•Chapter 29•

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Elara Beck
"Would you like a drink?"
"Sure. Thank you."

I sat on the couch while Shawn was in the kitchen making us both a drink.
My heart was pounding away in my chest and I knew it was from the tension that was present between us. It had been there ever since we had agreed to try and build up a relationship.
It was there in the taxi ride back to his house as our hands intertwined with each other but we said nothing.
We didn't have to say anything.

He placed a glass on the table in front of me before sitting down beside me.
He had undone some of the buttons on his shirt so his chest was revealed, and I couldn't help but look.
He smiled and turned his face to me.
"Like it?"
"Hm, nothing I haven't seen before." I shrugged and dipped on my drink.
"Wow." He scoffed and I giggled lightly as I shook my head. "Come here."
I looked up from my hands and looked up to him.
"Hm?"
"Come here." He said again and opened his arms.
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because why?"
"Because I want a cuddle ok? So, please, come here." He said and I laughed before setting my drink down and shuffled over to him.

I straddled his thighs and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulled myself close to him and rested my head in the crook of his neck.
As I felt him wrap his arms around me I felt safe. I felt cared for and looked after. I felt in that moment that he wouldn't let anything bad happen.
I felt his heartbeat against my own chest and I knew he could feel mine.
The moment felt so gentle and loving and I felt that it was all genuine.
I never thought I'd get this with him.
I always assumed he would leave and wouldn't want the responsibility of being a father. I assumed he would be dating someone and wouldn't want me. I assumed he would be dismissive.
But how wrong I was.
He was so loving and kind and took care of both Frances and I.
We could share moments like these together because he wanted to be cuddled and loved.
He might have been a sex god on stage, but here with me, he was soft and like an extremely tall teddy bear.
And I couldn't deny in my heart that there was an overload of feelings for him that I had only realised in the past week.

I pulled my head up to look at him and immediately I smiled.
"What?" He said and I sighed.
"You're everything aren't you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're so unbelievably perfect. You're an amazing performer and so amazingly confident on stage. Yet you're here with me now wanting a cuddle. You've taken me and Frances on and I'm aware we're a handful, and you take care of us better than I could have ever done on my own. I feel so grateful to have you Shawn. I hope you know that." I said and I noticed that his eyes were glossy as tears started to spill over.
I smiled and wiped away his tears with my thumbs.
He hugged me again and rested his head on my chest as he sniffled. I ran my hands through his hair and kissed the top of his head.
"What's wrong?"  I laughed and he wiped away the last of his tears.
"I never thought I'd be in this position. I have an amazing career, amazing supporters and though I've had to postpone the tour to next year, I've been given a beautiful baby girl. And you. Yes you're a handful and sometimes you're crazy." He said and I hit his chest a few times.
He held my wrists and moved me so I was lying down on the couch with him hovering above me.
"But, you're beautiful and you're smart. And you do such an amazing job with Frances. I'm lucky that you're the mother of my daughter." He said and I smiled as he brought his head down to kiss me quickly.
I untucked his shirt from his trousers and undid the rest of the buttons as he slid the shirt off.
He grinned and kissed my neck before meeting my eyes.
"So, a sibling for Frances?" He winked and my eyes went wide.
"No. Hell no. I'm very happy to do the sex part but not the baby part so, protection here we come!" I said and he threw his head back in laughter.
"You're crazy."
"But you like it."
"I certainly do." He said before leaning his head down to kiss me.

It was a kiss of love. I could feel it. We wanted to be together. And though we hadn't made anything official, and I wasn't sure if I loved him yet, I knew that we could be official and I definitely could love him. It wouldn't be hard. I was already halfway there.

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