Tempted | Kai Parker

nineteen: distraction

After quickly escaping the Salvatore house with only very vague explanations of anything Kai-related, I was relieved to start my short walk back home.

My feet struggled to grip to the icy streets, as the crisp December air bustled around me. The howls of bitter wind whistled through my ears, quickly beginning to nip my nose with its cruel sting.

I usually hated winter. But after five months of May, I relished every brisk breath I pulled into my lungs.

The weather wasn't the only thing that had dramatically changed. The once still air now hummed with the buzz of life. Filled with families giggling on their Christmas Night walk, or excitedly yammering with armfuls of presents collected from loved one's houses.

Suddenly, everything was so different.

The streets were full, and loud, and I wasn't alone anymore.

So, then why did I feel more alone than ever?

It was all too much to take. I mean, seeing everyone again, having to defend Kai from my friends, meeting Jo, and then Kai rejecting me. After months of nothing, the overwhelming changes were almost unbearable.

They began to make my heart thump through my chest with uncomfortable thuds that screamed into my ears. However, no matter how loud my heart raced, it only partially shrouded the taunting thoughts that rattled against my skull.

With my mind drowning in my own laboured notions, I soon became distracted from my surroundings. I was in such a daze that I was nearly hit by a car just a block away from my house, completely forgetting that it was necessary to look before crossing.

After that I made a point of being extra cautious as I trembled the rest of the way home.

Then my eyes finally focused on the sight of my house in the distance.

As soon as I saw the building, I couldn't help but think of the visit Kai and I had made there in the prison word. I instantly thought of all the emotions walking into the empty house had made me feel. How heartbroken I was.

And then my mind flashed with taunting images of Kai comforting me when I was upset. I could still practically hear his consoling words whispering through my ears.

God, I really thought he cared about me.

I was such an idiot.

With a small sigh, I forced myself to suppress any thoughts of Kai into the corner of my brain. I was sure they'd be available to torment me later, but in that moment, I just had to focus on seeing my Dad. I didn't have the space for anything else.

My heart raced even faster as approached the house, and with trembling legs I climbed up to the steps onto the porch. I didn't know why I was so nervous, but I couldn't ignore the way my bones with jittering or how my mind was racing.

Maybe the reason I was scared was because I had changed so much as a person in the past five months.

And what if he wasn't proud of who I'd become?

I just wanted one reunion tonight to go smoothly.

I frantically tried to collect my disjointed thoughts as I paused at the door, using my final moments alone to compose myself.

I was so excited to see him, I really was, but there was just so much I couldn't tell him. And I hated lying to him, but I couldn't tell him any of the stuff that had happened between Kai and me.

Or any of the parts where Kai was a sociopathic murderer.

I mean, my Dad, he knew about vampires and witches and wolves, but his knowledge of them was a tad purer than reality. I tended to keep the more gruesome details from him in an effort to protect him.