Falling In Love | c.h [completed]

Chapter 11

"Layla?" My mom knocked on my door. "Come in" I announced. And she did.

"How are you feeling?" She asked as soon as she shut the door behind her. "Better" I nod slowly then look down at my lap.

"Are you ready?" She asks. I nod my head again.

She nods her head and takes my hand in hers. "Your going to get through this" she whispers before she kisses the top of my head.

A tear strolls down my cheek. "I'm scared mom" I sniffle. "I know. I am too. But it's okay to be scared" she gave me a warning smile, as if assuring me everything will be okay. But I know everything won't be okay.

"I know I'm going to die" I say after a long moment of silence. "You won't" he whispered. "I will!" I yell, regretting it the second after I said it. "Sorry" I mumble.

"It's okay. Your angry. I get it" she does that usual soothing stroke on my hand and that warming smile. She does this everyday to some of her patients. She's a therapist.

So it doesn't help to know she's a therapist and she does this everyday, when half the time she doesn't give a crap about other people's lives.

"Let's go, sweetie. It'll be done before you know it" she smiled brightly and got up, helping me up as well. I didn't respond to her. I just got up and walked out the door with her.

I left my phone behind, knowing I won't need it.

My mom helped me with my jacket and shoes, because I still have a cast on.

She opened the car door for me. I smiled in return and got in. She jogged to the other side of the car and started the engine.

It's been a week since I've been out of the hospital. I haven't seen any of my friends, which include Ellie, Luke and even Calum.

I'm not going to lie, I was hurt when he didn't come to visit me.

I'm on my usual monthly visit to a different hospital. Doing my usual routine. Chemotherapy.

It sucks to constantly getting it every once a month, but what sucks the most is knowing I'm going to die.

They told me I have a 47% of not dying, and I know I will die.

My mom has this fantasy that I will be cancer free one day, but she's just being like any other mother. She's scared and tries to make excuses to think positive.

But my dad on the other hand, faces reality. He knows I will die and he doesn't hide the fact.

"We're almost there" she said quietly. I glanced over, then looked back to the road.

The snow is falling gently on the road, trees, and the ground. The sun isn't up but it's still light outside. There's no leaves on the trees in the middle of January.

The snow looks so soft. It's not rough and bumpy like my life. I wish I could be like snow, gentle and life goes easy on the ground.

We soon park in the usual parking lot. My mom gets out and jogs over to me, opening my door.

I smile like before and walk behind her to the entrance and into the lobby. "Hi, we're here for our monthly chemo treatment" she smiles to the lady.

I look at my mom and I notice something about her that I've never noticed. Fear. She is usually so confident and brave about my appointments.

Her eyes are watering, but no tears are coming out. Her eyes are so glassy, I could see myself looking into her eyes.

She looks back at me and smiles, a tear finally comes down. As the lady speaks to my mom, she looks back to the lady.

I don't pay attention to the lady speak, probably to me. I just pay my full attention to my mom and her fear.

The last thing I want for my mom is to worry about me. Of course she would, she's a mom, but I still don't like it when people worry about me.

They can care, but not worry. It makes me feel like I'm weak. And I'm not weak. I try my best to be brave, or at least I try my best to act brave.

My mom snaps me out of my thoughts by pulling at my hand. "You ready?" She asks me, with the same tearful eyes.

I nod, I'm speechless. I feel like if I speak another word, I'll start crying.

She smiles and walks with me to the usual doctor. "Hello Dr. Edward" she smiles up at him, he's a lot taller than my mom and I.

"Hello" he smiled back down at her. "Are you ready, Layla?"

I nod. "Okay then. Let's go" he said and walked out the door, not even waiting for my mom and I.

I was last, my mom was in front of me. I kept my head down.

But when I looked up, I wish I hadn't. I saw through the door windows of some rooms, seeing little kids with cancer. Their hair shaved off, some praying, some crying. It was horrible to see this. And looking back at the memories as I was there once.

I just want to tell the kids that it'll be okay some day. But not all miracles can happen. Maybe for some people, but not for all.

It was painful to watch, but I couldn't let my eyes drift off to somewhere else. Then we walked through the older kids rooms.

It was a long hallway filled with cancer patients, teenagers. 13 up to my age.

I looked through them. When we got to the last room, I stopped. "Mom. Wait" I whispered, knowing she probably couldn't hear me. But she did.

I looked at her, then back at the room.

I regret stopping, but I need some answers as to why he is in the hospital. Why? Why now? Why ever? This is the last thing I need to know now.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask from the door. He lifts his head up and his eyes widen.

"Layla" he says quietly. "What are you doing here?" He asks, standing up. His mother, I'm guessing stands up with him. "I asked you first" I stammered.

"Cancer. I have lung cancer Layla" he closed his eyes and sat back down. I nodded my head. I didn't ask him why he didn't tell me before because I'm in the same situation as him.

"What are you doing here?" He lifts his head up. "Cancer. I have cancer Calum" I say quietly, but enough for him to hear me. His eyes widen and they get glassy like my moms eyes were before.

"Great. Now we're both cancer patients" he says. I nod, then I leave with tears in my eyes.

He knows and I know.

"Did he tell you?" My mom asks. "Did you know?" I ask.

She hesitates for a second then answers me. "Yes" she says calmly. "You knew and you didn't tell me" I sniffle.

"He told me last week" she tells me like that's a good defense.

"So what? You could have told me that he had cancer!" I yell. "I'm sorry" she says.

I stare at her for a couple of seconds before turning to the doctor and following him to the room. My mom doesn't follow.

He helps me get the needle in my arm and he leaves.

I'm alone now in another white room, on a blue chair with a needle in me and my thoughts.