Mental Health x Criminal Minds

ED- E.P

You were watching tv in your bedroom when the front door to your apartment closed. You had given Emily a key to your place after a few months into your relationship.

Emily walked in with a huge sigh as she dropped everything in her hands on the floor. She made her way to your room and when she saw you wrapped in a blanket in bed a smile took over her face. She immediately took her shoes off and joined you in bed. She moved to lay on your chest.

"Hey there darling." You whispered with a small giggle at her need to be close to you. She hummed in reply and hugged your body. You hoped she hadn't noticed how much weight you lost.

It all seemed so simple at first. You could have all the sweet food you craved so long as you vomited it all back afterwards. Between those binges you would eat less calories than a malnourished infant would consume. Then in the course of an hour you would gorge on thousands of calories. You kept an image of your favorite supermodel in your head, she would be thinner.

Eat what you want and then throw up, didn't the Roman's do that to keep feasting? Now it was all that dominated your thoughts.

But in reality your body was weak, abused and suffering. Your family, your team, would sometimes drop subtle hints that you should eat a bit more. You would always brush it off because by now you were trapped in a cycle that had you spiralling downwards; starve, binge, vomit, starve, binge vomit. Now this "clever idea" of yours dominated your life, deprived you of the nutrition you needed and left you embattled, mentally scarred and unable to think clearly.

After a couple minutes of laying there, you absent-mindedly twirling her hair, your stomach growled. It was about the time you would binge. You hoped it went unnoticed but Emily heard.

"When did you last eat?" She mumbled. When you didn't answer she lifted her head and looked at you. "Oh honey.."

You kept looking forward and swallowed the large lump in your throat. You hoped your tracing of small circles on her hip would stop her from getting up.

It didn't.

"Em I'm not hungry, I promise." You spat out. She ignored you and continued to the kitchen. You debated whether or not you should leave but she came back before you could make any final decision.

"Come here." She sat at the edge of the bed and patted the space in front of her.

When you didn't comply she grabbed your arm and lightly tugged it. "Please?" You saw the concern in her eyes and you couldn't say no.

You constantly compared your body to other women's bodies. When you were with Emily you felt like she deserved better. I mean look at her. She had the body and confidence you would kill for.

You hated the way you looked in the mirror despite the multiple compliments a day on your appearance you received from her.

She noticed how slim you were getting and it hurt her. You were perfect why hurt yourself? She wanted you to know you didn't have to change yourself because she fell in love with you.

In this moment, she knew how she could distract you and get you to eat again. She wanted you to remember how good it was to eat and how delicious food tasted.

She sat in the middle of the bed and held a bag of chips in her lap. They were your favorite. She held one up for you to take.

"Together." She offered. You made no effort moving. "Okay here, how about we talk about how trash men are and why we don't date them hm?" You smiled and looked down at the chip in her hand again. "I can go first." She ate the first chip and began her story.

"So this one time, before you joined the BAU, there was a guy at the bar, his name was Brad. He came up to our table and tried convincing Garcia, JJ, and I that he was in the fbi. When he refused to show us his credentials, we all flashed ours." You laughed and almost choked the third chip down. "Anyways, the dude's reaction is something I'll never forget. He left there quicker than Morgan can kick a door down. And that's pretty damn fast.

She looked at you and noticed you were smiling. She then traced her eyes to the now empty bag in her hands.

"You did amazing." Your cheeks slightly flushed and you nervously scratched the back of your head.

You didn't have the sensation of throwing up. Maybe a little bit but it was barely there. You were proud of yourself.

She got up and crinkled the bag and threw it away in the bathroom garbage. You pushed yourself father back on the bed, laying on your back once again. When she walked back in you opened your arm out and she joined, cuddling on top of you.

"I'm so proud of you." She mumbled, moving a hand to cup your cheek. You smiled and leaned into her touch.

You reached for the remote and turned the tv off, placing your hand back on her hip. "I love you Emily."

"I know darling." She smirked. You rolled your eyes and she started swiping her thumb softly against your cheek while, coincidently, you started rubbing circles on her hip.

You fell asleep, both of your bodies holding tightly on to the other. Like somehow the other would drift away if they let go.

You promised her you would eat more and she wouldn't have to worry as much. She promised more compliments and reminders.

You did eventually gain weight again. It was hard to break your old cycle but Emily was there through the worst of it. Even if it meant taking off work she was there.

You worked your ass off to find your hidden confidence. Your "clever idea" was quickly thrown out of your head and you focused on things that made you better.

You picked up a new hobby and traveled more with Emily in your off time. You both tried new foods and got tipsy at bars just to end up cuddling at night in the hotel.

You couldn't ask for anyone better than Emily.

_______________________________

"If only our eyes saw souls instead of bodies, how very different our ideals of beauty would be."

-Unknown