Everything He Wants

Chapter 9

Kian's POV

I jumped in my bed and opened my eyes. Another stupid nightmare. I can't fall asleep again when I have these. But even if I consulted with the psychiatrist, my nightmares can't go away.

I gave up trying to fall asleep again and got up from my bed. It was 5 a.m. and the sun was rising already. I went inside the bathroom and took a long shower.

After I finished, I brushed my teeth and got dressed in plain jeans and a white T-shirt. I wasn't planning to go to the office today, only if it was an emergency. I was supposed to go with my princess to choose a cake for the wedding and dishes for the reception.

I told her that I'll pick her up at 9 a.m. I already arranged an appointment with the restaurant that will make us food for guests and after that we are going to a famous cake shop. I only wanted the best for my princess.

I made fried eggs and bacon for myself and sat on the barstool. My mind drifted off to that guy Mark. He claimed to be her best friend, but I'm insecure. First time in my life I'm insecure about something.

What if Valeriana leaves me for some other man? What if she thinks I'm not good enough for her and leaves me? I'm scared to know that I'll never be good enough for her.

She is just so perfect. I feel worthless around her. But I want to give her everything because she deserves everything. I messed up a lot when I kept a secret about our marriage.

I was just scared to lose her. I love that girl more than I loved anything in my life. She reminds me of my mother. My mother was a gentle and kind woman. I could never forget her smile that she kept until her last breath.

I miss my family. But I can't have them back. That's why Valeriana means a lot to me. She is my new family. Maybe she doesn't understand that yet. I just can't have her leave me.

I looked at the clock to see it's already 8. I didn't know what to do anymore. I got up and took my jacket, wallet, and keys. I locked my house and went to my car. I decided to visit my mom's grave.

I missed her. I arrived at the cemetery and parked near the entrance. I was soon standing in front of her grave.
''Hello, mamma! I missed you so I came to visit you. I had the nightmare again, but it's fine because I got used. I have them for 20 years now so it's fine.'' I sighed. The heaviness was building up in my chest.

''Anyway, how have you been? I'll bring you fresh flowers next time and I'll clean your gravestone too so don't worry. And I'll do it for that bastard next to you.'' I looked at the gravestone of my father.

''I always tell you that he doesn't deserve to be next to you, but you always insisted to bury your husband next to you. I don't know if you forgave him, but it's still hard for me to do it. And I'm sorry if I disappointed you.''

I turned to look at the gravestone of my father. I despise this man. He ruined my mom and he ruined my childhood. He is at fault for everything.

''I don't hate you as a father, because I can't. But If**king hates you as a person. You evil bastard. It's your fault for my mom's death. If it wasn't for you, I would still be with my mamma. You f**king took her from me. I hope you burn in hell for your wrongdoings.'' I cursed him.

I wiped my tears and got up. My princess must be waiting for me. I got out of the cemetery and entered my car. I drove off to my princess's house. I can't wait to see her.

I was quick to come and parked in their driveway like usual. I got out of my car and waited for her. She probably heard the sound of a car, because I saw her coming out of the house.

She was wearing jeans matched with a white shirt. She looked adorable. I forced a smile on my face when she approached me.
''Are you okay, Kian?'' She asked me. Her voice is so angelic. I want to listen to it for the whole day.

''I'm perfect, baby,'' I said and leaned down to kiss her. It feels nice that I can finally do it. It doesn't matter if she won't return my kiss. I pulled away and saw her blush, making me chuckle.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to my chest.
''I missed you, princess.'' I whispered in her hair. It felt so comforting to hold her. I only needed her.

I pulled away and opened the car door, smiling at her. She entered the car and put on a seatbelt right away. I got inside and drove off to the restaurant.
''Do you have any specific dishes you want for the reception?'' I asked her. I intended to take her hand, but she pulled it to herself. Patience, Kian.

''Not really. We can decide what they recommend.''
''That's fine too.'' I smiled. I was happy because she cooperated with me. Even if I disappointed her a lot, I will make sure everything will be perfect for her.

We arrived in front of a restaurant after a while. When we entered, there was an older man who smiled at us and showed us a table.
''Have you eaten your breakfast?'' I asked her.
''I didn't have time.''
''We can eat breakfast here.'' I said. She nodded her head before I ordered for us.

The manager of the restaurant was kind enough to consult us what's the best option for the food at the reception. I let Valeriana choose whatever she wanted because I honestly didn't care if it's perfect for her.

After she chose everything she wanted, we ate breakfast together. This was the first time we were eating a meal alone. And I couldn't be happier.
''We only need to go and choose a cake and that's it.'' I said when we finished.

I paid for the food and led her outside. We were soon coming in front of a cake shop. I was recommended for this cake shop because a lot of people rated this as the best. So I chose this one.

We entered the door where we met a young woman behind the counter. She smiled brightly at us.
''Welcome to Amor. What can I help you with?''
''We're looking for the cake for our reception.'' I explained.
''Alright. I will come with some samples. And congratulations on your wedding.''
''Thank you.'' Valeriana spoke.

We sat at the table and waited for her. The woman came back with a brochure.
''So here are the samples of the cakes. I usually recommend vanilla cake, because not everybody likes chocolate. Or you have lemon cake, strawberry cake. I can give you a taste for some of them.'' She explained.

''You can decide whatever you want, baby. I'm fine with anything.'' I said, holding her hand.
''Alright.'' She nodded.
''You will have a wonderful husband, Miss.'' The woman added. I chuckled at her words. She will be more wonderful wife. Valeriana blushed a bit at her words and focused on looking at the cakes.

In the end, she decided vanilla and strawberry cake. I, of course, agreed. And the sample tasted good. When we ordered that cake and I paid for it, we went home. It was already lunchtime when we finished.

I dropped her off and got out to properly said goodbye. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her.
''Don't hug me.'' She said and pulled away. My heart shattered to pieces once again.
''Okay, baby. Goodbye.''

I got inside the car and controlled the tears that threatened to escape. I need to learn how to be patient. She will understand one day.

Is it bad that I cried for Kian while writing this chapter?