epiphanies - sirius black

chapter 20

The five of them sat around in a circle on the grass round the back of the castle after the days lessons had finished.

According to the boys it was their 'secret spot'.

"You know you're the first girl we've ever brought back here" James had stated.

"Yeah and probably the last" Remus had added.

Maggie had let out a breathy laugh. She hadn't  really know how too respond.

Remus sat studying- an array of books surrounding him. Maggie observed how firmly he was gripping his pen, and how every so often he would outstretch his hands as they grew achy.

James and Peter seemed too be practicing jinx's on each other, although Maggie struggled too decipher exactly what jinx's it was they were practicing judging by how unpromising the results were.

Sirius was leaning against the wall of the castle as he lit a cigarette with his lighter, his smoky breaths encircling the air around them, whilst Maggie sat cross legged, head down in her poetry book.

It was peaceful.

"Shit!! Merlins fucking balls" Remus yelled angrily, breaking the calm serenity that had seemed too wipe Maggie from reality.

The group turned too look at Remus, too find that he had managed too spill an ink pot all over the essay he had been writing for the past twenty minutes.

"Nice one Moony" Sirius muttered holding back a laugh, earning himself the finger from Remus.

"Now I'm going to have too fucking start again"

"We can help if you want?" James asked, a smirk on his face.

"You lot won't be much help" Remus rolled his eyes.

"How rude!" James exclaimed sarcastically earning a slight smile from Remus.

"I'll just go finish it at the library, see you guys at dinner a'right" he said, followed by an exasperated sigh.

"See you then Moons"
"Later Moony"
"Bye Rem"
They all called out too him as he walked off carrying his mountain of books.

"Poor sod, though Slughorn did only just set that essay today, he's got plenty off time, no need too get so worked up" Sirius stated, cigarette still burning at his lips.

"Shit shit shit Pete, we have detention with Slughorn" James spat.

"What did you get done for this time" Maggie questioned, eyes still fixed on her book, waiting for their ridiculous excuses.

"Oh, it was nothing really" Peter stated.

"Just teaching Snivellous a lesson on manners" James followed.

"Sounds about right" Maggie laughed under her breath, "Whilst your at it you might want to take a lesson or two yourself", she added giving the boys a accusing look.

"Us! No, our manners are too form, Pads here has been trained in civility." James pointed out.

"It's true- my bigoted parents may not know how to nurture children, but they sure know a thing or two about manners." Sirius smirked, inhaling another long breath of ash.

Maggie flinched a bit at the thought of her parents- almost forgetting they knew nothing of her lineage, but she shook the thought away, reminding herself that she'd like to keep it that way.

"Well we better get on then, later" James cried as he and Peter ran off too their detention, leaving Maggie and Sirius alone.

Maggie went back too reading her poetry book, as Sirius began pulling out his pack of cigarettes, getting ready too light another one.

"Want one?" Sirius offered as he gestured Maggie's gaze to the packet in his hand.

"Sure" Maggie nodded.

She hadn't really had one before- they were more of a muggle thing- but fuck it, she was living her own life now, so she placed the cigarette between her lips and lent forward, letting Sirius light it.

It tasted funny, like ash- but sweet.

She liked it.

"Whacha reading" Sirius questioned gesturing too her book.

"You'll hate me if I tell you" Maggie laughed, inhaling another breath of smoke- coughing slightly.

"I don't know about that Mags, hate is a strong word"

"It's a poetry book"

"Poetry! Not fucking poetry. Of all things, really Mags that's disappointing."

"Told you you'd hate me" Maggie teased him.

"Oh Mags" Sirius smirked, "I could never hate you".

Maggie thought about that moment a lot that night, her lungs still full of ash and her mind gushing.

The way he'd looked at her.

She shook her head. That was Sirius she was thinking about.

She found it strange- good strange- how quickly they'd all become comfortable with each other again, as though nothing had changed.

But. The way he'd looked at her.

The next morning at breakfast, Maggie sat at the Gryffindor table with the boys- it made sense to. I mean, what was the point in sitting all alone at the Ravenclaw table eating by herself like a miserable old sod when she had friends- actual friends she could talk too.

She found herself occasionally glancing in Lily's direction, but subtly, not wanting to draw attention too their situation- she didn't really feel like talking about it with the boys.

Suddenly a flurry of owls swarmed the hall, and letters began floating down.

One fell at Maggie's lap.

That could only mean one thing.

One person.

Shit.