I Never Planned You

Chapter 10- Coffee & Some Music

It's beginning to get windy out, and I can't help but run most of the way. It was a bad idea for cut off shorts and a tank. I should of known better in such a bipolar state, Indiana. I just bare through the wind until reaching the coffee shop. I drink about three cups and notice there's a music store next door. I really don't want take the long walk home, just yet, and I've never been in a music store; and since I'm by myself, why not?

I open the door and a blast of warmth hits my skin. I have immediate goosebumps. It's so toasty, I'm starting to feel my legs again. That's the bad part about being so skinny, I'm always freezing.
I make my way down the main isle, amazed by all the CDs, records, posters, and different artist's signatures.

"Well, I never thought I'd see you here."

Mhm. Of course...of course he's here. I turn on the heel of my foot

"Yep, well you thought wrong. " I turn to look at him, moving away in the opposite direction.

"Clearly." He grins.

"Do youever buy clothes, James?"

"Yes, I do. I just like stained, torn and beaten things." He raises his eyebrow. Like it's suppose to be cute or something.

"Whatever" I shrug.

"You like The script?"

"The what??" I add,

"The script."

"Nope." I reply.

"Three Days Grace?"

"You're clearly calling for more than three days-" I roll my eyes, making myself busy by flipping through albums.

"Okay." He stops my hands.

His hand is now laying on top of mine. It's warm and soft. But not too soft, it's still strong. I don't want to look up at him or stare in any way so I decide to just not look or say anything. But of course him being James , he lifts my chin. For a moment I'm positive he'll say something. But he just opens and closes.

"What..???" I say when I realize he hasn't stopped staring at me.

"You know, you don't have to be so mean." He adds.

"Excuse me but-"

"Sh" He raises his finger to my lip.

"You don't need an answer for everything." He looks into my eyes.

I turn away.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He remarks.

"Yeah. Well I've been uncomfortable since I raised my leg over your stupid motorcycle-" I smart off.

"Oh." He adds but that's all he says. He begins walking away, but my stupid self had to have the last word.

"But it's probably because my jeans were up my butt."

"Right." He turns his head with a big grin.

" I know you probably don't want to talk about Nicolas, but-" He begans to add.

"You're right, I don't-" I cut him off.

When he's out of sight, I decide I've had enough adventure for one day. I began to make my way home. When I finally arrived I start for my room. Little did I know when I'd pass the living room, Nicolas would be sitting on the couch.

"Hey)-" He starts, startling me.

"Oh my gosh. You-you scared me." I jump, laying my hand on my chest.

"Sorry, didn't mean to."

"It's okay-" I reply as he motions me to sit down next to him.

"Look-" He says after a moment, grabbing my hand in his.

"I know something's going on. You're different, and I feel like these past couple days have been....."

"No. I'm the same girl." I interrupt.

"Right. Well I didn't come here to fight with you. Whether or not you want to tell what's going on, is up to you. "

"Nicolas-"

"Yeah?" He askes leaning in closer.

"I love you a lot."

"I love you too-" He states.

"Mhm, but I don't know what to do now."

"Whoa." Nicolas looks puzzledly.

"What?" I ask.

"You just said you don't know what to do? You've always known what to do. That's why I came over, because I was trying to find out if we really broke up or not." He says shockingly.

"Well I -"

"I guess so" He says.

"I just need some time." I state.

"Oh, oh okay." He says looking down at the floor.

"Yeah-"

"Well, I hope you don't take too long. College is soon."

"I know." I bite my lip.

Once he leaves I head to my room and turn on Grease. My parents never liked this movie and think of it as highly inappropriate, but I've always loved watching it.
By the end of the movie I'm bawling my eyes out. I guess I just want that kind of determined, undeniable, sing-able love.
But it's Hollywood, and no one gets that happy ending. I mean, I have to face it, I don't love Nicolas like that, and I don't think I ever will. I'm only being snappy and mean to James, because he makes me feel something outside of my strictly planned out life. I should of told Nicolas what's what, and that breaking up can't be squeezed into our perfect fairytale. But I find myself thinking outside my planner now, and honestly I'm just not use to that, this, none of it; and I want more then anything to know what I want.