need - charli d'amelio

5 - like the old times

y/n's pov

Charli and I are currently making our way to the park.

It's kind of a surprise, I guess.

I didn't really tell her where we are going but I think she knows the way there.

I am taking her there because it used to be 'our spot', we hung out there all the time when we were little.

It always reminds us of good memories, a time when we had no worries at all.

School wasn't stressful, there were no complicated feelings and thoughts, no panic attacks.

Charli is really shy whenever it comes to her panic attacks, when she has them she always tries to keep it a secret from me, even if I am literally next to her, because she thinks they are going to scare me away.

No offence, but that's stupid.

Not in a mean way, it just doesn't make any sense.

I had my fare shares of panic attacks, not as big as Charli's, but I know how it feels.

It's not going to scare me away, I have no idea why she thinks that.

She can't scare me away, no matter what she does, or what happens.

Every time she says she is scared that I will disappear on her one day, I get reminded of my feelings towards her, she can't scare me away, but I could.

I don't think I will ever tell her, it's best that way.

It is a harmless crush, that's it.

Every best friends have that kind of feeling for each other.

It's not attraction, its attachment.

But maybe...

What if she feels the same?

No that's crazy.

I just have to make the best of what we have now.

I need to keep this friendship safe.

It's all I have.

I need this.

Out of nowhere Charli grabs me into a tight side hug and put her head on my shoulder as we keep on walking.

Charli is acting clingy lately, but I don't mind it at all.

I like it.

"You like what?" Charli says.

Did I say that out loud? How much did she hear?

"Umm I just like how close we are and that we are so comfortable with each other." I say rubbing the back of my neck.

"Oh, I like that too. Wait scratch that, I love it." She says while making the word 'love' very clear.

"I love that too, and I also love you." I say softly and tap the tip of her nose.

"I love you more." She says while snuggling her face into my shoulder ever more, which I didn't even know was possible.

"Not really sure about that statement, but okay." I say laughing softly.

Charli joins in, which makes us look like we are on drugs.

Two teens, walking around outside at school hours, barely even walking and laughing at nothing.

Drugs aren't really a thing around here, but still.

I love her laugh, its angelic, just like her, even tough she isn't just angelic, she is an angel.