Chapter 6 - Loss

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Chapter specific warnings - none really but they talk about pee a lot...

(a/n: I was told that what we call 'surgery' in the UK is more commonly known as 'doctor's office'. Just so you don't get confused when they're going to the surgery... they just see a doctor sgdjfkd)


The gravity of these words was pulling you both under. Neither of you said anything, you were both too focused on trying to think straight and not break out into panic. Just a few weeks ago, your lives had changed drastically, and now, before you even got a chance to adjust to your new reality, it was about to change again.

Not too long ago, you had wanted nothing more than to be pregnant. You wished to start a family, and you were so ready to be a mother. But those times were gone. The person you wanted to build your family with was no longer here, and you were an absolute mess. Were you really able to look after a child, when only a few hours ago, you were thinking about harming yourself to escape the reality you were trapped in?

You honestly didn't know how to feel about this situation. You had been certain that there was no happiness left inside of you, that all was lost. And yet, the thought of carrying Eijiro's child brought a little bit of this missing happiness back. Even though he was gone, a part of him was still inside of you, and it would grow bigger and eventually walk this earth, just like their father once had.

But the thought of being a single mum scared you. It felt wrong to raise your child without their loving father. The reality that Eijiro would never be able to meet his baby was breaking your heart. All they would ever know were stories of the hero their father once was, but they would never get more than just a picture. It wasn't fair that you would have to go through this alone.

You felt terrible for having these thoughts, you should be delighted, no matter the circumstances. A little miracle was growing inside of you after all. A miracle that was a testament of the unconditional love you and Eiji held for each other. No matter what would happen, it would never change the fact that this baby was wanted and that they would be loved dearly.

You looked up at Katsuki, trying to gauge his reaction, but he looked utterly stunned. You could tell that he was still trying to process these words and had no idea how he would react. You had half expected that he would kick you out of his apartment and tell you that it wasn't his problem. But the fact that he was letting you sit here with him, holding you in his arms, showed you just what great of a man he truly was.

While you were watching him, he was still deep in thoughts. He had no idea how he was supposed to react. On the one hand, he was happy, because he knew that this was what you had so desperately wanted. But on the other hand, he wasn't sure if either of you was capable of dealing with this situation. He would definitely help you raise this child, and he would protect them - if you would let him.

But even if he were to raise this child as his own, what involvement would he really have? Would he be the weird uncle that was constantly around for no apparent reason? The two of you weren't a couple after all. He would never be the father of this child, and a part of him was upset about that. He hated himself for having these thoughts, but he couldn't help it.

This baby was the fruit of your love to his best friend, and no matter what was going to happen, it would always feel like he was intruding. In an ideal world, he wouldn't be in the picture at all. He was only getting involved because Eijiro couldn't be here to take care of this baby himself.

He tried to shake off these intrusive thoughts. This wasn't about him. This was about you and the tiny human growing inside of you. He would be there for as long as you wanted him to and he would love this baby as much as he loved you. He wasn't a quitter, he was a man who stood true to his words, and he had promised Eijiro to take care of you, no matter the circumstances.

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