The Light In The Darkness

Hate that I dont hate you

Shin-ah's POV

Tsuki had been gone longer than one should take if they're taking a second bath. I'm sitting in the shared room of the group watching Zeno run around pretending to be a ferocious beast while Yuna pretends to run from him laughing all the while. I observe they're antics fondly reminding me of a certain silver haired girl. The thought of the missing Tsuki invades my mind once again putting me on edge. Feeling the anxious waves wash over me I decided to go and look for her just to make sure she's okay. I remember Hak also left not to long after  Tsuki made her declaration to take another bath. Suspicion rising in me as I take note that he has also not returned. I stand  to go and look for her.

Just as I open the door she comes crashing in to me. She bumps harshly into me just as my hands immediately come to her arms to steady her. She looks up to me shocked and slightly frightened. I instantly can tell she has been crying as her eyes are red and slightly puffy still. Almost as if she just cried and then waited to return to hide it.

"Are you okay?!" I ask her in an alarmed but hushed voice. Her eyes widen when she realizes I can tell something has upset her. Her alarm is quickly replaced with a fake eye closed smile as she removes herself from my arms and brushes passed me.
"I'm f..fine! I'm just going to head to bed now... goodnight blue!" She rushes into separate bedroom where we would all sleep tonight. Not even sparing a glance or look to the rest of the group, and quickly disappear behind the sliding doors to the sleeping room. Everyone looks at the door where Tsuki just rushed into with silence.

"Shin-ah?... is Tsuki alright?" Yona questions
"I.... Don't know.." I mumble to myself as I make my way to her. When I slide open the door the room is dark only being lit with the light from the rising moon streaming in. I see Tsuki laying in the farthest futon already tucked in facing the wall.
"Tsuki.... Are you okay? Did something happen?" I ask quietly as I slowly approach her.
"Yeah blue I'm okay.... Just ... just really tired.. so I'm going to just go to sleep now if that's okay" she gives her muffled response as I place a gentle hand on her shoulder. I'm not sure if I should keep prying or if I should just let her be. It fills me with worry not knowing what's going on but maybe I should just give her some space for now until she's ready to talk.

"Okay I'll let you sleep....but I'm always here for you if you need me" I say trying to comfort her
"I know Blue..... I love you" she rises up to give me a quick kiss and a small smile. I get up to leave as I tell her I love her too. As I'm closing the sliding doors I also hear the doors behind me open. I turn to see Hak walking in his face downcast making his expression unreadable.
"Hi Hak! Did you enjoy the springs!?" Yona chirps out happily. He doesn't even lift his head to respond.
"....i ...." He doesn't finish his sentence just continues to stare at the floor.
"Hak?? Is everything okay?" Yona question getting up to check on tall man. She stands in front of him trying to get him to look at her but he refuses to make eye contact.

"First Tsuki runs in here in a rush and doesn't say anything and now Hak's as stoic as a statue" Yun muses, I take note how Hak flinches slightly when he hears Tsuki's name, making my eyes narrow at the suddenly silent man. Something happened between them and whatever it was it wasn't good. He raises his eyes only slightly to meet mine a some what pained expression crosses his face as our eyes lock but it's gone as soon as he drops his gaze again.
"Maybe we should all get some sleep huh? It's been a long day and we should get some rest. Before we head out." Yona says trying to convince the group. They all come to the general consensus to sleep and they start filing into the sleeping room. Hak still lingers behind as everyone heads to bed.
"Hak aren't you coming?" Yona asks from the door way.
"I think I'll stay up a little longer" he says sitting down in a corner of the room looking out a window.
"Okay..... we'll goodnight" I let her walk in before me giving Hak one last glance before walking in with the rest of the group. I get in my futon next to Tsuki and slowly drift off to sleep. With my mind reeling to figure out what could have happened between Tsuki and Hak.

