Feathers & Fire (Hotwings)

Part 2: Can We Pretend?

Pov. Dabi
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                It was dark now, leaving the poorly cared for base covered in peaceful silence. I couldn’t sleep. Probably because of all the random things choosing now to fill up my head. I still felt Hawks’ warmth beside me and the rise and fall of his chest. I turned to the side, seeing him curled up against me, arms around my waist. His wings were tucked in, resting against his back with the occasional twitch. He must have been dreaming…
                For a second I thought I myself had fallen asleep, and this perfect image in front of me was only something my brain had manifested on its own, but I was soon cruelly overtaken by my vicious loop of thoughts. Again…
                I rubbed my tired eyes and tried wriggling out of Hawks’ grasp. He was sleeping with his arms limp, so that wasn’t too hard. I tried slipping out of bed without waking him up, to get some fresh air. I walked over towards the door closing it as quietly as possible before walking down the maze of hallways to the back alleyway.
                I walked out the large metal door, hearing the hinges squealing as it slammed shut. I walked deeper into the alley and leaned against the cold concrete while I let out a large sigh. I ran my hands over my face feeling the cold metal lick at my hands. I felt happy, I don’t think I’m used to saying that, but Shigaraki… He was almost like my brother for as long as I had been in the league. We were family, coworkers, and friends on top of all that. I wondered how long he’d had these…feelings… I wouldn’t know because he never told me or showed me any sign. I mean, looking back the only noticeable signs started showing up around the time Hawks did.
Why didn’t that bastard tell me?...
                I didn’t feel angry at all, but I felt like I should be... I told him everything about myself and he hid something like this from me and waited until I fell for someone to tell me. I do care about Shigi, just not in that way. Maybe if things were different, but I just can’t have those feelings for him right now…
            I looked out of the alley seeing the bright neon lights for the stores across the street then up at the sky. The clouds were swallowing the moon, leaving a small white haze from behind. Stars were dotting the sky randomly around them like they had been randomly thrown into the night sky.
            I came here a lot to clear my head. For some reason, the darkness helped me to forget about everything crammed in my head. It was peaceful and quiet. I closed my eyes breathing in the cool air and exhaled. Then the door screeched open slowly, revealing Shigiaraki’s hunched figure. He had on his usual long-sleeved shirt, and black pants to match. His pale blue hair was almost white from the shadows landing on him.
“I thought I’d find you here…” He stopped beside me, looking down at the dirty concrete floor.
“Well you were right,” I said trying to act normal, despite the obvious discomfort coming from both of us.
“You know, I shouldn’t have overreacted. I shouldn’t have k-kissed you…” He swallowed, almost as if he was having trouble speaking.
“You know I’ve always just gotten right to the point, so…I guess all I’m saying is that I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t mess things up with you and Hawks…” He grasped at his wrist.
            I haven’t, not once, ever gotten an apology from Shigi… It was a shock at first, but then again it wouldn’t have been the first time tonight. I looked over and saw his gaze locked on the bricks in front of him, while his nails burrowed themselves into his skin.
“Hey, calm down.” I pushed off the wall, pulling his hand off his wrist.
“It’s okay, I forgive you Shigi.”
            He looked up at me for a short moment before looking away. There was a long silence between us. I looked at the door then back to him.
“Listen, if that’s all you got to say then if you wouldn’t mind leaving me to think…” I tried not to sound too harsh.
“Dabi…” He said, finally looking me in the eye.
“Hm?” I asked, watching him take a step closer.
“I want you to know that I won’t try to ruin what you have going with that hero, but I can’t help but blame myself. It’s my own fault you hated me…That I ghosted you…That I hid the way I really felt…” He kept taking steps closer as I was taking steps back.
            Soon my back was introduced to the wall again with Shigaraki’s body close to my own.
“I wanted to go back and maybe try again, but I know that isn’t how things work. I wanted to ask you if, maybe, you could give me one night. Just once so I can lay this feeling down to rest…” His eyes still weren’t looking away from mine.
            His body was now pressed to mine, with a wandering hand pressing mine to the wall. His index finger was up, despite his tight hold on me.
“And after that, I won’t bother you two again. I will keep our relationship professional, but for now…Please, I just want to believe I had you for a short while…” His voice was softer now…
            His chest was now tight against my body and his chin was tilted up to look up at me. I saw him moving in again. I should have seen this coming… I felt bad for him, but I just can’t…
“Shigi…” I said his name flatly.

            I managed to slide my free hand onto his chest, pushing him away gently before he had the chance to kiss me again. His face was close. I saw a look in his eyes that were asking, no begging, me to submit... I felt kind of torn…I’d never seen him like this. I wanted to help him, but It just wouldn’t be right…Not when I felt the way I did for Hawks... His heart pounded in his chest when he looked up at me. That was probably the moment it broke…
“I’m so sorry…but I can’t do this to Hawks. I’d really like to help you with this, but I can’t do it in that way…” I said in a saddened tone.
“…I understand.” His head began to hang.
            His hand slid slowly off my wrist as he took a step back.
“I’m still your friend though, so you haven’t lost me entirely…” I tried to reassure him, but I’m not sure I did.
“Yeah,” He turned away, looking at me one last time over his shoulder before going back inside.
“Have a good night Dabi…” His voice was quiet now.
“…You too boss,” I responded, resting my head against the wall, and looking up at the cloudy sky.

----- ~Meanwhile~ ----
            That moon wasn’t the only thing out in the night staying hidden behind the clouds… Shigaraki had only been able to keep it together for a short while. As soon as that big metal door squealed its way closed, Shigaraki found his eyes began to sting. There were no tears. Almost like how there was a sting in his chest but no broken heart.
            Shigaraki’s pain was quickly translated to anger as his fist found the wall, causing his knuckles to scream almost as loud as the rusted hinges on that metal door. His eyes no longer stung. They had narrowed now, they hid his mind. He had first thought that this was his fault, but now he saw it wasn’t. It was Dabi and his filthy pet hero…
    But how? How would he make Dabi see that Hawks was a hero before anything else?
Shigi had thought when it came down to it, Hawks would do his job first before worrying about Dabi, and he was partially right. (not really)
You’re his leader. He will follow your command. You can make him see…you can fix him
            He assured himself that Dabi would come to him. There was a new hidden plan, one that would certainly teach Dabi a lesson.
He will come running…