Just another Frerard vampire story...

Soulmates?

Tossing, turning, crying, shaking, yet still he doesn't even stir. I guess his brain is clear of all worring thoughts. He will finally be rid if my crying, screaming, fighting, messing up his life.

I guess he's worked out that I'm a complete worthless loser, not a mate of any good standard. Especially him. He's so beautiful, perfect, special. I'm just me.

As I lay here, the room dark. The curtains slowly waving in the slight breeze that is coming through the open windows. It's the first time Gerard's let the windows open freely, obviously not worried about me leaving.

The tables have flipped. A week ago I was clawing at the walls to escape this place, to escape him. I would given anything to escape. Now I want to stay here but when dawn breaks out I go. Gerard doesn't want me.

And the best part is, I'm laying here trying to convince myself it's because of Bert, that I want to stay to protect myself yet I know that's all a lie. I want to stay because of the vampire that's twisted my heart, that's saved me, that's made me feel love.

I want to stay in his grip yet he wants me away. He's wasted 2 centuries on me, he probably doesn't want to waste another second. I don't fucking blame him.

So what will happen tomorrow? Will I die? Live? Who cares?! I have no girlfriend, job, friends, future. I just hope if this vampire kills me he does it quickly. And preferably not too painful. All these thoughts make me feel sick yet I stay still, watching his bare pale chest rise and fall. It's the last time I will be able to watch him like this.

Black hair falling messily over his feminine features that are facing my way. Eyes closed peacefully, mouth slightly open, small noise pointed up. He's perfect. The long neck that connects to a perfect pair of shoulder blades that poke up from his skin. But it's what's underneath the beauty that I need.

His heart. It may be dark in colour but it's the brightest and warmest I have ever seen. The way he protected me, cared for me, ignored my stupid incompetence. He's loved me more than any mortal has.

No one can tell me he is a monster when it's his warm heart that fights away my monsters. Once he's gone, they will destroy me. That heart that is steadily beating in his bare chest seems to beat to the exact rhythm of mine. Like it's part of me. And I've just realised it is.

He is part of me, I place my hand softly against the beat. My body lives in the rhythm of his. Without him I will die. I wouldn't want to live without him anyway.

Because I love him.

With all my beating heart. I swear to you Gerard that you have changed my whole world and for this I both hate you and love you to the end of the earth. I remove my hand and I feel cold. I'm meant to be with you. Because we are soulmates, we've been soulmates for 2 centuries and will be forever. Even if Gerard does kick me out I will always belong to him.

I don't care how many Emily's come along, there will never be Gerard. They will never be as artist as he is, or as beautiful as he is, or as loving, or as Gerard as Gerard. You sir have helped me realise who I am, you knew before I did. I just pray when you wake up you feel the same as I do. After all 'we are not mates.' But we are! Please! Trust me!

I want to touch you, feel you, kiss you until the end of everything. I want to spend the rest of my life realising more about who I am, but with you. As you are me, without you I'm nothing. I was what I was before all of this: nothing. I just didn't know it.

I lean to your face, tracing every detail with my eyes, knowing I can't touch. The dark room making your face even more pale than before. Cheekbones standing out in a dark colour.

'I love you.' There is no reply. I single tear runs down my face as I pull away. Until tomorrow my lover.