epiphanies - sirius black

chapter 18

When Maggie woke it was still light outside, the sunlight seeping through the gap in the curtains.

Her dorm was still empty.

She felt an extraordinary ache in her stomach. She was starving.

She sat up drowsily, rubbing her rested eyes, hoping she hadn't slept through dinner.

After checking the old clock on her bedside table, Maggie discovered that it was, in fact, only 17.30, meaning she still had time to go and eat, and god she needed too.

She hauled herself off of her bed and began to change into her uniform- she couldn't go down in her pyjamas after all.

Once dressed, she eagerly made her way out of the common room, the thought of the glorious food that awaited her luring her onwards.

The corridors were desolate and empty. Maggie's stomach began too twist slightly, as she thought back too that night.

The last time she had roamed these halls, she had been running from Avery.

But she was walking faster now, adamant too defy her parents. She wasn't going to listen to their prejudiced beliefs, she wasn't going to confine herself to their ridiculous regulations, and she certainly was not going to marry Alex Avery.

She had told herself this over and over again countless times now, but she had too. She had too remind herself. She had to stay on this path. The right path.

As she made her way up to the thick, open, towering oak doors, Maggie's hands became clammy.

She wiped her sweaty palms on her skirt, and then outstretched her hands nervously.

Why was she nervous? Avery?

Maybe.

Marlene? Lily?

Yes, maybe it was the guilt.

She was looking forward too seeing the boys.

'Yes. Just think about the boys. And breathe. It will be okay. Everything.' she thought to herself.

She reached the doors, and was now faced with the great hall.

Students from all houses were scattered across the hall, congregating at various tables.

Maggie made her way over too the Ravenclaw table, seating herself right at the end of the bench. Unnoticeable.

She began too spoon food on to her plate. Everything from roast potatoes too Yorkshire puddings too roast beef, she even threw a few vegetables on there, all smothered in a pool of gravy.

The smell that filled her nose was mouth watering, and she began eating at once.

As she ate, Maggie scoured the Gryffindor table for some sign of the boys, but they were no where in sight.

Perhaps they had already eaten?

Two people who were sitting at the Gryffindor table though, were Marlene and Lily.

Maggie shuddered a little, a sudden memory coursing back through her mind. Lily's dead body lying down on the cold hard floor.

Lily.

Maggie knew she had too make amends with the girl. She was the first friend she had ever really made. And whether Lily was too forgive her or not, Maggie needed to apologise, it was the least she could do after acting like such a complete and utter prat.

As she continued to chew through her dinner, Maggie began too plan out her apology.

She ran through a list of conversation starters and ways she would approach Lily, her hands once again growing clammy with nervous sweat.

By the time she had finished her dinner, Maggie had practically planned out their entire conversation.

She was glad to say that not a single person questioned her a sense, nor the bruise on her cheek.

That was a good thing, right?

But as she chewed through her final mouthfuls of plum pudding, she noticed Marlene and Lily making their way too the door.

She hurriedly swallowed the dessert and began hastily making her way too the door also.

She needed to talk to Lily, she just had to get it off her chest.

By the time she made it too the entrance doors, Lily and Marlene were already half way down the corridor.

Maggie tried to catch up with them, walking as fast as she could, but trying desperately not to draw attention to herself.

She followed them like this for atleast 10 minutes before arriving at the Gryffindor common room.

As she caught up, she watched Marlene recite the password and enter the common room. Lily was just about to follow when-

"Lily wait!"

Lily's head spun, her eyes now fixed on the girl cowering on the other side of the corridor.

"M-Maggie?" Lily questioned.

She glanced into the common room, her face illuminated by the glowing light erupting from the room, before letting the door go and watching it close.

She then turned to face Maggie again, and began to walk towards her.

Maggie's hands began too sweat again. She opened her mouth to speak, to say the speech that she had been practicing over and over in her head for the past 30 minutes, but no words came out.

A great silence surrounded them, lasting for what felt like days.

Lily stood there, her green eyes drowning Maggie in guilt.

"I-I just wanted to say-" Maggie began, staring down at her feet.

"I'm sorry".

More silence.

Maggie wasn't sure what Lily was going too say, and when she looked up at her face, the expression was unreadable.

Then their eyes met. And Maggie could see something in them.

Hope?

Forgiveness?

Maggie opened her mouth too break the quiet.

"You don't have too forgive m-"

"It's okay" Lily stated.

"No it's not. I was such a shitty friend, a shitty person, and you didn't deserve it, you don't, and I just want you too know that it wasn't your fault, really, I was just... I... it was my fault and, and you are such an incredible person, and I just- I don't even want your forgiveness, I just needed you to know that, I'm so sorry Lily." Maggie spluttered.

Lily's face remained expressionless, but she nodded.

"I forgive you".

And although the words were being spoken, although she had heard the words slip through Lily's lips, as the red head made her way through the common room door, Maggie knew that she didn't mean them.