My One And Only

Chapter 22

Jess POV

I slowly open my eyes to see Eva and Anna both of them holding one of my hands.

"E-Eva" I say slowly

"Bub" she says and squeezes my hand lightly

"Wh- Where am I" I ask

"Your in hospital" Anna says

That's when it hits me.

I remember taking all those pills and stupidly cutting myself.

"I'm so sorry" I say

"It's not your fault Bub" Eva says reassuringly

"It is though if I'd of just taken my fucking meds none of us would be here right now"

"You can't blame yourself Jess you can't help what you were feeling and that you were having those thoughts" Anna says and I smile slightly at her

"How are you feeling now" Eva asks "my leg hurts a lot"

Just then a nurse walks in with someone that looks like a therapist.

Great.

"Ahh your awake how are we feeling" the nurse asks

"My leg hurts and I'm tired"

"Yes that's understandable now what we are going to do is keep you in for tonight but you can go in the morning" "okay"

"On your meds how many times were you taking them" she asks

"Once but they didn't feel like they were working anymore that's why I stopped taking them and-" I say but stop myself from saying the last part, I was going to say I didn't want to rely on my meds for happiness but I know that if this was a therapist in here with the nurse she would be quickly piping up to say something.

"Right okay I'm going to say take them twice a day and don't forget"

"We'll remind her to take them" Eva says

"Thank you, now Jess this is Fiona and we are going to reccomend that you go weekly to see her for therapy.

Knew she was a fucking therapist.

"Do I have to go" I say sighing

"No but I would recommend coming Jessica you seem in say somewhat bad state" this Fiona women says

God I don't like her already.

"But I've had one bad episode and then told to go to therapy" I argue

"Jessica you tried to commit suicide I feel that's a pretty big thing" Fiona says

I look at Eva and she rubs her thumb across my hand.

"Maybe you should go bub even if it's just once" she says

Fuck maybe I should I need to be better for Eva's sake well everyone else at nach aswell I can't have them having to look after me I'm 18 I should be able to look after myself.

"Okay I'll come next week" I say

"Great now I want you to remember the meds will take a few days until you start to feel the effect but if you are feeling anything talk to someone don't bottle it up" she says and I roll my eyes

"Jess don't be rude" Eva says

"Sorry I've just heard that about a million times and I hate talking about my feelings"

"Yes but rem-" "it's better to talk about your feelings rather than bottle them up" I say finishing off her sentence

"Well yes that is exactly what I was about to say" "I might aswell be a therapist at this rate" I say and Anna and Eva laugh slightly

"Now I'll see you next week Jessica" Fiona says before leaving the room

The nurse also leaves and it was just me, Eva ad Anna.

"God I don't want to go to fucking therapy" I groan

"It can't be so bad" Eva says

"I don't think you would be saying that if you'd been going most of your teenage years" I say annoyance in my voice

Shit it's not her fault she didn't know.

---

Eva POV

"Do you guys want any food" Anna asks "yeah but like the food at hospitals is shit so probably not" Jess says

"I could go get Don's and then sneak it in here" Anna suggests "good idea" Jess says agreeing "sounds good"

Anna leaves and it's just me and Jess.

"Baby I'm sorry for getting annoyed at you earlier about therapy" Jess says

"Hey you don't need to apologise I think I'd be annoyed if I'd been to therapy most of my teenage years"

She grabs my hand and squeezes it and I se a tear roll down her cheek.

"Hey don't cry" I say wiping her tears away

"I just feel bad I'm now putting you through this"

"Your not putting me through anything Jess and I promise I'm going to be here for you" I say and kiss her forehead

"Thank you baby and just so you know I'm always here for you" She says and I smile

"God I just want to get out of here" She says sighing "I know you do but we can in the morning" I say reassuringly

10 minutes later Anna walks in with Don's .

"Thank you" me and Jess both say as Anna passes us our food.

We start eating.

"Shit have you spoken to my mum" Jess asks

"Yeah we did but she couldn't come as she had to sort something regarding your dad" I say and Jess doesn't say anything

"You okay" Anna asks "oh yeah fine but um how are the others" She says changing the subject

"They're worried about you and miss you loads the house isn't the same without you around" I say

"Well I miss them all too" she says

We finish eating and then Jess falls asleep.

I look at her sleeping peacefully and a tear falls down my cheek, she doesn't deserve anything that she's going through.

"She's going to get through this you know" Anna says "I know it's just hard knowing she's feeling what she's feeling no one deserves to feel like that especially not Jess" I sniff

"I know but like I say she'll come back stronger" "Yeah she will" I say agreeing with her

Me and Anna eventually end up falling asleep.