This isn't your everyday fanfiction. This is advanced fanfiction.

New life... new trap. (Chapter 1 pt 1)

Okay, so real quick, I just want to let you know that there is going to be some heavy use of dark humor heavily involving suicide in this story.

Of course, it is not going to be treated as a good thing, but it will be used in a comedic sense.

This is coming from someone who has attempted suicide a few times, and this fanfic may or may not be to vent my frustrations as well as entertain myself and hopefully others.

Suicide and depression in real life shouldn't be treated lightly, mind you. So DO NOT go about this fanfiction thinking this is how you should treat those two things.

And please, if you need help, contact the National Suicide Prevention hotline.

If you just want to talk to someone, I got ya.

Please give criticism if needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you fucking for real?"

Right in front of you was a familiar gate. The entrance to the hidden leaf village.

How did you get here, you might ask? Well, you killed yourself. Simple as that.

Well, okay, maybe you didn't DIRECTLY kill yourself. It was more like you were getting robbed and you actually wanted to robber to shoot you. Luckily for you, it was one of those people who weren't bluffing when they said they would kill you if you didn't comply, so you got shot directly in the head.

It was... painless.

You couldn't think straight because your brain was basically rendered useless. It wasn't what you expected if you were being honest. What would be scary to most was the most amazing experience to you... maybe because you weren't really conscious anymore.

But now you're here.

In front of a gate.

With two vaguely familiar characters.

You couldn't for the life of you remember these bastards, just that they were kinda hot, not gonna lie.

But you're not here to flirt, you're here to figure out what's going on just because you're curious and then find a way kill yourself, because as far as you could tell, there are no guns in Naruto.

Speaking of Naruto...

The fact that you are here is... what is the word.

You're just stunned, in disbelief. And not the good kind.

You just wanted to be dead. That's all. No reincarnation, no new start, just and ending to your miserable existence.

'On second thought, maybe I should just find something high enough to kill myself." You thought and turned away, only to accidentally snap a small twig in half.

The sound. Oh god, the sound.

Nothing was louder than this piece of shit stick.

To make things worse, a hand grasped your shoulder.

"Oi, kid, what are you doing here?"

"To find death." You said.

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the right answer... or was it? Well, whatever it was, it resulted in you meeting the Hecuba... no, the hokebabi... no, that's not right either.