Secretly known

27

Elli's POV

I feel a sense of peace and my feeling of being tired has somehow faded away. How? Did I fall asleep? Am I asleep right now? My eyes slowly starting to open answer that question. Though, the light is too bright, which is why I close them again. Memories of the moments before I fell asleep come flooding back to my mind. I wrote a song with Reggie.

He knows about my songs. I never imagined someone else knowing, especially not Reggie. He even went to go get a guitar and played and sang the song. It was soothing. I really needed that and I'm extremely thankful for him doing all of that.

That is when I realise that I'm still in the same position I fell asleep in. My head is still somehow resting on Reggie's shoulder. He didn't move my head. Did he not mind? I can't imagine that being a comfortable position.

I certainly enjoyed being close to him. I still do and honestly right now, I don't really care about the fact that I don't know how I can touch him without going through him. I'm just happy I can. It does make my heart beat like a rapidly spreading thunder, though. I'm not even sure if that makes sense, but it's the only way I can describe it.

After finally open my eyes for good, I see that Reggie is awake as well. I wonder if he was able to sleep. Again, I don't think that was or is a comfortable position. But he would have woken me if it was too uncomfortable, right? I hope so. I don't want to make him feel that way. I just want to make him happy.

Yesterday he made me happy.

He made me take a break which I now admit I really needed.

"Good morning sunshine", he says as soon as he realises I'm awake.

Did he just call me sunshine? Sunshine? That's so sweet. No one has ever called me sunshine before. I never knew a simple word like that could make me feel like... like this. Butterflies erupt in my stomach. A smile becomes visible on my face.

"Good morning to you too", I softly reply, smile remaining on my face.

I debate on whether to leave my head resting on his shoulder or to properly sit up while I see him also smiling at me. I think he is enjoying this as well.

It's not long before a wave of panic hits me once again. I didn't come home last night. Dad must be worried out of his mind. What if he thinks I ran away, too? Well, we don't know if Julie ran away, but that's not the point. How could I've been so stupid to fall asleep on a beach? I should've gone home.

After coming to that realisation, I am no longer seated on the sand next to Reggie. Whilst panicking I jump up, grabbing my notebook.

Reggie is quick to follow me, taking hold of my hands and turning me to face him. I explain to him, why I'm reacting the way I'm reacting, but he doesn't let go of my hands.

"Don't worry about that. Your Dad knows where we are. He knows where you are."

I give him a questioning look. How could my Dad know where we are? He seems to notice my confusion.

"After writing that song last night, I saw how tired you are. So, I had a feeling you might fall asleep and when I went to go get Luke's guitar, I made a quick stop to tell your Dad. He was completely fine with it because he knew and knows you needed the break. He also told me he's worried about you, but doesn't quite know how to approach you. You don't need to worry about that".

He squeezes my hands at that.

So, Dad isn't mad at me? Thank god.

Speaking of the devil, that exact moment I get a text from him, saying he's gonna bake something and that he made an appointment for me. An appointment to go see Dr Turner. Maybe that isn't a too bad of an idea. Who knows, maybe it'll help me with controlling my emotions better.

Why is he telling me about him baking something? I don't know. He possibly just wants to distract himself to avoid dealing with the Julie situation. He must be really exhausted himself. I'm worried about him. He already lost his wife and now his daughter is gone. And I thought it was hard for me...

"Thank you, Reg. Thank you for making me feel better", I don't even realise calling him by a nickname. I hope he doesn't mind, but by the look of his face I don't think he does. He is smiling brightly at me like it's the best thing he has heard in a while.

"You're very welcome. I'd do it all over again if I could and I will if I need to."

That statement makes me laugh. But not out of silliness or something like that. It's because of the pure spark that second sentence sends through me.

"Do you want to head back to your place?"

I agree and he lets go of one of my hands that he was still holding but puts my right hand in his left one. I don't think that smile is leaving my face any time soon.

On our way back home I notice I'm still wearing his leather jacket. The one I've been dreaming of since the first time I met him. Honestly, I don't even want to give that back to him. If it was up to me I'd never give it back again, but I also know I can't take away his signature item. I really can't. As much as I love the feeling of it on me, it'll never beat the feeling of me seeing him wearing it.

So, I soak in that feeling for as long as I possibly can. As long as we're on our way home.

A little while goes by and we enter the kitchen.

Reggie never let go of my hand on our way here.

This boy is really making this hard for me.

"Hey, you're here. Now you can help me bake", he turn to us probably not expecting Reggie to be here as well, so he adds, "You too, Reggie". That obviously has to be a joke knowing Reggie wouldn't be much of a help considering him being a ghost and all.

As another joke he takes a cooking hat and throws it at Reggie who started laughing as it starts flying towards him. Both of them think it's going to go right through him. They are both mistaken.

It hits him right in the face.

Dad bursts out laughing, but I have a feeling he doesn't exactly find this funny. Neither do I to be honest. That should not have happened.

"It literally never ends. Something is always happening", he says as he walks away.

Reggie and I are left looking at each other.

I don't think either of us know what to do right now. First, I can touch Reggie and now he can touch and come in contact with other stuff. This is kinda freaking me out. Dad is right, it literally never stops.

"Hey Elli, I wanna go test a theory"

Together, we walk out of the house again. As we do so, I get a glimpse of the calendar. Julie's birthday is in two weeks. Is that why Dad wanted to bake something? He probably saw that too and couldn't get it out of his head.

I won't be able to do that either.

Reggie goes to test his theory and I go to my appointment with Dr Turner.

At least I know, what I'll be talking about in the session.