•Chapter 42•

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Shawn Mendes
When she didn't respond, and I noticed her twitch slightly, I knew she hadn't heard me.
My heart sank.
It was a spur of the moment thing, but I meant it.
I meant it with everything in me.
There was no one else I wanted to be with.
Not now.

When I woke up that morning Elara was already up.
I walked into the kitchen and watched for a moment as she cooked breakfast wearing only her underwear and one of my tops, playing slow music and swaying from side to side.
Frances was staring at her in adoration.
Her eyes were trained on her mother and she would giggle every now and then.
My heart filled with love for the pair.

"Daddy" Frances said and clapped her hands and I knew my time of watching was over.
"Oh hey." Elara said and turned to me, her cheeks rosy.
I walked over and kissed her slowly, wrapping an arm around her.
"Daddy!" Frances said louder now and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Yes yes ok." I smiled and picked her up from her chair.
As I picked her up she wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her nose to mine.
"I think that's her sign of affection." Elara giggled and I nodded.
Frances kept her nose on mine for a good few seconds before resting her head on my shoulder.

"Elara I need to talk to you about something." I said and she nodded.
I noticed the worried look on her face and I knew it would just be best not to sugar coat it.
"I'm releasing an album." I said and my heart swelled for the second time that morning as her eyes lit up.
"Oh my god that's amazing!" She said and kissed my cheek before pecking my lips.
"Thank you. Of course you'll be the first to listen." I winked and she grinned.
"Well I wouldn't expect any less." She giggled but then I watched as it dawned on her.
Yet as her face fell, I almost felt glad that I didn't have to say it.
"Wait, but a new album, means a new tour." She said quietly before looking up at me. "Are you going on tour?"
She kept her eyes locked with mine as I nodded slowly.
Almost as soon as my heart had risen, it was now dropping to my stomach as tears welled in her eyes.
"Please don't cry." I said and opened my spare arm for her to walk in to.

She walked into my arm and I held both of my girls.
Elara cried against my chest and Frances fidgeted in my other arm.
"Sad." Frances said and Elara looked up at her and pressed her nose against our baby's.
"I'm ok baby." Elara whispered but I knew it wasn't true.
"I'm sorry." I said.
I was preparing my speech in my head but was shocked when I saw her smiling at me.
"Why on Earth are you sorry? Shawn I'm so proud of you." She cried and I frowned.
"Then why-"
"Because I'll miss you more than anything. And Frances will miss you." She said and I nodded.
"Why don't we sit and properly talk?" I said and it was her turn to nod.

As we sat down on the couch, Frances crawled to play with her toys on her mat in-front of the Tv  and I pulled Elara into my lap.
"Talk to me."
"I-I just have a lot to say."
"Lay it on me."
"Shawn I, I'm just worried about Frances. I want you to have a proper relationship with her and leaving for almost a year is going to take it's toll on her, and you. Then for selfish reasons, I don't want you to go. You're my world now." She cried and I struggled not to cry myself.
"Ok. I-"
"But I'm not stopping you. Please don't think I am!" She rushed and I smiled before pecking her lips.
"I know. And I love you for that. So, I've thought about the possibility of you guys coming with me?"
"You know we can't. I really wanted to start taking her to a baby group." She sighed and I nodded.
"No I know. So the next idea, was that you guys could fly out as a holiday. Maybe just for a few days or a week?" I said and I watched a faint smile appear on her face.
"That would work."
"And I'm going to come and look at baby groups with you before I leave. And it starts next March so you'll have graduated by then." I explained and she sniffed back her tears.

She nodded a few times before looking up at me with her lips pouted.
"I'll miss you so much."
"I'll miss you too. But I promise it'll all be ok."

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