need - charli d'amelio

random chapter after time skip - time heals all

Y/n's pov

3 months.

3 months have passed ever since I was in that hospital.

3 months have passed since I made my decision, since I swore to stay away from Charli.

Right now, I'm sitting at my psychologist's office.

How did I get here?

Let me explain.

After Charli didn't show up at the hospital to visit me, even though she was what got me in there in the first place, I felt betrayed.

I know she didn't know who really did it, no one knew, but her best friend was beat up, and hospitalized.

I was at the hospital for 3 days.

She had 3 days to come visit, she didn't.

I stayed home because of my injuries, and she didn't come to visit then either.

After that moment we had, I thought that would bring us closer.

Short answer, it didn't.

But that worked out in my favor, it made it even easier to distance myself from her.

I didn't even need to do that much, she started distancing herself from me before I was even threatened to.

But then, to my surprise, when I showed up to school with the marks still visible on my face and body, my broken leg in a cast, she looked shocked.

She stared at me, frozen in place, like she saw a ghost, or a zombie.

She ran up to me, and asked me if I was okay, I nodded, and continued to head to my class.

I lied.
I wasn't okay.

I usually hate lying, but during that time, I lied a lot.

She started wanting to help me, wanting to hang out, I had to lie my way out.
If I accepted her offers, that'd put my life at risk.

Crazy to think about that, huh?

Hanging out with my best friend could kill me.

I don't really know if those boys would have really killed me, but I didn't think they'd beat me up either, didn't want to risk it.

It also seemed like she regrets everything she did, talking to me, looking at me, texting me, calling me, she had a look on her face like she did something wrong, a look of shame that would only show up after she did something related to me.

She doubted if she should talk to me, I could see it.

I kept conversations as short as I could, until she got the hint and stopped trying to start them.

Not hanging out with her gave me a lot of free time.

Suddenly, I had a bunch of time where I was doing nothing.

Every time that I didn't keep myself busy had me thinking about her, I had to find something to do.

I tried drowning myself in Netflix shows, but every time I would start watching something, I would automatically try to cuddle her, because we always watched Tv together. It was a reflex.

I didn't find anything interesting to watch, because we started watching all of the good shows together, and I didn't want to get ahead without her.

I tried binge watching Disney movies, but couldn't. It reminded me of her too.

I started working harder in school, using homework and research papers to pass my time. I decided to try to make the best of that time. If I couldn't hang out with the one I love, at least I could do better in school or something.
I decided to take nothing less than an A+, no longer feeling complete with having an A or a B+.
That gave me an excuse to drown myself in homework.
Before a test, I would study as many hours as I could.
When I had a project, I would start it as soon as it was given out, working to make in better every single day until I had to submit it.