Trying to find home

21

I shot up out of one of the worst nightmares I have had in a while. I'm not surprised, but not happy either. Salem looked at me from her place on my thighs, cocking her head to the side. I ran my hand through my hair, smiling gently at her. The echo's of screams and loud sobs pulsated through my brain. God, being around them was making my flashbacks way worse.

"Vicky!" The name I hadn't heard in two years burned hot through my broken head, causing me to double over. My breathing sped up as I shoved Her face deep back into my brain. I couldn't loose it while I was here. I just couldn't. 

It took me a few minutes to be able to raise my head back up and look around. It was still dark outside and there was still no one up yet, so I assumed I hadn't been asleep for that long. I quickly grabbed my phone and checked the time. 4:30. Great. Flopping back, I dropped my phone on my chest in frustration. I already knew today was going to fucking suck.

After about ten minutes of staring at the ceiling, I sat back up and decided that I needed to get up and do something. This shit wasn't fucking helping anything.

Salem glared at me as I moved her from my lap to my shoulders once again to allow for me to get up and start getting ready. "Don't look at me like that," I grumbled. "I need to do things too ya know!" She shot me one last dirty look before going back to sleep. I sighed and picked up my backpack before heading over to the bathroom, setting Salem down on the side of the sink.

I stared at myself in the mirror for a while, taking in the deep purple eye bags and how my cheeks had begun to sink in again. All in all, I looked like shit. A wave of fierce wave of confidence flowed through my veins, baring my teeth at my reflection. No one controlled me. This was my life and I was going to fucking live it.

I grabbed the little makeup I had managed to get my hands on through people at schools I had previously gone too. I didn't have much, but it was better than nothing. I carefully put it on then dug through my bag to find the outfit I knew was always in there. After everything was ready, Salem jumped back on my shoulders as I smiled at my reflection. Sharp eyeliner stretched out from my silver eyeshadow, contrasting with the deep black lipstick. A sleek black tube top ran around my chest with baggy jeans I had bleached myself to have smiley faces all over them. With my hair up and my classic black boots, I felt ready to fucking fight god.

I checked the time again. 5:00. Damn, I still had time to kill. I guess I could just grab something to eat, leave a note for Bucky, then bounce. That sounded great, but, of course, it didn't work out.

As soon as I walked out of the bathroom, I was met with Tony with a pop tart in one hand and a greasy wrench in the other. His eyes grew wide as he took in my new look. Up until now, I looked like a lazy straight girl who didn't have the time or energy to brush her hair. Now, I looked more like the hot lesbian I was. 

"Better shut your mouth before you catch flies," I said before striding past him, slamming my shoulder into his. Tony stumbled back as he watched me walk over to the fridge and grab out a few slices of cold pizza.

"What are you doing here?" He asked when he finally came back to his senses. "And why do you have a cat?" I grabbed a can of tuna out of an open cabinet as well and set both Salem and the food on the ground. 

"Not my choice." I shoved half of a pizza slice into my mouth before digging through my backpack to try and find something to write on and with. 

"As for the cat, I rescued her from some assholes last night and then she followed me home." Nothing. Shit.

"Wait, is that why Bucky needed to borrow a car last night?"

"Well I mean he needed it to come drag me back here after said assholes followed me back to the apartment and tried to beat me up." I rolled my eyes as his face gave away his thoughts. "No, they didn't do anything. Yes, I broke a few noses and ribs, but I let them all live. Bucky is just the king of overreacting, so now I'm here. Well, not for much longer." Salem had rubbed her head on my leg to get me to pick her up after she finished her food. She hissed at Tony as I gently scratched behind her soft ears. Yeah, me too.