Lost (Parrlyn)

Chapter 27

"What?"

Anna's face was downcast. Her shoulders sagged sadly and were shaking because she was crying so hard. I had never seen her act like this before. 

Kitty walked into the tent after me and ran to Anna's aid instantly. Within moments, Anna was weeping uncontrollably on Kitty's shoulder, 

I watched the two girls comfort one another, exchanging their own share of misery. By the time they had spent not even five minutes together, Kitty had her own tears streaming down her face. I didn't say or do anything. I just watched. 

"J-J-Jane says I have to go," Anna wept to Kitty, even though everybody else in the tent was listening intently. "I'm boarding the raft next week."

Although I felt extremely sorry for Anna, I felt like a weight had just been rolled off my shoulders. I was not going to be making my way to America alone.

"We won't be apart for long, Anna," Kitty murmured, her voice cracking, "Before we know it, we'll both be standing in America, hand in hand..."

"I can't do this, Kitty," Anna sobbed, "I can't leave you and my family. I'm serious!"

Kitty swept Anna into a hug, resting her chin on Anna's shoulder. Her chin was wobbling. I could tell Kitty was summoning all of her willpower to stop herself from crying out and losing the plot too.

I felt a gentle nudge on my arm. Anne. She put an arm around my shoulders, looking at Anna and Kitty was sorrow. Her finger slid up to my cheek to wipe away the lone tear that was trickling down my cheek. Anne also pulled out tissues from her pocket and started handing them out of everybody.

"Anna, you can," Kitty was saying, more tears continued to slide down her face, "You're the strongest person I know. If anybody can do it, it's you."

"No..."

"Yes. Anna, you can do it."

I know I should've said something to comfort Anna, to make her feel better. But the words never came. I could only stare at them both, in stunned silence. Out of all the people that Jane could've chosen, why Anna? 

I could feel my heart breaking in two by just watching them. I could tell Anne's was too. Her eyes were misting over with teardrops, but she controlled herself. She kept her dignity. 

Anne was pulling me outside of the tent, trying to give the other two their privacy. I obliged, turning my heel on Anna and Kitty. I remembered the pain and hurt and confusion on Anna's face, I suddenly felt quite nauseous. 

"Let's go for a walk," Anne suggested. Her voice was surprisingly gentle and calm, "Perhaps it'll clear your mind?"

I was tempted for a split-second to do what Anne wanted. I knew it would make me feel better and to help block out my mind over what I had just witnessed. But it seemed like the cowardly option. I couldn't. I needed to find Jane and ask why.

"No, it's okay," I shook my head. "I'm going to find Jane and ask her why."

"If that makes you feel better," Anne sighed, "Go for it."

I was glad Anne supported what I was going to die and didn't try persuading me otherwise. I turned away from her sharply and started making my way over to the soup kitchens. Jane helped out there for extra resources to help stop the tent from collapsing. 

I caught sight of Jane as I approached the soup kitchen. She was there, smiling and joking, whilst she washed up mugs and dishes. Somehow, that made me feel angry. She had just forced Anna into something she didn't want to do and left her crying in the tent. And here she was, having the time of her life working in a soup kitchen.

My fists were shaking with fury. Why wasn't life fair?

I stormed up to where she was, steam practically spewing out of both of my ears. 

She caught sight of me within a few seconds. Her smile slipped and was replaced by a much more anxious and frightened and serious look. I saw her excuse herself from her duties and dash off to where I was standing. The Jane that I saw rushing over to me looked very different from the Jane that was having fun doing her work in the soup kitchen.

The anger that I felt suddenly evaporated and left behind quite a shameful feeling. Jane had done so much for the family and had helped us out of the darkest times. I couldn't believe I was getting angry over her having fun and smiling. Maybe I was a little jealous?

"Hey, Cathy!" She said, "What're you doing here?"

I took a deep breath. 

"Anna's in a bad state," I whispered, blinking up innocently at Jane. "She's upset that you're sending her to America next week."

"I sussed," Jane continued, sounding a stressed. "I had to send somebody, though."

"Why did you choose Anna?"

"She's a lot stronger than she looks, Cathy," Jane said quietly, meeting me dead in the eye. I shivered. "If anybody in this family can cope with something as tough as this, it's Anna."

"What if she doesn't make it?" I replied, swallowing back a lump of fear. "What if something goes wrong? What if-"

"Don't," Jane cut across me sharply, "Thinking pessimistically isn't the way to go. We need to stay positive. Especially for Anna's sake."

She walked away from me, heading back to continue doing her work. Jane didn't give me a single backwards glance. 

I sighed and turned away. Maybe it was a good idea to take up Anne's idea and go for a walk after all?