epiphanies - sirius black

chapter 19

Maggie had hoped she would feel some relief after apologising to Lily, but instead she felt an overriding sense of guilt.

Of course she couldn't blame Lily, but a small part of her had hoped that everything would have been forgotten in an instant and things could have gone back too the way they were. But it wasn't that simple.

Life wasn't that simple.

Maggie began waking back too her common room, she had wanted so desperately too go and find the boys, too hear one of James' jokes, followed by Sirius' laugh and one of Remus' snarky comments, she so badly needed too hear it, but Madame Pomphery had ordered her too return straight back too her common room after her short excursion too dinner, and so heading her commands, she continued on down the hall.

As she past the library, it took Maggie everything she had not too run in and curl up in her spot under the big window, it would take her mind off of everything- off of Lily. But she clenched her fists and remained on the path too the common room, trudging up the stairs, all the way to the top of the Ravenclaw tower.

Earlier her bed had felt like a warm safe haven after sleeping in the hospital wing all week- but now it felt like a stone plaque, a ridged slate of rock.

She tried to sleep as her dorm mates snored away - they either hadn't noticed or didn't seem to care about Maggies return.

She gazed endlessly at the curved ceiling above her, analysing every turn, cut and pattern engraved into the wood.

Her mind would simply not rest- so picking up a book on her bedside table, Maggie began too read.

She read for what felt like hours in the dimly lit room- the candle next to her melting away by the second- before she felt her limbs becoming achy from exhaustion, and she let her body drift off.

The morning came abruptly- the sun glaring down on her bed- heating her bed sheets ever so slightly.

Maggie got herself dressed, brushed her hair and made her way down for breakfast.

Despite her late night, Maggie seemed to be one of the first awake. She sat at the Ravenclaw table almost alone as she spooned a serving of porridge into her bowl and poured herself a glass off orange juice, it was refreshing in the baking heat of the morning.

After a while, more and more people began to enter into the hall- one of them being a redheaded girl.

Lily and Maggie held eye contact for a brief, awkward moment before the girl sat down at the Gryffindor table.

It was better than nothing.

Maggie waited hopefully for some sign of the boys- although she wasn't expecting them too be down at this time in the morning- it would have been nice too see their faces.

She sat there for at least 10 extra minutes after finishing her meal too see if they might turn up- but too her dismay- they didn't.

There was atleast an hour until lessons started- so Maggie felt herself wandering naturally to her favourite place- the library.

As she curled up in her spot under the big bay window, she smiled too herself keenly. It was just the right time in the morning too be sat in such a spot- the sun seemingly illuminating the words on the pages of her book. It was beautiful.

The book in question was a collection of poetry.

Maggie laughed slightly knowing how much Sirius would object; despite his love for literature, he had made it very clear how he felt about sonnets and verses.

But as she continued too read, a specific poem seemed too stick out in Maggie's mind amongst the others:

"Hope is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all"

Hope.

Yes. She needed some of that.

After a while, Maggie began to gather her bags and made her way too her first lesson- double Herbology.

It felt a little weird being back in lessons after being bed ridden for so long- but it was nice in away- she didn't feel completely useless.

It was quite a quiet lesson- well- in Maggie's case atleast. She wasn't overly acquainted with any Hufflepuffs or fellow Ravenclaws, and therefore kept too herself.

It wasn't so bad- quite peaceful actually. She often found herself using Herbology as a chance to think and ponder over things. This particular lesson was used too debate whether Lily and her would ever have any hope of becoming friends again.

God she hoped they would.

After 2 hours of tending to plants, Maggie wandered to the hall to for lunch.

She served herself some Shepard's pie along with a cup of tea, and as she ate, she simultaneously found herself scanning the room- but yet again- the infamous marauders were no where insight.

After her meal, Maggie wandered over too a grassy area were several students were sitting all spread out in little groups.

She found herself a spot and began too read more of the poetry book she had taken out that morning.

But, Maggie was starting too feel peculiar.

She hadn't seen the boys in such a long time, and for being some of the most annoying and 'in your face' boys at hogwarts- they seemed too have disappeared off of the face of the earth.

Maggie was starting too think she had dreamed up their reacquaintance. Maybe she hadn't apologised- maybe they hadn't come too visit her- maybe Sirius hadn't brought her any sticky toffee pudding- maybe Madame Pomphery had just drugged her up with a load of Wizarding pain killers and she had been hallucinating- maybe-

"MAGGIE"

A voice yelled from the other side of the green, and all at once James Potter was running towards her- galloping almost- as if he were a deer.

As he neared her Maggie bookmarked her page and laughed as the boy fell too his knees panting.

"Are you alright there Potter" she asked as she smiled at the deflated boy lying dramatically on the ground before her.

"Where-the fuck have you-been- we've been-looking for you -everywhere". He asked through sparred breaths.

"Says you- I havent see any of you at any meals, I was getting worried that you all still hated me" Maggie laughed.

"We've been looking for you you dingbat" He laughed, pushing his glasses back onto his face, "We snuck into the hospital wing last night at dinner too see you- but you were gone- we thought you'd finally had enough off Poppy's meals and run away, been searching the castle for you ever since".

"I didn't run away you idiots- she let me go, said I'm all better, besides, you found me- now go find the others so they can stop this wild goose chase." Maggie chuckled.

"Of course M'lady" James said with a bow, before running off to go as collect the other three marauders.