Chapter 30

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I wake up in a cold sweat, my breathing erratic, and my mouth dry. I blindly reach for my phone in the dark room, knocking my clock and water bottle to the floor in the process. My phone screen illuminates my face and my eyes take a second to focus on the images.

I need to call Y/n. I need to make sure she is okay.

I find the number for the prison in my contacts and dial the number. It takes a moment for the system to pick up, but when it does, I am greeted with an unfriendly guard.

"Florence McClure Women's Correctional Center", he answers.

"This is Spencer Reid", I say, "I need to talk to Y/n Y/l/n. It's urgent."

"I'm sorry, the inmate's phone use is up for today. You can call by tomorrow between eleven and three."

"You don't understand, this is an urgent matter and I need to speak to her now", I insist.

"I am sorry but-"

"I am on her verified list of emergency contacts and a close relative of hers just passed in a car accident. She has the right to be notified."

Lying is practically second nature at this point. I don't feel bad about it this time, though. Maybe I am selfish, maybe I have lost my innocence. Either way, I am not the same person I was when I met her but is that really such a bad thing?

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I will call her down and will connect you to her as soon as possible", the guard says before he puts me on hold.

After about five minutes of listing to the soft static on the other line, Y/n's sweet voice comes through the speakers. My breath had calmed, but getting to speak to her renewed my anxiety.

"Hello?"

"Y/n", I breathe.

"Spencer, what happened? Someone got into a car accident?", she asks worriedly.

"Oh... that's not true. I didn't know how else I would be able to get through to you", I say.

"Then what's the matter? Are you okay?"

"Not really. I had a dream where you... Leora hurt you. She hurt me too but I was okay; you weren't."

"I'm fine, Spencer, I promise. She can't hurt me in here."

"I needed to make sure. I... Don't know what I would do without you."

"Without me? You've never been with me", she chuckles.

"My team offered to help with your retrial", I tell her. "We have more evidence and there's a chance that we can get you out."

She sighs deeply. "That's what you said last time. Is it worth going through all this trouble just for me?"

"Hotch offered to defend you. Garcia and JJ have evidence in your favor and we can find enough to implicate Leora. Please don't give up hope, Y/n", I plead.

"I haven't given up hope, I am just being realistic."

"Fuck realistic! We met in a dream, Y/n. How can you explain that? Nothing about this is conventional, so why should we start pretending like it is now?"

"You have a life, Spencer. You don't need to spend all of this time trying to get a woman you barely know out of jail."

"When you get out of jail, I will take you on a nice date and tell you everything about me. We're soulmates, and I am not going to let you walk out of my life just because it takes work."

She is quiet for a moment, and we listen to each other's soft breathing over the phone. I could spend hours with this woman and talk about nothing and everything at the same time.

"When I first met you, I realized that everything I've ever wanted was right there in front of me. Moving on from you is impossible when I see flashes of you in my head. My love for you is burning red, Y/n."

"You really mean that?", she asks, voice wavering.

"I want you for worse and for better; I would wait for ever and ever. I plan to make you my wife", I say.

"Agent Hotchner said he wants to defend me?", she asks. "I'm surprised. He didn't seem to like me."

"You were a criminal", I joke. "But he wants to do the right thing, and that is helping an innocent woman out of jail. I promise he's a big teddy bear once you get to know him."

"Really?"

"He's not like that with me, but I've seen him with other people", I chuckle.

"You're cute, Spencer", she says and I can hear the smile in her voice.

"You should probably get going, right? It's been a while", I say.

"Yeah, and you pulled me away from my dinner", she laughs.

"Shh, stop laughing. You're supposed to be sad, remember? Pretend to cry or something", I hush.

"Trust me, when I hang up, these tears will be real."

I laugh softly to cover up the pain I feel in my chest. She won't be gone forever, just for a little while. Then I can hold her in my arms for as long as I want.

"Goodbye, Y/n", I whisper.

"Bye, Spencer", she says before hanging up the phone.

I sit on my bed and lean against my headboard as I decompress. I plug my phone back into its charger and shut it off before I crawl back under the covers. Not wanting to go to sleep in case I go back to that world, our world, that has been infiltrated by evil. I stare up at the ceiling and think to myself.

I wish you would come back, I wish I'd never hung up the phone like I did. I wish you knew that I'd never forget you as long as I'd live.

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