HAK'S POV

I sit continue to stare out the window as I can see the small streaks of light come through the trees. I didn't sleep all night my mind torturing me with images of Tsuki's face after I tried to forced myself on her. It's was nothing but pure betrayal and anger. I don't understand how I let myself lose control like that and hurt someone that I care about. I betrayed her trust in me for nothing more than lust. I drop my head in shame as my hands rake through my hair for the millionth time this night.

I hear the door to the room where everyone is sleeping slowly slide open. I raise my head slightly looking to see if it was a sleep walking Zeno, only to be met with silver hair and piercing blue eyes. I bolt up straight looking at Tsuki as she closes the door quietly behind her. She narrows her eyes at me in disdain and with no words turns and walks out of the room into the lit hallways of the springs.
I spring to my feet and walk afternoon her. I just need to apologize and explain, if I could just tell her how sorry I am and that I'm just a huge idiot maybe she could forgive me.... Maybe.

I quickly enter the hallway just in time to see her round a corner heading towards the entrance. I head in that direction hoping to catch her before she goes anywhere I can't follow. When I finally catch up to her she standing in what appears to be a court yard area with her back towards me looking at the ground. I slowly approach her making sure she knows someone is behind her as not to scare her again.

"Tsuki.....I'm sorry about.." before i can even finish my sentence she turned around and closed the distance between us. Next thing I know there's a stinging in my right cheek. *slap *slap*slap*slap*slap*slap! It continues like this for a while her angrily slapping my face as tears stream from her eyes. I let her continue knowing  that this is what I deserve and this is what she needs.

"I.... *slap* am not *slap* weak! And I refuse *slap* to continue *slap* to be treated a such *slap*" she's unable to continue as clutches on to my robe burring her head in my chest to quietly sob. I slowly embrace her as I allow her to cry. My heart wrenching at every muffled sob.
"Tsuki... yesterday was not a display of your weakness, but of mine. I know you must hate me but I can't tell you how sorry I am I hurt you and betrayed your trust. But I swear from this moment forward I will protect you with my life and never do anything to hurt you again." I say with conviction, she pushes me away from her roughly stepping away from me to look into my eyes fiercely.
"I don't need your protection or anyones protection! I'll protect myself! I won't let another man use me again! And your right I should hate you! I should despise you with every bone in my body! ...... but I don't..... and I hate myself for not being able to...." She says the last part with a sob racking through her body.I come and Kneel in front of her looking up to wipe her tears.
"I'm ...so...so sorry tsuki" I say embracing her
"Why are you such an idiot Hak?" She mumbles out as she wraps her arms around my neck.
"I ... I don't know..."

I don't say anything more as we stay like that until she's finished crying. She pulls away from me as I stand up.

"You should really stop acting like an ogre for once. Your never going to win Yona heart if you throw yourself at her like that!" She says with a sniffle. I can't help the light feeling i get in my chest hearing her call me an ogre again. I also can't help the small pain in my heart to hear that she still thinks I only have feelings for Yona.

"Tsuki ...... I actually ...... have feelings for..." before I can finish my sentence a heavy hand comes down on my shoulder. When I turn to follow the hand I'm met with the dark eye holes of a mask and a tight frown.
"Hi blue....... What are you doing here?" Tsuki questions with a smile as she brushes passed me to hug him. My face contorts in jealousy for a moment as I watch them embrace. He must have been listening for a while and knew what I was about to say.

"I was worried when I woke up and you weren't  there so I came looking for you..." he takes her hand starting to lead her back into the inn.
"Oh one second blue! Hak we're you about to say something just then" she stops as she turns to face me with shin-ah holding on to her hand firmly. I look at her wondering if I dare try to finish my confession, but when I look up I can see shin-ah shaking his head slowly indicating I shouldn't even think about it.
"Uuuhhh.... No it was.....it was nothin...." I say scratching the back of my head in aggravation.
"Oh.... Okay then..." she's pulled along after the blue haired boy her eyes shimmering a smile  up at him in the rising sun.
I guess I should count myself lucky she kinda forgave me, but kami!!

I wish she was mine!