Deep scars : young Remus lupin

"Why?"

Clara POV

Lily looked at me "why should you be sorry?" tears swelling in her eyes before remembering and consequently slapping me, yeah I guess I deserved that. "Why didn't you say goodbye?" Tears now flowing down her face as she pulled away "why did you have to go?" A pang of guilt building in my stomach "and why do you look like a completely different person?"

"I-I..." I stumbled "lily can we talk about this in private?" I pleaded.

"And that's why I brought you here miss Evans," Dumbledore interrupted "you asked if you could keep your vacant place in your room for miss king's," Dumbledore paused to correct himself "miss Kaid's arrival and since she is now here may she stay in her old room as we have a policy at hogwarts that she cannot sleep with her fellow schoolmates as they are all boys."

"Yes." Lily replied almost immediately. I looked at her in awe, I hadn't seen this girl in 2 years and she had just slapped me but without a second doubt she wanted to share a room with me.

The walk to the common room was a bit awkward as it was just us two because everyone was still at the meal. It consisted of me slightly trailing lily while she glanced at me every so often. "Expelliarmus" she whispered to the fat lady as she eyed me up before realising it was me and welcoming me back. Oh Godrick I hope she doesn't mention it to anyone else.

The room was exactly like it used to be and everything was in the same place. My trunk was at the end of the bed but before I got to get to it lily stood in front of me blocking my way. " I want a explanation this time and I want the truth, the whole truth."
The truth, when had I ever said the truth. I peered up through my ever growing hair as my emotions were causing it to grow quicker tears were sliding of my face and I just broke down In Lily's arms.

She caught me while trying to calm me down my chest was getting tighter as I could hardly breath, crap I was having a panic attack like the one I had the night before, before when I smashed my mirror. My hair had gone a white relating to my emotional state of panic, I could normally control it even when my emotions were high but not when I could hardly breath. She had realised what was happening and led me to my bed. "Deep breaths okay, 1. 2. 3. that's it keep going" she spoke while trying not to freak out.

After my panic attack I told her everything that has happened in the last two years since I had seen her about my powers, my parents, school, the death eaters, how I'm living in Bulgaria with my auntie and uncle, everything. I blamed my leaving on my powers which is basically true, since I didn't want to tell her about Remus and reveal his secret.

—————-

Lily POV

We were lying on Claras bed top to toe about a hour after her breakdown had finished her hair had turn a mix of colours during it mainly white and red but had settled back on what I think is her natural hair colour now black. Her puffy red eyes looked at me from the other side of the bed. "Thanks lils." She said sincerely. I felt sorry for her not in a pity sort of way just in a way that I wasn't there for her when she probably needed me the most. But I also felt that we were closer now than we had ever been before she left.

A loud knock came from the door "Lilyflower can we come in?" James asked from outside the door. Clara pushed up from the bed and nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard who it was.

"Give me a minute James." I replied

"How did they even get up here?" Clara whispered to me in a worried tone.

"I don't know, what should we do?"

"Ask them."

"Potter, how did you get up here?"

"Oh, well moony learnt a spell to disable the stairs turning into a slide for 10seconds and even though it took a couple of try's we all got up here." James answered.

"Except for wormtail he's still at the bottom eating the bread rolls he stole from dinner." Sirius continued.

"And why exactly are you here, it's 9pm?"

"Well, Marlene from the room next door said she heard some crying that lasted for about an hour and since she didn't think she was close enough to comfort you she came to get us."

"We have fire whisky." Sirius said.

"And chocolate." Remus mumbled,
Clara wasn't much help she raised her eyebrows in a 'that sounds good, we should let them in' way but then stopped me from opening the door and started thinking.

Clara POV

My heart pounded in my chest fire whisky and chocolate was just what I needed now but another confrontation is not. "What do you think we should do?" I asked lily.

"I think we should let them in, the longer we hide it from them the more angry they will be when they find out." She did have a good point.

Remus POV

"Can you hear that?" I asked the others.

"Hear what moony?" Sirius questioned

"Lily's speaking to someone in her room, there is someone else in there." I could hear them because my heightened senses hadn't worn of from the last full moon a couple of days prier.

"Ok, if that's the case then I'm going in." James whispered before opening the door to reveal lily standing a meter away and a girl with about waste length black hair sitting on the opposite bed her hair covering her face as she played with the bandages on her knuckles.

Her head slowly lifted to reveal, Clara? But not my Clara, a different one. A more grown up and beautiful but bruised Clara. My heart was beating loudly in my chest, finally she came back to me, to us.

Sirius POV

Clara is sitting on the bed looking at me, the person who was always there for me in my first two years here. And then I realised it wasn't lily that was crying it was Clara, no I can't be her she left. My body went num and before I could realise, the bottle of fire whisky slipped from my hand, but I heard no smash. I looked down to see it was floating a inch above the floor before flying toward Clara just for her to catch it. "So are we opening this, or is it just for decoration."