Pretty Boy | VerKwan

twenty-three

seungkwan was busy brewing the coffee and toasting the bread when hansol came out of his room which startled seungkwan a little.

"hey are you okay? i mean, i overheard you and your mom on the phone and don't get me wrong! i was just feeling guilty that i asked you to stay" hansol said while looking really worried at him.

"you don't have to feel guilty, hansol. i was going to stay too even if you don't ask me. i just wanted to have an alone time, maybe. i was not feeling well to go home and face them. maybe i'm too worried about what i have to share to my family. i don't have anything to say to them about this path. i'm not even sure if i can keep on doing this. i love what i do right now but i feel a little insecure" that was the first time that hansol heard seungkwan about his worries. normally, they won't even talk about their problems.

"you haven't changed, boo. i mean, i still remember how you won that volleyball game between our seniors. how you also won that creative writing contest, plus the awards you get in the singing contest in our village that they have to let you be the judge because you always win. see, not every time we have to make the people proud of us. you have done enough and i think your parents won't mind that you are still at the bottom of this path. i think they will be more than happy just to see you still hanging on and striving with us. i'm saying this because i-i know how you feel" when hansol said that, seungkwan doesn't know what to say. he was taken aback with the sudden comfort from the younger.

"t-thanks for saying that. you still remember those memories. i kinda missed that events. now i really feel that i'm getting older. but yeah, maybe you're right about your words. i will definitely remember that" seungkwan smiled warmly at him. "here's your coffee and bread. tell me if you still have to put sugar or anything. i don't know how you like your coffee"

"oh everything is fine. let's just eat"

-

right after that morning, seungkwan was in the living room, still thinking whether he's gonna go home or not. hansol really helped him clear his mind and since he already talked to his mom, he can just stay in and wait for their next day off.

"hey seungkwan, you're zoning out. are you okay?" it was seokmin who is holding a box of lego, ready to sit beside seungkwan.

"yeah i'm fine. just thinking" seungkwan answered, waiting for seokmin to open the box. "maybe helping you build iron man will get my mind off of things"

"as you should. because i'll be throwing this out if i can't finish it. it's been inside my room for 2 months and i decided to just build it and have it as a display instead of just let the dust eat it" seokmin answered and he scattered the legos on the table.

"hyung can i tell you something? but promise me not tell this to anyone. i mean, it's kinda not surprising but i still like hansol. i figured it out a few days ago but just like the past, i'm still testing myself. i'm not in love with him yet but what are your thoughts about it?"

seokmin looked at him with a serious expression and seungkwan kinda got scared for a moment because the older was not saying anything but just staring at his eyes. "my thoughts about it? it's cool, i guess? that after how many years, you still like him. but he's not gay, remember? i don't want you to get hurt. especially not from our members. but it's up to you if you wanna give it a chance. maybe he changed and you know? be cool about it too?"

"impossible. i was just trying to tell you but of course i wouldn't do anything to ruin our group. i'm not stupid but yeah, i'm worried that i might fall in love with him. he's changed in a way that we're comfortable with each other again"

"actually i like joshua hyung too but yeah we're on the same page. gays really like to suffer in pain and we prove that" both of them chuckled because of how pathetic they were to each other. "but you know, we can just not worry about it. we are lucky enough to be by their side. let's just enjoy the moment and focus on our work"

"yeah you're right"