unfortunate. | 연준 √

thirty-four

"I don't know what you've been told,
but I am not your enemy."
- Kali Uchis, "Dead To Me"

The book tells me one thing today: Make things right with the girl who made things wrong. The only girl who fits this title (that I know of-) is Sana. So, I venture out. Just so you know, we're rushing. My placement of time is altered so much, even Ho Seok doesn't know. Things will be rushed once we reach the climax, considering that I don't even know what's ahead. All I know currently is to not become Sana's enemy... even if she is mine.

I also think she's two-faced. Her emotions are swayed by the tides, yet she can be my enemy one day and love me another. I only believe the hot-headed one, though.

I make it to Sana's house- where I see Sana and her mother talking. Like the nosy girl I am, I hide and listen in.

"M-Mom, I really don't want to keep doing this-"

"You must overthrow him, Sana!" She yells at her, slapping her daughter straight across the face. Sana chokes out a sob, holding her reddened cheek as she gazes fire at her mother. "You are useless to them. If you show your power, nobody will fear you and you can take over. Without me, you would have nothing. Now, you must go steal those papers. We will tear the contract since the Wang has died- and I can be let into the palace again!"

"Mom, the Wangseja knows well of what happened now... He's been studying these papers recently. I can't just simply-"

"Just do as I say or I will disown you! You are useless, worthless... nothing without me as your mother. I should've killed you a long time ago!"

Gosh damn. Her mother has definitely forced her into a sea of guilt- I only pity her for having such a selfish mother like Madaam over there. So scary, I want to beat her up with my sword. "What are you-" I cover the mouth of the person behind me, turning around to see a wide-eyed Chanyeol. That's not all- Seungcheol, Eunwoo, and Yeonjun follow him, wide-eyed as they listen in just as I was.

"Be quiet," I hush, making the four princes nod.

"Mom, this is wrong. We can't steal fortune forever! We will have bad karma later on in life if the palace turns to ruins! I've been doing the best I can to provide well for us as the Gongju of Joseon, so please just trust me-"

"T-Trust you?! Trust...! You!?" Her mother scoffs, crossing her arms. "Who will ever believe you with these lies. You've stolen from the palace. You've committed crimes such as letting hellish people leave without supervision! Y-You are the bad person! Not me, you! You think you can always do as you please!?"

"People stutter when they lie sometimes," I whisper, shaking my head as the boys keep listening in. "How obvious."

"Mom, it's because you tell me to-" Sana whines, but her mother isn't buying it. While all five of us know both are the true antagonists to this game of pawns, yet I, myself, can't help but pity a girl who deserves not even the slightest of it. She'll be punished according to the law now that Yeonjun's overheard everything. Both of them will be banished from the palace.

"I should've been in your place. I should've killed the Wangbi a long time ago to marry the King! I should've stolen everything from him and reined myself!" Her mother acts manically, scaring the hell out of me. I feel like my soul left my body. Such a mother acts so disrespectfully to her daughter... why I might just-!

"You shouldn't talk to her that way," Eunwoo's voice resounds from the front garden, both women flinching as they look our way. Five people against two, Sana's mother bows, getting on her knees. "It's all Sana's fault. I did nothing!" Her mother tries to play the victim card, probably thinking we didn't hear the whole thing play out like that.

Sana tries to plead, but Yeonjun steps in front of us, his hand holding almighty power as he enters their house. We follow behind him like shy folk, looking at each other to see what the upcoming King might do.

"Please, stand up," He tells Sana's mother, who flies back up with her head low. Sana has tears flowing down her face, holding her head as she's ready to faint. "We heard everything, Ma'am. Please do not try to blame this on your daughter whilst you've done much more pain to us and her."

"B-But-"

"Hyung, please call the guards to search the house of any jewelry and anything that belongs to the palace," Turning to Seungcheol, he nods, running off to get the guards. Sana's mother gets on the ground in regret once more, pulling on Yeonjun's robe. 

"Please, Wangseja! Please forgive me and do not take our things. It really isn't my fault, your father did everything to hate me, strike me, whatnot-"

"Do not fill the tales of anyone's mind with these jealous lies, Ma'am!" Yeonjun roars, fists clenched and tight. "You've done more than wrong. Both you and your daughter have. While I will not banish you from your lives here, you must move farther away from the palace at once."

"Yes, Mama."

"And one more thing... your daughter will never be able to enter palace grounds again."

Even I was shocked by this outcome despite knowing it beforehand. Both of them gasp, the two crying and begging as if it was the worst thing in life. In Sana's mind, the palace was an escape from her selfish mother. Yet, to Sana's mother, having Sana being in the palace meant more riches and whatnot. It's horrible.

"Please, Wangseja! Please spare her to stay-"

"You only want her to stay to grab more riches."

"T-That isn't true-"

"And from what I've learned, you stutter when you lie," Yeonjun turns to me, eyes meeting as his grin shows. Yet, turning back, it falters, his eyes full of fire. "Please do not try to redeem yourself through these deceptions. You will only be discouraged by your faults."

Sana's mother was speechless, running out of her house grounds to escape the "pain" of getting told off by the Crown Prince himself. However, Sana turns to us with fire in her eyes as hot tears pour down her face, plummeting towards me as she pushes me to stumble. With the force, I do stumble, yet as she tries to fight me even more, I take out my sword, causing her to stop.

I don't take hits from a flawed "princess." Not her.

"You don't understand what you've just done. You're horrible."

"Aren't you talking about yourself, Sana?" I hiss back, shaking my head. "You know, I terribly pity you even though I shouldn't. Living this life is hard, isn't it? Yet, I've lived in all my life... the hatred you feel from others because of the feelings you've kept in."

"You will never understand the hatred of a mother, will you?" She questions me and I stay silent. "You know, I am a bad person in your story, Youra. You are also the biggest one in mine. Yet, in our collaboration tale, we are both horrible people who traumatize, strike, kill and hurt others. Don't you see that?"

I'm zipped up as my heart turns cold from realization. It is true.

"At least I will never try to live up to expectations. Having such a horrible mother yet you still love her so? I mean, I understand... but can't you see how toxic... how poisonous this type of love is, Sana?! You're crying over her! Over her terrible words... terrible life."

"Love is something one can't control. You shouldn't say how our love is so carelessly when you can't handle your own," She strikes at me, turning to Yeonjun with a smirk. "Love? You both are so careless. One is a King while one is a commoner... what forbidden love that still blinds the mind."

Yeonjun turns to me while I don't dare look at him.

"You both are longing true love. Stop wasting time before you can't be in love any longer." She warns before she stomps off, pushing me by her shoulder.

And with her words, I am stumped by the wall-block. These feelings truly are hurting not only me... but as I turn to Yeonjun, he is in sorrow as well.

I am hurting more than just this world. It feels like I am truly twisting everyone's fate.