Chenzel; Breaking Point

Dealing With Things.

A/N

After many many complaints of this being triggering to people. Im sorry. I suffer with the same thought, actions and feelings too. Ive put a warning into the bio for the fanfic now. If you dont like triggering stuff... im sorry. Dont read anymore.

-------------------------

Kristin woke up in a manic state. Her body launched up in the air wondering where she was. Unill she saw Idina lying next to her in bed. The blonde saw she had woke up Idina, then she remembered the events of that night unravel in her mind. 

The blonde had ripped herself out of the comfort of her lovers arms. As she saw Idina still half asleep gazing around the room again. The blonde put her arms over to Idina and stroked her arm ,in an apology for waking her up. But even so... not one of them had spoken a word to eachother since they left the Theater the night just gone.

Idina lay there facing the celling, not saying a word, but had a million and one things rushing through her head. Kristin faced the window on the right side of the room. The curtains were still drawn, so the room was still pretty dark, but you could still see.

Kristin was still so tired & the blonde still had bags under her eyes. Idina looked worse in all honesty. Her hair was worse than it was when she had last woken up, her face was pale and it looked like she hadent eaten in a longgg time. Her eyes had no spark anymore, she just looked tired & that was to be expected from her...um... well we all know what were reffering to here. She was just sick.

 As Kristin looked at the window and Idina looked up at the celling, both of them wondered which one of them was going to make the first move and say something. Kristin still didn't know exactly what she was going to say, she knew she couldn't get too emotional, but she couldn't just tell her she was a awful and selfish person. Because she knew she wasn't.

What was she going to say about Idinas self harm? About her depression she tried so hard to hide. About the haterd she had for herself. How could she talk to Idina about this? Idina would get upset and bottle up everything again. The blonde didnt want that to happen again. She was scared because for once in her life, she didnt know what to do or  say. 

Kristin turned over to face Idina. The brunette had noticed her movments and turned over to meet Kristins face. They looked at eachother tiredly, both exausted from one another. Both of their eyes kept fluttering as they were so exausted, but they both faught to keep them open. Kristin decided to make the first move. 

"How you feeling Dee?"

Kristin said, almost in a whisper, she was suprised that Idina could even hear her.

"Tired."

Idina responded, she just sounded completly worn out. Which she was. Kristin opened her eyes again, trying so hard to keep them open. She moved her body closer to Idina and planted a small kiss on top of her head. She saw Idina close her eyes and let out a little sigh, happy that Kristin didn't hate her. Kristin shuffeled back to her spot on the bed.

"You hungry, i'll make you some breakfast if you want?"

Kristin said to Idina.

"No, not really. Umm...thanks anyway."

the brunette replied.Hoping she haden't upset the blonde too much. 

"I just want to lie here with you for a while... Is that okay."

Idina said and  choked, tears thretening to fall again. Kristin noticed Idinas eyes become watery.

"Come here sweetheart"

And with that Kristin pulled Idina in for an embracing long hug. Idina burried her face into Kristins chest, and let out a few stray tears. She didn't havemany tears left after last night.

They lay there fora while, not saying any more. Kristin was planning what she was going tosay, untill she felt Idinas back begin to shake a little, and heard muffling sounds. Kristin brought up Idinas face and looked right into her eyes.

"Oh sweetie."

Kristin began to cry quietly herself. After the events of lastnight and the early hours of the morning, Kristin was still pretty shaken up from all the truths being let out of Idina. But she was happy that she could be open about her worries and insecuritys. They both coninued to cry, and were going to remain openly honnest with eachother.

"Idina please calm down, we need to talk."

Idinas heart started racing, she didnt want to talk. She wanted to lie in bed and pretend the world wasn't here. She didnt want to be here, she wanted to be anywhere right now. Kristin sat up to face Idina, Kristin had to take Idinas arm and sit her up facing her. Idina looked around the roomin a state of panic.

"Kris i need to go to the toilet, let e go first."

Idina hurried out of her mouth. Kristins eyes fuilled with upset and hurt, she couldn'tkeep it inside anymore.

"No Dee, because i went in there while you had just gone back to sleep. It must have been 2-3am. I went in there to get rid of any sharp objects you had in there and i foun-."

Kirstin began sobbing, she put her hand into her face and her back was shaking with her crys. Idina knew she had found her blades & couildn't hear to see her cry like this.

"No, kris, plese dont be like this. Its killing me"

Idina huged Kristin, as the petite woman collapsed into Idinas lap, her emotions overwhelming her. Kristin sat up as she relised how silly she was being, well... thought she was being.

"Idina honey, look at me. How long haveyou been doing this to yourself? Please be honnest with me."

"About a year now Kris."

"What? You never thought to tell me?"

"No, i didn't want you to worry Kris, its just my way of urm...dealing with things."

A tear fell down Kristins face and she collapsed into an enotional wreck onto the bed.

A/N

No more complaining please. Hope yo enjoyed it.