MONSTER --- natasha romanoff x fem oc

Chapter 22

hey guys, here's the promised new chapters. dumb me didn't count right last time, so it's actually 8 new chapters today. i really hope you like them, these chapters are very personal to me. anyways, next chapter is out next week somewhen. have fun :)

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Late 2014; set after The Winter Soldier and before Age of Ultron

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Freya knocked on the door. "Hey, it's me."

The door opened and Bucky smiled down at her, his shoulder-long brown hair tied back into a bun. "Hey, thanks for coming."

"Sure."

Freya walked past him and looked around the already familiar room. The bed at the wall in front of her, the wardrobe at the right wall and the row of windows to her left. She sat down on the bed and asked: "What's wrong?"

Bucky sat down on the chair and pulled it in front of the bed. "I think it's getting worse", he said.

Freya nodded. Ever since Tony allowed Bucky to live in the Tower (after a bit of convincing from both Freya and Steve) she's been helping Bucky with his traumatic experiences as a brainwashed assassin.

"Why do you think so?", Freya asked.

"I don't know, I'm having these nightmares and... like flashbacks."

Freya sighed. "These are the worst."

"What do you mean?" Bucky frowned.

"No, this isn't about me. Go on."

"No, no, please, maybe it will help."

"Okay." Freya cleared her throat. "You know much about my past already. It's been... let's say, I didn't enjoy it very much. After I got here... I went through the same thing you are going through right now. I had these flashbacks and visions, even when I was awake. My mind was weak and sometimes I heard the thoughts of hundreds of people in my mind at once. Now it's not so bad anymore, but sometimes it still happens."

"Is that why I heard you screaming?", Bucky asked silently.

Freya swallowed. A few weeks ago she had a rather bad breakdown again - he probably heard her. "Yeah."

Bucky stayed silent for a second. "Why... isn't it that often anymore?", he then asked.

"Every time I felt my mind getting weaker, I imagined a big wall around it. It can't affect you if you don't let it inside. But... Natasha also helped me. When I was in that... pool of thoughts, she was there and I could cling to her." Freya nodded slightly and smiled.

"How did you built that wall?" Bucky's voice was silent.

"Think of your happiest memory", Freya answered. "Cling to it and built it around you."

Bucky nodded and then a grin appeared on his face. "You and Natasha..."

"No", Freya interrupted him and shook her head. "I don't think that... No."

"I see the way you look at her."

"It's nothing. And even if... I don't know if she is even... you know... attracted to women."

"Just talk to her."

A laugh erupted from her lips. "You just say it like it's easy."

"What do you have to lose?"