17: closer

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"Those are some flexible hands" I complimented Sakusa in this bonding we have.

"What do you mean?"

Tracing back to what has happened, it has been a few days since me and Sakusa confessed to each other. I still don't know what relationships do, so I took advantage of the internet once again. I explored the internet for ways on how to bond with one's boyfriend other than hugging and kissing since Sakusa's a big germaphobe. Playing twister caught my eye because one, it may help us be closer together emotionally, and two, our skins could touch a bit that would help Sakusa to be accustomed to me. So I called Sakusa to my home though I didn't expect what was happening. Sakusa's limbs were so flexible and he just seems to dodge every part of my skin.

"H-How are you winning this?"

"Passion?" He said in a monotone voice, still being serious with the game.

In the end, I gave up and fell down on the ground. Meanwhile Sakusa gave me a victory smirk and cleaned himself as he stood up. Although I gave up on the game, I won't give up on pursuing Sakusa to have a closer bond with me. I stayed on the ground, waiting for Sakusa's response towards me.

Come now Sakusa, lend a hand and pick me up please.

Sakusa looked me in the eye, which made my hopes up. But he only stretched, washed his hands, and grabbed water. I finally picked myself up.

"Operation get Sakusa closer to me." I mumbled.

Since I was very fond of shoujo mangas, I tried out the techniques that I have read.

Trial 1: We cooked lunch together and I stood beside him. While I was chopping some onions, my hand is slowly coming closer to his so that I could bump it. Unfortunately, every time I do that, Sakusa gets another set of ingredients to chop.

Trial 2: We were watching Netflix together (A/N: and chill ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o)). I pretended to be drowsy so that I could lay my head on Sakusa's shoulder. When I leaned in closer, I suddenly felt a pillow in between our faces. 

What the heck Sakusa? Read the mood!

Trial 3: Last attempt. We just used our phones after watching a movie. I want to show something to him that was from my phone so that I can bump his arm. But then Sakusa said "you could just send it through messenger."

I stood up from my chair and dropped myself dead to my bed. I sighed before saying that I officially give up.  I might just wait until the right time comes where I can eventually be close to Sakusa.

Sakusa went to where I was lying down, and spoke to me. "You do know that you were obvious and annoying." 

Ouch. Maybe he was just forced to be my boyfriend after all.

"It's getting late so I need to go back now." He tells me.

"Okay." There was no life to my reply.

I walked Sakusa to the door and waved a goodbye at him. We were so close yet so far away. I was so disappointed and it felt like I was the only one who had feelings in this relationship.

Maybe I shouldn't have confessed?

I turned around and held on the door knob. I was about to enter when I heard Sakusa speak.

"I enjoyed this day."

"Yeah." I said.

"But you were annoying."

"I already know."

I faced Sakusa to give him some scolding about mocking me, but his comment caught me off guard.

"But you know, you were extraordinarily sweet today L/N. It was adorable." His ears were blushing and his hand was trying to cover his face even though he had a face mask on. 

Not gonna lie, it was a cute sight and it made me forget all the worries I had earlier. 

Sakusa continued to speak. "I-I'm sorry if I'm still unable to do physical contacts with you. But I promise you L/N. I'll try and do my best for you." He quickly turned around to prevent me from seeing his sheepish act.

"Sakusa wait!"

"What is it?" He peaked at me.

"You're blushing!"

There was a short pause until he finally said "No."

That's my boyfriend alright. I thought as I chuckled from his in denial. 

— end of chapter 17—

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