𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜. | 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ✓

• 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 •

𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 | 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫: 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

     Laying on my bed made me feel like a corpse. It was as if the duvet itself was slowly devouring my entire body as I felt my weight being pulled down even more. Along with that weight was my chest— It hurt like hell. Am I seriously going to cry over those three words?

     I shed a single tear.

     Looking at the digital clock sitting comfortably on my bedside table, it said "3:03" in the morning.

     The silence was deafening, you could hear a needle drop and it would still be loud.

     Grabbing the diary yet once again, I started to write,

     "Can you leave?"

He was just tired, I hope he doesn't mean that. I'm thinking too much, and I really am getting sick of being like this.

     I heard footsteps walking towards my front door so I quickly hid the notebook under my pillow. I was about to meet Tommy at the doorway but as soon as I stood up, those footsteps walked away.

     I mean, why would he visit me in my room at three in the morning, right?

     Despite knowing that Tommy walked away from my doorstep, I still opened the door and I saw him leaning against the wooden railing not far away from me.

     "[y/n]..." He sighed, smiling. It was as if he was relieved to see me up.

     "What brings you here?" I asked him in a whisper. "You should go. I know you want some time to be alone." I snapped, hinting at what he said a little while back.

     "No, it's not that," He said. With both of his hands in the pockets of his shorts, he leaned his head back to look at the empty ceiling.

     I stared at him. The way his shadow accentuates his jawline, making him look more attractive than he already was.

     "I'm just.. tired. I'm tired to be alone in my room playing the same game every day with thousands of people watching— Some of which are super judgmental. My views are going down and I don't know why. I did everything I could but it didn't work." He slid down to the smooth wooden floor. "I'm tired. I need... someone, I guess."

     I slowly closed the door behind me. So he was just tired all along.

     I slowly sat on the floor right beside him. "Well, you have me," I smiled weakly at him. "To be honest I didn't like what you said to me a few hours ago."

     "Oh, yeah," He placed his arm on his knee, "That one. I'm sorry about that."

     It was yet another silence between us. I scanned his face— Those eyes that I have been mesmerized at were in a darker shade of blue. Under those eyes were slightly grey circles, and that's probably the result of editing videos every single day. Those smooth, pinkish lips of his that I got used to kissing were now drier and paler. His acne had gotten worse, he focused more on his career than himself.

     I didn't utter a single word. Instead, I hugged him. He must've been surprised, he was caught off guard by my hug so he fell in his back, making me fall on top of him.

     I heard his small laugh. "Woah, hold on." He said and wrapped an arm around my waist. "This is awkward, innit?"

     "No. No, it's not." I muttered. My face was buried in the crook of his neck while I was wrapping my arms around him.

     We stayed being in that position for a few minutes. I felt like everything was revolving around us and I loved that. We shared body warmth in an attempt to block out the cold weather outside and before I pulled away, he squeezed me a little before letting go of me.

     "Maybe you should go back to your room, Tommy," We both sat up. "I know you're gonna be streaming early in the morning tomorrow."

     "Alright, then.." He shrugged. Bummer, I legitimately thought that he was going to sleep in my room with me tonight.

     He stood up and held out a hand for me to use. "Sorry for the quick rant," He said as he helped me stand up.

     "It's fine." I smiled and before I could walk away, he slowly grabbed my wrist and that made me turn my head towards him.

     "Hold on," He said and stepped closer to me. Before I could process what was going on, He placed a hand on the side of my neck and slowly kissed my forehead. "There you go."

     A swarm of butterflies filled my stomach in an instant, which left me speechless. "Goodnight, Tomathy." I rolled my eyes playfully and we both parted ways in the hallway to go into our separate rooms.

     And despite knowing that this happened early in the morning, I still felt something off. Maybe something is going to happen in a few hours while we're streaming and I don't know why.

     But whatever it is, I hope it wouldn't ruin my entire day.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Oh look who fell asleep yet again while writing 🤠 (I write at like 1 - 4 am, and publish it whenever I finish)

VOTE! ⭐
COMMENT! 💬
FOLLOW! 👥
     for a free taco

886 words