Eccedentesiast || Bang Chan

15

"Whoah, what's up? Chan-hyung just can't stop smiling." Hyunjin asked, finding himself smiling too. For some reason the practice room seemed brighter than usual and the atmosphere was light unlike the one filled with pressure.

For the entire day, the leader of Stray Kids was in a good mood and just couldn't stop smiling. How could he not smile? Memories of last night lived in his mind vividly, rent free. The lips of his lover on his is something he loved. He loves her and it was damn obvious.

"Dani probably happened." Minho said, rolling his eyes. "So what? Did you two do it?" He asked, finally finding interest in teasing his dear leader.

"What? N-no!" A tint of reds and pinks painted Chan's cheeks. He  found his heart beat rise and his heart rammed against his chest as his imagination quickly drifted off to an imaginary situation wherein they do the deed. He blinked once... And twice.... And thrice... Before he managed to forcefully oull his mind away from that thought.  "I wouldn't, not until she's ready and not before I introduce her to my parents." He mumbled, realizing how much he wants her to be permanent in his future. It was like he already couldn't imagine a life without her. He thanked his school forcing him to volunteer at the orphanage.

"Yahhhh, Chan-hyung is smitten!" Jisung cheered.

"Invite her over to the dorm sometime. It's not like our manager doesn't know." Minho said. "Been a while since we saw her."

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I worked behind the counter, taking orders from people for 7 hours straight now. The fragrance of coffee in this cozy coffee shop usually kept me up and enough to work for long shifts. But the stress from working jobs after jobs was taking its toll on me.

I skipped meals, I had no sleeps, I didn't take bathroom breaks... I'm in total bad shape. I noticed I lost a significant amount of weight because now I had to wear my belts tighter... I also noticed the dark bags which decorated the spot under my eyes. My complexion became a disgusting unhealthy pale color.... But what bothered me the most is the excruciating head aches I suppress with the help of over the counter medication. I guess it was because of the lack of sleep and the constant having to to deal with unruly customers but now I was getting concerned because of the constant almost unbearable pain.

"Your shift is done, you can grab some cake over there for your siblings if you want." The owner said, while she tied the apron around her waist and took her spot behind the counter. "Oh and get one for yourself to eat. I need you to be healthy." She smiled.

"Thanks... I'll take three slices of moist chocolate cake then." I said, not even bothering to smile anymore. My mood has been getting worse each day because of how sick I felt.

After wrapping up the cake, I removed my apron, wore my hoodie and went home to drop the cake before I went to my grave yard shift in the convenience store.

My routine seemed to just be me working from 6 am to 2 pm in a restaurant... Then 3 to 7 pm... Then 8 pm till 4 am.... Then I sleep for a few hours and then the cycle repeats.

I've tried calling my mother's phone number millions of times, I texted her, begging her to come back and at least see my siblings but as usual. Calls and messages didn't go through. I also left a bunch of messages on my mother's old social media hoping she would open those and read it but till now, all those messages remained unseen...

Sometimes, when I truly missed a mother figure, I would leave messages there, treating it as if it was my diary. I used to tell her how my day went, used to tell her what I'm having for dinner. But there really were no replies. I didn't know where she is, how she's doing... Maybe she has a new family? Or maybe she's dead? I didn't know.

I also tried calling my siblings' dad. But similar to our mother, the calls went to voicemail.

"Sis! You're back!" Jiyeon cheered as she watched me enter the flat. "Jihoon just made dinner! We should eat together!" She smiled.

"Yeah it's been a while since we ate together." Jihoon smiled, getting another plate for me.

I wanted to sit down and eat with them but unfortunately, I was running late for my third job. "Sister is sorry... I'm late for my other job." I grimaced.

"Oh..." My little sister, obviously dejected, kept her silence and just started eating, not looking at me. "Be safe then." She said.

"As an apology, I brought home some cake." I put the box down. "You two eat it after dinner alright?"

"Yea..." Jihoon said..

I felt bad for not spending time with my siblings but I know I'm doing this for them. I know they understand too. I hope they do...
Not even spending five minutes at home, I left again to get to my next job. But first, I stopped by a pharmacy.

"Hello, how may I help you?" The lady asked.

"A bottle of Ibuprofen please." I said.

Just as I was about to pay for the medicine, I felt my hand tense up as if I was having muscle contractions. Embarrassingly, I involuntarily threw the money at the lady. "I... i'm... I'm sorry..." I struggled to say. "My  body really hurts after working today..." I said.

Thankfully the lady was nice and in fact she looked really concerned. "Are you sure you only need Ibuprofen? You should go to the hospital." She told me, handing me the bottle of pills I so badly needed

"Thank you for the advice." I smiled before leaving.

Of course at the convenience store, there were a lot of troublesome customers. The list includes four highschool boys trying to buy liquor, saying they were of age. Another customer is a drunk business man who kept on yelling at me because of "capitalism". Another customer is a bitch who just enjoyed watching people suffer. To say my headache hurt was an understatement. It felt like I was dying. I took a couple of Ibuprofen at the time, forcing my pain down. But nothing was happening.

I wanted to bang my head on the counter.

I sat down with my head on my hand for the most part when there were no customers. But when my shift ended, I dashed home to get some sleep.

My siblings were huddled on the bed, sleeping peacefully under the covers. I took the futon and pillow then laid it on the floor for me to sleep on. But before that, I downed a few more pills of ibuprofen then passed out.