Those days - txtzy

part 1: 七

Despite the steady stream of people, Yeji managed to weave through them as she held her icy fingers to her flushed face. Someone was calling her name, but she couldn't bear to turn around and face the embarrassment. Then the rain started to trickle down, a few drops at a time, gradually getting heavier. People scrambled for shelter, leaving Yeji as the sole person walking in the rain. Like an idiot.
But she wasn't the only person.
"Yeji!"
She finally decided to turn around, and didn't expect to collide into Yeonjun, who had anticipated that she would have continued to move forward.
"Woah," Yeonjun managed to steady them both, and they stood for a few seconds, watching the cold water drip off their noses.
Yeji brushed at her cheeks hastily, flicking off rain and tears, giving Yeonjun the best smile she could manage, wanting to give an explanation before Yeonjun tugged at her arm, "Let's get out of the rain first."  Wordlessly letting herself be led into shade, Yeji became well aware of how embarrassing this was.
When they were finally out of the heavy shower, the duo sufficiently drenched from head to toe, Yeonjun stopped and didn't say anything, waiting to let Yeji release any possible torrent of words and emotions.
"I just want to be enough. Enough for my mother, enough for someone to love me for who I am and stuff. Sounds corny and cliche, I guess, but that's what I wanted for a very long time," Yeji sniffed, frustrated at how weak she sounded.
"You are enough," Yeonjun said, so quietly that it was nearly snatched away by the cold rainy wind. A shaky smile grew on Yeji's cheeks. "Thank you for everything," Yeji whispered softly as she placed a feather-soft kiss on the taller male's cheek, "For being my friend and staying by me and making me feel almost enough. But I want to prove to myself that I am enough."
Somehow, Yeonjun couldn't bring himself to move as he watched Yeji's silhouette retreat further and further into the rain with no umbrella.
-
After that encounter, Yeonjun found it a lot harder to even catch a glimpse of the other girl. It was as if she was avoiding him. Taehyun had mentioned a few times that he had seen her, which confirmed that Yeji was in school. "Maybe she's busy," Taehyun pointed out, adding that Huang Yeji was known for her intense school schedule, where she barely got many breaks. He tried to tell himself that, but he still worried for her.
-
Yeji had spent a lot of time for herself. That night, she confronted her mother. Or maybe she was just being dramatic.

Her mother, growing frailer by the day since Yeji's outburst, was tucked into an armchair in the study room. She spent her days staring listlessly out the window, waiting for Yerin's appearance.

"M...mom?" Yeji started, cursing herself for how wobbly her voice was. The woman did not respond, her body not moving, but her eyes darted ever so slightly towards the position Yeji was in.

Yeji took a deep breath. She had to say it.

"Mom, I know things have been hard for you. I know that the hallucination of another daughter has consumed your life, but I-" Her breath caught in her throat; it wasn't just her that needed this woman, "-we need you back. Remember the times when dad would bring us out and go and play? Do you remember how much you laughed?" Now Yeji was inching closer and closer to her mother, who trembled lightly, not from fear, more from emotion.

"You have to take your pills. See a doctor. I know Yerin made you happy, but don't you remember you have other family members waiting for you?"

Her mother gave a small squeak, as timid as a mouse.

Yeji's expression softened, "You said I'll never be enough. Fine, maybe I'll never be enough for you. But I don't need your recognition to be enough. I'll be enough for myself. I appreciate your feedback."

And with that, Yeji spun and left the room, the dead weight on her shoulders a lot lighter.

-

Ryujin had been surprised when Yeji asked if she could have a sleepover at the other's house.

A brilliant grin spread across the girl's cheeks, "Sure, but just wondering, why the sudden change in heart? Every time I invite you for a sleepover, you say you're busy and stuff."
Yeji only shrugged, "I just feel like, we're best friends, but we barely talk much."

-

That sleepover was filled with hushed whispered secrets and stories, Jisu finally managing to make time and Chaeryeong getting over her flu miraculously. Ryujin seemed to have a never-ending stash of junk food and sweets, which they went through easily throughout the night.

Yeji realised how she never really opened up much about her insecurities, but now she saw that it was really dumb for her to hide it, especially when she has such a close-knit group of friends who would always be there for her.

They stayed up till they couldn't hold back yawns, Yeji falling asleep in her sleeping bag never having felt so loved.