need - charli d'amelio

random chpater - without saying a word.

She looked at me with her bright brown orbs and it seemed like all my trouble was gone.

For a moment, I forgot about what was bugging me before, all I could think about was her.

Her loving stare at my face, trying to decipher everything.

Trying to decipher my thoughts, figure out my feelings, trying to find the meaning behind the look on my face.

She studies my features, looking at my face and slowly moving her eyes up and down a couple of times to focus on all of my features individually, trying to see and make sense of the whole picture.

And then, she suddenly locks her eyes in mine, our gazes meet each other and her whole facial expression changes.

Her eyes become darker and her pupils dilate.

I could tell she was doubting something, thinking about what to do next, calculating her steps.

She bit her bottom lip, trying to hold herself back from doing something.

I, however, couldn't tell exactly what it was, but it was clear that she was really nervous.

It's just the two of us alone over at my house. Just us two alone in my room on a rainy evening.

The lights aren't on, the only light in my room is the moonlight shining in from my window, and the streetlamps which never seemed to really light up the place.

The moonlight shined on her perfectly, a ray of light coming from thw window, lighting up

The room is filled with an overwhelming silence and the occasional light sound of a raindrop hitting the window every couple of seconds.

The silence is so dominant that I can almost hear my thoughts screaming at me.

It's a mix of the random, 'what did you do?', 'how could you let this happen?', followed by other hurtful familiar sentences.

I have stopped crying, but the erge to burst in tears again is strong.

I don't know what I was even thinking when I caller her.

I called her, hoping she would come over and help me, knowing that she can't actually help.

I called her, hoping she would come see me, knowing I shouldn't, knowing the effects my actions could cause.

I tried my best to stay away, but I came to a point where I didn't really care what would happen next.

I know what her being here can cause, and to be honest at that point, I couldn't care less.

I just wasn't able to try and keep shutting her out anymore.

I couldn't keep on trying to avoid her.

I knew exactly what I wanted, what I needed, the thing I carved. I also knew that I can't have it.

But still, i decided to keep on trying.

A part of me is always hoping she thinks the same, that we both want the same thing, but are too scared to be the first one to make a move.

The loud silence that has been filling the room is broken by a loud thunder.

It almost felt like the weather was controlled by my feelings, that somehow the universe knows what I think about, and is trying to stop me from acting out.

The dark-haired girl's hand almost automatically moves to over to mine, a swift movement followed by the softest touch.

My focus moved to our hands.