Unforgotten Memories

Chapter-34

Rose

I lay there on the hospital bed after 32 hours of painful labour, only to give birth to a stillborn baby boy. I cradle his lifeless body close to my chest. His tiny fragile body has turned purple, his small puckered lips have become a dark shade of blue. I gently stroke his hair and place a butterfly kiss on his tiny hands that are no longer than my palm.

"My baby Leo." I coo at my child, hoping that the pain I feel in my chest will somehow have the power to bring my baby back to life.

"Please come back, sweetheart. Mommy needs you." I whisper as I kiss his forehead.

"Don't leave me. I really need you with me, Leo." I sob, kissing the sole of my baby's feet.

"I'm gonna love you so much. There's so much that we have left to do. I bought you so many baby clothes. I got you a beautiful little crib. There's a bunch of soft toys waiting for you at home. There's an adorable baby elephant teddy who is very eager to meet you. His name is Flappy, you know because he's got big flappy ears." I say laughing softly.

"I know you will like him. Because the second I laid my eyes on that teddy, you went wild inside my belly! You wouldn't stop kicking." I tear up, even though I'm smiling wide at my son.

"He's going to be your cuddle buddy. When mommy is not with you, you'll have him to calm you down. He's going to b-be your best friend." I whisper.

"Please open your eyes sweetie," I beg, softly brushing his cheeks.

Suddenly, the door is opened wide, with a couple of nurses entering the room.

"Miss Rose, it's time to give the baby." She says apologetically. I vigorously shake my head, bringing Leo to close me.

"Please don't take him from me! I'm not done yet! Please no! NO!"

"Ma'am, you have to give him up. It's time." Another nurse says before she proceeds to my way and snatches the lifeless baby from me.

"NOOO PLEASE NOO."

I wake up gasping for air, panting heavily, as if I ran a mile. I look at my side and find Jackson fast asleep. I subconsciously place my hand on my belly, only to find it deflated, reduced to the pudge I had before I was pregnant. I get off the bed and head towards the bathroom to look at my reflection in the mirror. There are bags under my eyes, my face looks pale, and my lips have lost their natural pink tinge. I slowly raise my nightgown to the level of my waist and trace the ugly scar the C-section left on my lower belly. I would've carried this mark with pride if my son was alive. But he isn't. And this scar never fails to remind me that. I let out a soft sigh and head towards the baby room. During my second trimester, I had forced Jackson to build a baby room. We would go shopping for every single thing that would be required once the baby comes. From a cradle to a pacifier, everything was arranged. I even bought toys, lots and lots of them. But one such toy which caught my attention was the baby elephant teddy; Flappy.

I walk towards the cradle that was neatly arranged in the side of the room. I peek into it and find Flappy in there amid blankets and tiny baby socks. I hold Flappy in my hand and rub it gently against my cheek, feeling its soft texture against my face. I smile when I delicately flick one of Flappy's gigantic ears.

"What are you doing here?" A deep voice interrupts my thoughts. I flinch at the sternness in his voice and turn around, to see Jackson walking towards me with an apologetic look.

"Did I scare you, baby? I'm sorry." He wraps his arms around me, kissing my head. I don't know how do I tell him to not touch me right now. I'm trying to have a moment with my baby here.