Phantom Love

Chapter 20

       I lower my head until my forehead is resting on the table and let out a long groan. Izzy has a lot more people than I thought and while most of them are truly wonderful individuals, there are a few who seem to have hidden their darkness well away from prying eyes. It's not something you can hide from me though. A lot of people here have never come in contact with a witch due to how secretive they are. Many don't know what aura reading is, so no one is bothering to guard themselves. Though, to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if you can guard that kind of thing or not. I haven't done enough reading on the subject. 

        Thinking of reading has a rock dropping into the bottom of my stomach and settling in. I know our main reason for coming here was that book so I could figure out where I came from and all of that but I've seen the memories from the time before I was the person I am now and that terrifies me. Who was I before I was ripped out of my own body and thrust into the place between worlds? Am I still that same person? Can I still be who I was while also being a completely different person with their own learned experiences? 

        "What if I was a horrible person?" I whisper out loud, unable to keep the question in.

        "Oh deary," Miriam says as she sets a new cup of tea in front of me, "Everybody is a horrible person at one point in their life, whether they realize it or not. It's impossible to be good all the time. Want to know what I think? I think that whoever you were before all of this happened to you, probably did the best she could given the circumstances she was in." Her eyes shift to the back patio door and she sighs, "We all have to live with the dark parts of ourselves every once and a while. The only thing that truly matters is who you are when you come out the other end."

        I blink back tears at the truth in her words. Every single one of my men out there have stared their own darkness in the face and come out better because of it. I will do the same. I may have been hurt but I can choose compassion over revenge. Just because I was hurt doesn't mean I have to hurt others, instead I can work to ensure no one has to hurt the way I was. With the new assurance running through my veins I stand up and envelop Miriam in a tight hug. 

        "Thank you, Miriam." I whisper in her ear. 

        "It's no problem, dear." She says placing a palm against my cheek, "Now, you have a few more of these interviews left before you guys will be heading off to the library." 

        "Are you sure you're okay with this takeover of your home?" I ask. 

        I had asked earlier before we started but I really need to make sure. She has shown me such wonderful hospitality and kindness that I fear taking advantage of her without even realizing it.

        "It was getting too quiet in this big house with just Selena and I." She says with a smile, "And now not only do I have a new daughter but my other daughter now has a group of women who I know will love and cherish her." 

        I groan internally at the lack of progress on the get Miriam some mates plan. So far no one has stood out and, not going to lie, I'm getting super fucking impatient. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a small section of the population of the world and I have the rest of her life to scour every inch of this planet until I find her the happiness I have. It's the least I can do seeing as she birthed one of the beings that brings me such joy. 

        I give her hand that still rests on my face a squeeze before she pulls away and I settle back down into the chair. The next few members of the order that come in aren't any sort of threat and I make note of their strengths in character before sending them out back to be assessed by my guys. Knowing that this is the last interview of the day I let out a sigh and straighten up in my chair as the last, and therefore lowest ranking, member of the order comes through the door and settles in across from me.