Too Close [Wattys2015]

Chapter 35: Undeniable

Collins was leading me upstairs. To where? I had no idea. I may not even be supposed to be following him, he may be going to the bathroom for all I know. But I wasn't going to follow him in there, sorry.

We both walked up the stairs and he walked straight into my room. I paused but reluctantly followed him and he quietly shut the door.

I looked at him. His lips were parted with a pale face. He ran his fingers through his hair.

He cleared his throat. "Uh, I-I'm sorry."

"For what?"

His voice was barely above a whisper. "Breaking your heart."

My heart caught in my throat and I couldn't say anything. I looked at his face, which was full of emotion. 

"I didn't mean to hurt you nor did I want to," he continued. "I don't want to lose you or push you away. I don't want to not be with you. I want to, believe me. But my dad and your mom- we couldn't happen if they are together."

I moved forward, but he raised one hand. "I'm not finished." He took a deep breath. "I haven't been doing good lately. I didn't want to hurt you, Ivory."

"But it seems like I have to for everything to be alright, but can it really?" He took in a deep breath. "If we told them, that would break my dad and your mom's heart. They seem happy, they're in love."

"Why are you telling me this?" I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Because I want you to know that- that what we had was real." He gulped.

"I know it was. But now it will just be worse for me." I explained. "With you telling me this, it's making it harder."

"What do you mean harder?" He asked.

"I mean harder as in getting over you, Collins."

"You are getting over me?" He asked, his tone soft.

"No," I choke out.

He lets out a long sigh. "Ivory, I don't know what we could do besides . . ."

I look up at him. "Besides what?"

He shakes his head. "It's stupid. You don't want to know."

"No I want to know." I insist.

Collins heaves a shallow sigh. "It was just a crazy thought. My thought was,uh, that we could just run away."

"As in together?" I raised an eyebrow.

Slowly, he nodded. "Yeah, but it was just a thought."

"What about school and my mom and brother and your dad?" I question. "Do we even have enough money?"

He looked at me. "You speak as if we are going to go."

I bit my lip. "I-I don't know. I was just seeking all the possibilities and the outcome if we did."

"Would you consider doing it?" His stare was intense.

Would I? Run away with him? It would just be us. I love him, my God, do I love this man standing in front of me who just offered for us to runaway together.

I loved him almost too much, so much it, but that's love right? So much love and affection towards another it literally becomes all you think about, all you want, simply everything and nothing all at once. Doesn't love make you do stupid, irrational things? Man, if it does, I was head over heels in love with Collins.

In deep thought I said, "I-I'll go."

"Go as in runaway with me?" His eyes grew wider.

Slowly I nodded. He walked closer to me until we were inches apart. Our breaths mingled and mixed together, it drove me close to insanity.