Pretty Boy | VerKwan

nine

few hours has passed and seungkwan was still out and he's thinking when to just say to the staffs that he's going to quit. he doesn't want to say this to seokmin because he knows he'll get disappointed at him and he's going to quit too. he can't do that and he can't be the one determining his hyung's future.

his phone was ringing non-stop so he decided to just accept it.

[hello? seungkwan? it's seungcheol hyung. jeonghan is worried about you. where are you?]

"h-hi hyung. i'm still in the company and i already informed manager hyung that i'll be staying. you don't have to worry about me hyung"

[but are you okay now? do you want me to tell mingyu to pick you up? let's talk]

"no hyung. i-i'll go back by myself. i just need to do something. maybe i'll just practice everything now"

[oh come on, seungkwan. don't overwork yourself. you have to rest]

"i'm fine hyung. i kind of rested here for a while and i think i can still practice"

[okay. just call me if you need anything. i'll say this to jeonghan]

"okay hyung bye"

actually, seungkwan was lying about practicing. he's going to quit now and just leave to go home later at midnight. he can't leave while seokmin is in front of him. he just have to leave without notice and that's final.

"seungkwan what brings you here?" it was their manager noona, who he knows the best in the company.

"i-i want to quit noona. i mean, i think this isn't the right path for me" he said and the manager's facial expression turned into worry.

"what? why? why do you think that this is not the right thing for you? did something happened? tell me" seungkwan's tears the flowed down his cheeks and the manager needed to grab the tissues beside her.

"i keep on messing things up. seokmin hyung was already improving and he was really good but i feel like i'm being left behind. i can't keep up. i can't be the one ruining them. i-i cannot do this anymore" he just sobbed into his manager's arms and all his noona did was to rub his back for a while.

"i'll give you time to think seungkwan. if you really think that this is not for you, you may leave the dorm without saying anything. if you can leave by yourself without a regret or a hint of sadness, i'll let you go. this is all on you. i'm saying this so that you'll realize on your own how important this dream to you"

-

12:30am. seungkwan was at the dorm as their manager drove him back. the only thing running on his mind was packing his things up. if he can leave freely, that would be good for him because he didn't have to talk to many people and cry about everything.

while everyone was asleep, he took his small bag and took some of his clothes out of the closet. he can't take everything at once and he have to just take a little and maybe just go back after a few days. he just needed his presence to be forgotten by everyone and he'll move on.

he then got out of his room, with his bag clutched on the right sad and he sat down, wearing his shoes.

"seungkwan? where are you going? it's late" seungkwan froze on his spot as he heard hoshi on his back.

"h-hyung i'm leaving for a while" the younger replied without looking back at his hyung. he was crying again and he really can't go home on his own without being sad about everything.

"leaving? to where? practice is still going on and evaluation is near. why are you leaving?" the older was really getting mad now. he knew what seungkwan was up to. "you're quitting, are you?"

"yes hyung. look, i don't want to cause any more trouble. i certainly do not want to ruin everything for you guys. you are already precious to me that this is the only way i could stop giving you headaches. i don't want to be dramatic as fuck but i can't do this anymore. everyone was so good at this and i can't keep up. maybe this isn't the right thing for me" seungkwan replied and hoshi rolled his eyes.

"i've been a trainee for five years seungkwan and i was so mad that you even got to pass the examination in just a click. we're about to debut now and can't you see where you are right now? in just 6 months you're about to debut with us while i struggled for five years to be here. i tried to quit for how many times but i can't. i can't just give up on my dreams just because i can't keep up. i'm sorry for being harsh, for being rude, but you can't leave us here" that's when seungkwan dropped his bag. he just wanted to hug hoshi right now and say sorry.

"hyung-

but before he could speak, hoshi already hugged him so tight and rubbed his back. "i know i'm rude awhile ago but you belong here. you can save us and you can make us debut with your talent. forgive me, seungkwan. i should've helped you. i was just as pressured as you that's why i said those things"

"what is happening here and why are you hugging in the middle of the dark?" it was hansol's turn to wake up seeing them hugging so tight. so he turned on the lights to see seungkwan in a shoes, with a bag on his side. "wait are you quitting, boo?"

"hansol dress up. we're going to the studio right now. since you're already here, let's stay up till morning to help seungkwan. let's go practice"

"i don't get it. why are you two crying?"

"oh shut up before seungkwan really quits"