twenty five

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thantophobia - (n.) the phobia of losing someone you love

after awhile, Sarah and I were so full of boredom that I even considered taking her to the chateau before John B texted

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after awhile, Sarah and I were so full of boredom that I even considered taking her to the chateau before John B texted. before I could come to that decision however, a familiar face walks through the door. as Topper shuts it behind him I can see the immediate look of annoyance on Sarah's face

"Hey." Topper says quietly. to prevent myself from punching him on the spot, I stand up to leave the two alone, but pause outside the doorway. "hey, how's John B? is he... is he doin' all right?"

why the hell do you care?

"like you give a shit." that's my girl. tell him how it is Sarah.

Topper starts to stumble over his words. "you realize I did not push him. he lost his balance and fell."

"don't lie."

"he fell against the rail. not my fault." with every word that left Topper's mouth, my blood was starting to boil. I knew Sarah would take care of it, but something in me just wanted him to leave.

"that is messed up." Sarah snaps, and I hear her stand up from her seat. 

"you forgot about us, like, midsummers was supposed to be our coming-out party." Topper's words come out louder now, more frustrated and honestly, maybe a little scared. scared to lose Sarah. "that was supposed to be something special right?"

"what does it matter, Topper? we're in high school. it's not like we're getting married." thank god for that. 

"I don't care if we're in high school! I love you!" oh, vomit. 

"no, you don't Topper! you love the idea of me, you love being seen with me, but you don't love me." Sarah has a point. every inch of affection I've seen Topper give Sarah was mostly in public, not as much in private.

I decide to step away and let the two argue it out, considering it probably wouldn't be over as quickly as I had hoped. their muffled voices were fading as I started to just wander the halls of the house. my excursion was quickly cut short when Topper's voice started to raise and I could hear every word.

"you're a slut! you know that? you're a slut!"

as soon as I gear up to go beat the boy's ass, I see Ward come from around the corner, fury on his face. "watch your mouth when you talk about my daughter!" I watch the events unfold before me, but I didn't expect Ward to literally wrap his hands around Topper's throat. 

I stand with Sarah while Ward kicks Topper out of the house, knowing that I will never forget what happened. 

-

Sarah and I left to meet up with John B, but I went ahead to the chateau to hopefully keep everyone calm when the two showed up. 

"Lyv, you missed all the excitement!" JJ shouts excitedly when I enter the door. as he runs up to hug me a big smile on my face, and it only gets bigger when his arms wrap around me. 

"dude, you stink." I laugh and hug him back. Kie and Pope look just as sweaty. "what happened to you all?"

Pope fist pumps the air, and says, "we found the gold."

my jaw drops, and I look at JJ and then at Kie for further explanation. "okay, we think we found the gold, okay? no proof yet." Kiara explains, rolling her eyes at Pope.

I let the three of them tell me the entire story about what happened, until John B and Sarah walked up to the house. immediate silence came over the group, so I reached over for JJ's hand to hopefully keep him calm. I have never heard my friends so quiet as John B and Sarah sat down. 

Kie is the first one to burst out, "no effing way! you brought her here? so what, she's in on this now?" I could feel the anger radiating off of her, and I was suddenly thankful that for once, JJ and Pope had nothing to add to the conversation. until John B looks over at them for help.

"look, all I care is that her cut comes out of your share." JJ states. 

"you know, I don't remember taking a vote." Kie snaps, looking around at the rest of the pogues. "this is our thing. a pogue thing."

"I gotta say, I'm just a tad uncomfortable with all of this." I shoot Pope a glare, causing him to grimace. 

"when are you not?" John B replies.

"I dunno, I rode here on the back of JJ's bike pretty comfortably."

JJ nods in agreement, and I hold back a laugh. "it's true. most relaxed I've ever seen him." 

"aw, aren't you two the cutest couple ever." I tease, shouldering JJ with a smile. he nudges me back and squeezes my hand.

but none of us could relax yet, with the conflict still heavy. "you know we were all extremely comfortable until you brought her."

"stop talking about me like I'm not here!" Sarah finally shouts, joining in on the argument. this was what myself and John B were afraid of. Kiara and Sarah going head to head. "I told you both."

I try to give Sarah a supportive smile when she address me and John B. 

"told them what exactly? that you're a liar-"

"no, that you're a shit-talking bitch." Sarah interrupts Kiara, making all of our mouths go wide. the two dumbasses next to me start placing bets on the two, causing me to elbow JJ. both the girls continue to argue, their voices raising, until John B yells at everyone to shut up.

"Kie, you are my best friend, right? and Sarah, you're... you're my... you're my girlfriend." this proclamation from John B was enough to send the rest of the pogues over the edge. I lock eyes with John B, and nod to make sure he knows I have his back.

"she's your girlfriend now?" the shock on Kiara's face is mixed with something else. either hurt, or anger, I can't tell. "what was all that talk about you were just using her for information?"

"low fucking blow, Kie." I say, furrowing my brow.

"you said that you were using me?" Sarah questions, hurt lacing her words. 

"look, love just walked in, okay?" John B is trying to stay afloat between the two girls at this point. "I didn't expect it, it just kind of happened. and I'm not gonna deny it."

"look, cut the bullshit, John B. if she's in, I'm out." part of me wants to roll my eyes at Kiara's ultimatum. how can she, as a friend, expect that from him. "I'm very interested actually, me or her?"

"both."

"oh god, John B, don't make it worse." I groan out, as JJ brings up the idea of a hail mary.

before anyone can rectify the situation, Kiara storms out of the chateau. Sarah follows soon after, and I don't blame her. "I'd like to say, you handled that beautifully." JJ says sarcastically, before looking over at me. "do you have anything to add?"

"I think it's best to leave it to John B right now." 

god help us all.

-

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