Instagram | N.B & D.D

I Hate You

TW: mentions of r*pe, sexual assault, alcohol abuse.

They stood there in silence for a few moments. Their hearts were racing as tears filled both of their eyes. Noah wanted to explain, he just couldn't get a word out which only frustrated Dixie.

Dixie sighed, shutting her eyes and throwing her phone onto the bed. "Was it worth it?"

He shook his head, inching closer to her as he began to cradle her face in his palms. "Stop." She backed away from him, not meeting his intense gaze. His heart broke. "It wasn't worth it, Dix. Listen to-"

"Do I mean nothing to you?" She practically screamed. She was livid and heartbroken. She wanted to forget that this all happened and move on. Maybe it was just a mistake, she thought for a second, attempting to be rational. However, thinking of that picture, the comments, the girl herself—she couldn't shake it off or come to terms to even listen to him.

"You mean everything to me." He cried. "Baby, please look at me."

She looked down at her toes, letting the tears fall freely. She had a headache and her heart was hurting due to suffocation of the pain but she couldn't find a relief. She was too angry, too upset to do so.

"I can't look at you." She whispered. "Why not?" He gently asked.

She let out a shaky breath. "Because if I look at you... I'm going to forget. I'm going to forget that you hurt me and I'm just going to crawl back to you because I love you. Because that's the kind of hold you have on me and I fucking hate it." Suddenly, she looked up at him and saw the shock written all over his face. "I hate that I can't stop loving you and I hate that I don't hate you."

His stomach dropped as his hands began to tremble. He felt terrible as he watched her pace. He's never seen her so angry or so hurt. He knew that he didn't do anything to hurt her intentionally as it was all just one big misunderstanding but he couldn't find the time to tell her as she kept pacing and yelling.

"Why would you do this to me?" She asked, defeated, falling onto the bed. Slowly, he sat next to her, letting her cry on his shoulder.

"It's a whole misunderstanding, baby-"

"I change my mind. I don't want to hear it." She pushed herself off of him, slipping her shoes on. She was in sweatpants and one of his t-shirts but she didn't care. She didn't want to be near him.

He followed after her to the door. "Where are you going?" He asked, teary-eyed. She whipped her body around to face him. "I just want to be alone. Please. Can I do that? Can I be alone?" She was frustrated and Noah knew that. He nodded and let her go.

He was worried but he knew that she needed to calm herself down before ever hearing him out. They would get through this, he knew they would. However, it didn't ease the painful squeezing in his chest as he hugged himself in bed, wishing that she was right next to him.

Dixie didn't know where she was going but she followed her feet and let them wander wherever. She was in a resort so she knew that she couldn't get lost. She spotted the bar that looked familiar from the picture where Noah was spotted kissing that girl. It made her feel disgusted and betrayed but she went to it anyway, thinking a drink wouldn't hurt. She sat at the bar with tear stained cheeks and her face covered with sunglasses although it was nighttime to hide herself from fans.

In just an hour, she was already tipsy. She wasn't drunk. She had self control and didn't want to drink more than she already had so instead she kept on walking to the other side of the resort where other rooms were. Accidentally, she bumped shoulders with someone.