epiphanies - sirius black

chapter 11

As the journey to hogwarts continued, Maggie tried to distract herself by reading her book, but no matter, she couldn't concentrate, her mind was too conflicted.

She kept glancing up, a part of her was hoping that Sirius would be sitting there, watching her, just as he had at the start of the year, but no matter how many times she looked, she was met with the tattered, and very much empty seat of the bench opposite her.

When the train finally pulled in to the station, Maggie placed her book back into her bag, finding that she hadn't read a single page of it, yet again.

She had been so distracted on the journey, that she had found it practically impossible to focus on the words of her book.

After following the rest of her house down to the Ravenclaw table, she swallowed only a few mouthfuls of her dinner before leaving for bed.

She didn't even stop off at the library, just simply changed into her night clothes and slept, without even reading.

Something was wrong, she just couldn't figure out what.

The next few weeks were dull, boring. Everything was how it had been before- before she knew them.

And although this is how it had always been, after knowing them, after growing to love them, it wasn't good enough anymore.

She had had an empty void inside her, that she didn't even no existed until they filled it, but now with them gone, the emptiness was more visible, she could feel it now.

That was why she felt sad, and why being alone felt so much worse.

She was sat in the front row of her transfiguration lesson, like she always did, but since Christmas she had found that Lily had moved, and was now sitting on the other side of the classroom, next to a girl who Maggie knew to be Marlene McKinnon.

Marlene was giving Maggie angry stares from across the classroom, and had been since the start of term, in fact, so had most of the marauders.

Whenever they passed her in the corridors they would proceed to ignore her, and whisper what she could only comprehend to be bad things.

She knew they had been angry with her, that they were hurt, it was fair enough.

She tried to ignore the stares from Marlene, and continued to take her notes as Professor Mcgonagall blabbered on about transfiguring tables.

By the end of the lesson Maggie had filled three whole pages with writings, and her hand was aching horribly.

She packed up her books and headed to the library to complete some of her homework.

Once there, she found the library was quite crowded, but still managed to find herself an empty table to work on.

After about thirty minutes of working, Maggie heard a mumble of voices enter the room, and to her dismay, when she looked up, she was met with the startled eyes of Lily Evans, and the angry eyes of Marlene McKinnon.

Maggie's eyes were locked with Lily's. All she wanted to do was to apologise to the girl for everything she had put her through, and explain the whole situation, but in that moment, Maggie was unable to do much as move.

The girls were just frozen.

Suddenly Lily was marched onto an empty table by a determined, and arrogant Marlene, who had her head held high as she stormed her best friend away from the awkward confrontation.

After that, Maggie tried to continue with her work, but it was difficult as she could feel Marlene's eyes blazing into her back.

Every time she turned around the girl was glaring at her, as though in her mind she was thinking up 47 different ways too brutally, and painfully murder Maggie.

After two hours of the tortue, Maggie had just about managed to finish her homework, and got up too leave, wanting more than ever too escape the hellishness of the room, but when she turned around she found her exit being blocked by a furious Marlene.

She had her arms crossed, and her eyebrows furrowed, and a glint in her eyes that could kill.

Maggie glanced back at Lily, to see her hiding behind her hair, embarrassed by Marlene's dramatics.

"What you did, was a cruel, and mean thing too do" Marlene spat under her breath, as not to draw attention to their surrounding peers.

"I hope you know how much you hurt her, how many nights I stayed up comforting her as she cried, 'What did I do wrong Marlene?' 'Am I really that bad of a person Marlene?' 'What did I do for her to hate me so much Marlene?'. You know just as well as I do how confident and bubbly Lily is, and these last few weeks, she's been anything but, and it's because of you."

Maggie's heart dropped. She felt a small tear escape out of her eye socket, but it was quickly and guiltily wiped away before anyone noticed. She didn't deserve to feel bad, that would be awfully selfish.

"You disgust me." Marlene finished, before stomping back over to Lily.

Maggie grabbed her remaining books and sprinted back to her dorm, a storm of tears now blubbering down her face.

She hated herself for what she'd done, whether it had been her choice or not. She tried to stop herself imagining Lily sitting up and crying with Marlene, the thought broke her entirely.

Whilst clambering through the corridors, an emotional wreck, she found her foot slipping, and she came tumbling onto the ground, books askew all over the floor.

"Woahhh, watch it where your going Green"

Maggie turned around, wiping the remaining tears from her face, only to be met with the likes of Mulciber.

Rolling her eyes and ignoring the repulsive boy, she collected her books and got up to leave.

"Or should I say Avery" Mulciber snarled.

Maggie snapped her head around, confusion ridden on her face, but the boy had already turned and left, and was walking away, laughing with his friends.

When Maggie reached her dorm she was no longer thinking about Lily and Marlene, now she was thinking about what Mulciber had said.

What on earth could he possibly mean by that? She had no clue.

Why would he say Avery?

What did he have to do with anything?

She tried to shake her head of the thought as she got ready for bed.

But as she drifted off to sleep, she could think of nothing else; the moment replaying in the front of her mind like a broken record.