. He didn't live with us, he moved out when he was 19, but he called me almost daily to catch up with me, considering we grew up together with a three year difference. He would never stop suggesting places of therapy and rehab, just trying to help me, but I'd snap rather quickly. He was always patient and understanding as to why I didn't want anything to do with "recovery," so instead, he decided to come to my parents' house, pack all my stuff and told me to come and live with him in London. He wouldn't stop me from going to the bars but he gave me a time limit and if I went against it, he would come and find me. "I swear, I will drive all night to look for you if you don't get home by 1am at the latest" I quote. He didn't lie. He did come and look for me one night when I stayed out until around 2. He burst through the bar doors and dragged me out and shoved me in his car to drive me home. He kept this promise for the whole time I lived with him... at least, until I met Dom.

It was around 10:30pm and I wasn't really drunk. I was still conscious and I was completely aware of my surroundings. My depression hit me hard that night and after years of drinking while being depressed, it sort of turned me into a heavy-weight drinker, meaning I could have a lot of alcohol in my system and only be tipsy. I was at the bar, drinking glasses and pints after others. I was crying, I was losing my breath a lot and eventually I started contemplating suicide. I started to mutter to myself, making myself feel worse.

"What's the point anymore?" I started, my head resting on my right hand, "It's not like anyone actually cares about me. I'm just an ugly, fat, attention seeking whore who can't get her life together to make her fucking brother feel any better!" I started to raise my voice to myself, but not too loud so people couldn't really hear me.

"Maybe I should just leave. Leave and never come back. There's no use for me here, all I ever do is make people worry about me..." I continued to degrade myself before a guy around my brother's age came up and sat on my right, ordering a drink. He wasn't a familiar face which made me slightly nervous. I turned my face away to wipe away my tears. When I moved my head back to where it was previously, this man was staring in my direction with a small concerned look on his face. I took in his handsome features. His soft-looking lips, which were covered with slightly smeared red lipstick, his green eyes which were smothered in black eyeliner and eyeshadow and of course, his messy-styled brunette hair. He was VERY handsome, even with the make up on his face and his hair all over the place.

"Hey, I-I don't mean to intrude or interrupt, but I just wanna say that I heard you when I walked in and I just wanna say that you're far from, fat and ugly and I'm sure as hell that you're not an attention seeker. You look like the kind of person who's been through a lot" His British accent sang into my ears like angels in the light. I looked into his gorgeous eyes as I could feel my eyes burning up again. A tear fell from my eyes soon after. I turned my face away and apologised, only for it to be lightly grabbed by this man's index finger and brought back to face him once more.

"There's nothing to apologise for, my love. I know this is bound to sound really, like, weird and all but I'm here for you" I shook my head slightly and pulled away from his finger that was holding up my chin, moving my eyes to the side.

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