Wildest Dreams

Chapter 31

tw// mentions of drug use

It is a few days later, and the team and I are aboard the jet going to Las Vegas. Hotch was able to pull some strings to get us the week off for the trial. He isn't above bending the truth to get his way with Strauss.

"How are you doing?", Emily says as she sits down next to me. I shrug and answer wordlessly.

I am beyond nervous about the trial. I tried and failed once, and I don't think I would be able to deal with that again. My palms are sweating and the crook of my elbow itches. I try to will the feeling away, but the combination of the stress, shaking and nerves heightened my craving.

Garcia's hand reaches over the seat, a wrapped blue-raspberry lollipop held between her fingers. A small smile crosses my face as I take the candy from her and put it between my lips.

I open the file in my hand and read it for what has to be the hundredth time. I am certain that the candy is staining my mouth blue, but I'd rather look like I had blown a smurf than scratch open the scars on my arm.

"Relax, Reid. We have enough evidence and Hotch is the best of the best. We're going to get your girl home", Emily says gently.

"I think I'm more hers than she is mine", I chuckle dryly.

"You're a good guy, Spence. She'll be lucky to have you", JJ chimes in.

I smile at the women and lean my head on the headrest, shutting my eyes. Their encouragement and support helped to calm me down, and the itching underneath my skin subsides.

I don't fully go to sleep; I never do while we're on the jet. My breathing slows and my mind calms, but I would be ready to go at a second's notice if needed.

A song plays in the back of my mind, but I can't decipher the lyrics. I feel it on the tip of my tongue, but I am not able to put the sounds together in a way that makes sense.

We were built to fall apart, then fall back together.

I have definitely heard it before, but I don't remember where. It's almost like it was playing in the background of a dream that I am barely able to recall. Actually, all of this feels like a dream. Maybe one day I will wake up and it will all disappear from under me, and I'll be left wondering when I should have realized and taken control.

Don't think like that! This is all real and I am going to get the life that I have always wanted, even if it's only for a little bit.

"We should be landing in ten", Hotch says, breaking the silence and my inner monologue.

Here we go.