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"Hey you should join the mixer tonight!"

"Not interested..."

I rolled my eyes again for the nth time today because for some reason, my friends desperately want me to get together with someone. But really, I don't need that.

"Come on, just come with us please?" Yonhee, my bestfriend in college pleaded.

"Girl, I need to study for the midterms." I sighed. "Plus, I'm not really a fan of dating." Is what I usually use as an excuse but my grades are topnotch and contrary to what I said... I'm actually already dating someone.

"I'll treat you lunch for a week!" She bargained. It may have sounded tempting for a college student like me who's struggling with money but it is still a no for me.

"Go find someone else."

"Urgh, what would it take for you to go and have fun? You don't go on parties, mixers and events." She frowned, walking off the her desk.

Hi, i'm this boring girl with a boring face and boring fashion that you would see in colleges. My name's Song Dani, a 21 year old majoring in education. So far, I'm the top of my batch and I'm heavily buried in debts. I study in the morning and work the graveyard shift at a nearby convenience store. In my family, I'm the breadwinner, I'm the eldest out of the four of us so I can't expect my parents to pay for all my expenses.

As for my love life... nothing much... Is what I would like to say. But here I am, secretly dating a hot as fuck idol. Sometimes I think I'm still dreaming. But I'm not because when I close my eyes, I remember little moments we spent together in secret.

But here's the sad part... I have never experienced a movie date or a stroll in a park... Nothing. We don't want to jeopardize his career so the closest thing we have to a formal date is a home made dinner by him inside my apartment.

The day seemed to run very fast today, maybe because it's friday. But I wasn't complaining because this week has been very dreadful. Now, I just wanted to lay down and sleep all my worries away. This week, I had to reschedule numerous mental breakdowns because I had way too many papers to finish while I worked at night. Many times, I just wanted to crawl into a corner and cry but really, rescheduling mental breakdowns is such a norm for college students.

"Alright! Don't forget to turn in your papers before 12 midnight!" Was the last thing our instructor said before he carried his books and left.

Just as he did so, my bestfriend went to me and started bugging me once again about the mixer going on tonight. "Dani, I swear you're going to like this guy. He's intelligent, nice and well off!" She listed. "He's the type of guy you'd want your mom to meet!"

I scoffed if only she knew...

"Nope. I'm finalizing my papers tonight." I packed my bag and walked out.

To be really honest, I already submitted my papers yesterday so I had no plans for the rest of the day. But I still decided to head home and maybe call the guy I missed the most. Let's see... The last time we had a video call was last week... We texted but not really. We just remember to bid each other a good morning and if we're busy, we'd at least wish each other goodnight.

Alright. So who's the guy i'm dating in secret?

He's none other than the leader of Stray Kids, Bang Chan.

I know!
How did we meet?!
How did we start dating?!
How did we become a thing?!
How long has this been going?!
There's so many questions!!

Well, we met when he was still just a trainee and we were both in highschool. We met at an orphanage, not the most romantic but definitely something memorable. I was already a regular volunteer worker there and I visit to teach and play with the children every weekend but then he volunteered for a school requirement. He had to finish a hundred hours of volunteer work. I was already close with the children and I'm originally liked by kids because I'm a sister of two kids but he was different. He looked cold and intimidating that kids would often cry when he picks them up even though he has two younger siblings back at Australia.

One break time later, he came to me asking for some advice. That's when we kind of teamed up together when dealing with children. We read story books to children and while I acted as red riding hood, he was the big bad wolf! While I was goldilocks, he was the big papa bear! While I was Rapunzel, he was the prince that climbed the tower... We spent time 5 hours every weekends together and naturally became closer to the point that we would eat streetfoods after classes, his treat of course. We would also meet up on the weekdays to think about new games and activities for the children.

We kept in contact all those years but when he debuted, we stopped seeing each other and talking to each other. I was sad at first, I thought he forgot about the friendship we had... It kinda stung in the chest specially since I developed admiration and crush on him all those years. I liked everything about him but a JYP trainee dating? Never heard of that. So I kept it in. Another couple years later, mid 2019, he was having a hard time... Due to some member leaving his group... He miraculously contacted me after almost two years of silence. He asked to meet me at the back alley ramyun house we often ate at since it was cheap and not a lot of people went there except for some elder peeps.

It was kind of awkward... But all tense atmosphere dissipated when he hugged me and started sobbing. He was so depressed, scared and anxious when this guy left his group. He felt responsible and terrible... One thing was on my mind that one 1am morning. He didn't change. He's still the same soft Bang Chan I knew. He simply distanced himself away from me because.... Ps this is where he started to spill his fillings for me... As I was saying... He simply distanced himself from me because he was on a dating ban and he was scared that if he kept in contact with me, he wouldn't be able to stop himself and it might harm his group's career.

He's really that same responsible, kind, intelligent, thoughtful guy I knew.

"I like you... Ever since I first saw you at the orphanage..." Were his exact words that I could never forget.
"I hope you feel the same way because... I... I'd love to see what my future looks like with you."

At that time, I was at a loss for words. What do I say to that cute ass confession of his?! What did he even see in me?! I'm the most ordinary girl out there!! But I nodded and tears ran down my cheeks and I told him that "I like you too... I thought you forgot me."
Then he hugged me for the second time that night.

Fast forward to now, we still haven't gone on a movie date. :/

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