☼
ғɪʀsᴛʙᴏʀɴʙ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟᴅᴇsᴛ ʜᴇɪʀ
ʀʏᴀɴ's ᴘᴏᴠ
୧‿︵‿︵ ✾ ︵‿︵‿୨
𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 felt in control after she left. It was my impotence and inability to get my body working that separated me from her. If I was just a little brave and had the fucking audacity to stand up against my father, my little sister wouldn't be crying–so desperately clutching onto me for warmth.
There was a rising pain that clawed at my heart, and I place my hands gently on my sister's hair, murmuring to her that I'm here. My voice mirrored the state of my heart; a crack in both.
It was never her fault, really. I know, I've been mean to her, hurting her with my words, but I can't control myself. I try to stay away from her, but I miss my sister, yet it frightens me that she'd leave again. Although I've always blamed myself for just standing there and watching her leave. I'll always blame myself.
Helen's grip on my torso tightens, a sob breaking through her pressed lips as she calls my name.
"It's okay, Sorella."I caress her hair, ignoring the pain in my heart and focusing on hers. She looks so exhausted, so broken and that broke me. I dip my head, placing a soft kiss on her temple.
"I feel–too much. I can't bear it. Please. Please take it away from me." She looks up at me, tears twinkling in her dull blue eyes, as she pleads to me to take away something that I cannot. I was helpless, just like I was back then.
"Please." She pleads, placing her shaky fingers on her heart. "Rip my heart apart for me, I don't want to feel pain, the voidness–it's killing me." Her voice cracks as she tries to explain the state of her heart, and she buries her face in the crook of my neck, hiding her tears.
Tears that never seem to end.
I held her, gently cupping her puffy face in my hands and meeting her heartbroken eyes that fight against the pain she was feeling. She was contemplating if it was worth giving life a chance. I'm familiar with that look. I call her name, and her eyes met mine. She looks so fucking miserable and I can't feel—no, I couldn't even imagine how deep her scars ran and how shattered she is.
My eyes water at the thought.
"It's okay to feel–nothingness because I'll stay by your side, as you fight your demons. I'll be watching over you, protecting you, unlike before. Unlike the past that broke you." My voice cracks, and she stares at me. I continue, "I wasn't able to protect you before. I was weak and angry. I never got to watch you grow up and become a person so lovely, so strong. Fighting your demons. To feel–it's hard when pain is constantly clawing your heart, bleeding the feelings out of it until it's stone and hard. The emptiness is somehow protecting your heart like a cloak, no matter how suffocating it is. It'll take weeks, months, or even years, to finally feel, and I'll wait together with you, even if it's forever, sister. You will always have me." I crack a soft smile, my eyes glassy with the thousand of emotions I felt, and I can see her searching my eyes, and maybe she had found it, her grip tightening around my torso. She hugs me, loud sobs slipping through her lips.
She murmurs soft thank you's through her cries, and a teardrop rolls down my eyes at her desperate yarn for warmth. She must've been cold and so alone, while I lived here, rotting away victimizing myself.
Her loud sobs faded slowly. She must've been so exhausted that she fell asleep. I chuckle, gazing at my little sister.
She looks so innocent while sleeping. I remember the first day she came home. Her appearance was so cold and closed off. It was as if the warmth and sanity inside her was gone. She seemed dangerous.
I took her cold hands in my hand, warming it. She caught a fever since she was completely drenched when she came home. I came back with a bucket of cold water and placed it on the bedside table. Placing a piece of wet cloth on her temple, and I sigh. My mind wandered off to the discussion I had with Ren and Ashton.
⋆⊶⤟ ❦ ⤠⊷⋆
"Why do I feel like Nathan didn't tell us the whole story about him and Helen?" I ask my brother, Ren, and Ashton as we made our way to the living room. Ashton agreed with me. He was deep in his thoughts.
"What are you thinking about?" Ren beat at me, asking the question. I glance at Ashton, curiously. He has never been one to give two fucks about anything and barely shows emotions. It's so hard for him to express his emotions. He's like a robot. I know he is like that after that fucked up accident and I still wonder how Ashton is sane.
"Something horrible must've happened when she was away from us," He states.
"And she's hiding it from us." I complete his sentence. He nods in agreement.
"Have you seen Helen?" Suddenly, I hear Ace questioning Ren. I turn my head around, glaring at him.
Ace is the most complicated person residing in this house. He isn't related to us in any way. After Helen and Hailie left with Mother, lots of things happened, and Ace was here to prevent all of it, because our eldest brother decided to fuck things up.
Our eldest brother was kept hidden because he was the firstborn and the eldest heir who is going to run the Italian Mafia, and it would be dangerous if people knew how he looked since he would be targeted. I don't even remember how he looks, nor do I have any memories of him.
When Father introduced us to Ace, saying he'll help our family by taking the role of our real eldest brother, we all refused at first, but all of the Mafia's were attacking us, cornering us, and we had to abandon Helen and Hailie to protect them from harm's way and accept Ace, which was quite fucked up.
He was going to get married to Helen, forced or not, it's inevitable and I fucking hate myself since I can't stop that, or else Helen would end up dead. Dangers were lurking around everywhere, and Ace will protect her. He needs her, and she will be protected.
"When will you tell her that you aren't related to her? All of this shit with you not telling her that you two aren't related is pretty disgusting and fucked up." I roll my eyes at him, and Ace just grunts."Not yet, Ryan."
"Then when? You know what your mother will do if we don't tell her. Helen can't refuse. She will be the ruler. We don't have any choice, Ace." I grit, anger, and annoyance lacing my voice.
"I'll tell her when the time is right." He ends the argument, striding up the stairs.
I stare at my sister as she slept, bitterness consuming me at my incompetence. She'll get more hurt as she walks on the blood that she spills, and I can't prevent her empty heart from becoming stone.
Sacrifices need to be made for salvation and equity, followed by fresh blood splattering everywhere. It was our fate and our fate is entwined with her, binding her to it.
⁀➷
I'd love to hear your thoughts about the story :)
𝐕𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭
ℳ𝑒𝓁 ⟿
YOU ARE READING
Dangerously In a Heartbeat
Teen Fiction"You want to die?" "I will even if don't want to. Life is there, so death exists. It's not like we can escape it." ⊶⤟ ❦ ⤠⊷ After the death of her abusers, Helen had no other choice but to return to her brother...
