Glass Hearts

Chapter 31: Elephant in the Room

Kevin Kim

"Why isn't this making sense?" I mutter as I scroll through my memo.

I reread the same paragraph for the third time, and still feel like the words aren't clicking. The tablet makes a click when I shut off the screen. I need a break. Other than the occasional squeak of my chair and the hum of the central air, the conference room has complete silence. The quiet could be relaxing if I let it be, but idle time makes way for idle thoughts. That's the last thing I need when Darwin could be here any minute with the paperwork. Looking at what still needs to be done, I'm tempted to postpone it. It's crazy. How does time elude me on things that matter, but stockpile in abundance on what I'd rather forget?

Each tick of the clock unearths the worries that nag at the back of my head. You enjoyed it. You were weak. You took advantage. You were irresponsible.  The memory mocks my actions and attempts to expose my own selfish behavior. After about ten minutes of this madness, I lean back in my chair and rub my temples. All this thinking is giving me a headache.  Instead of relaxing, the memory of last night's events barge past my defenses and engulf me in an unwanted vision.

Samantha clasps my hand with a look so painfully melancholic that my whole body freezes in place. Cool air rushes through the open car door, while we sit at a stalemate, neither of us able to look away. Samantha doesn't utter a word, but her pleading eyes speak volumes. Stay with me, they urge and pin me in their magnetic grip. Her intensity overwhelms me and causes my mind to stall. What should I do when she looks at me like that? My next course of action is muddled when I remember her fear-stricken face from this afternoon. I can't blame the poor women for not wanting to be alone after what she told me about her husband—

My thoughts are interrupted when her delicate fingers glide across my sensitive skin. They leave goosebumps in their wake and the cold breeze makes me shiver. With this short contact, the darkened car suddenly takes on a more intimate atmosphere. The two of us are more isolated than I dared to notice before, which makes me feel ill at ease. I cover her hand to stop her from interlocking our fingers, but she shuts her eyes as if to savor my touch. Fear isn't what seems to drive her. Samantha doesn't strike me as scared anymore, but as someone who is reaching out in a fit of loneliness. I try to process how to handle the situation but come up short. Should I stay until she calms down or are we already crossing some invisible line by being here together?

"Samantha."

She parts her lips and exhales softly. It's as if I haven't said anything at all. Her visible contentment oddly quiets my own racing thoughts and spreads a calming effect through my body. I relax into my seat and am almost sucked into the contagious emotion...

The car door slams with a thud when a strong gust of wind hits the parking lot. It's enough to snap me out of my daze. This isn't right.

"Ms. Campbell," I call her by her last name to enforce some distance.

To continue holding her hand would be improper, so I gently place them on her lap. She may be seeking comfort, but as her boss, I cannot be that source for her.

Her eyelids flutter open at the sound of my voice. The tension returns to her shoulders and embarrassment redden her cheeks. Our short-lived peace vanishes and I am the one responsible...

"Mr. Kim, Darwin Webber is here to see you."

"Thank you," I say more to myself than to Donna.

 Even though I can't wrap my head around my hesitation,  I have to stop letting something so trivial bother me.  

I straighten my tie and rise from my chair.