Lost (Parrlyn)

Chapter 31

(Back to the past. Three-month time skip)

Three months was a reasonably long period of time. Those three months, however, passed by like seconds. 

It would seem too drastic to say that those three months was probably the last time I laughed, but it was the truth.  Those were the final months were I was surrounded by the people I loved, the last few times where we had the chance to act and enjoy being a family (minus Anna).

I couldn't help but wish I could reverse the clock to go back to those happy times. 

I was perched on a small gate, armed with the notepad that Janie had given me. It was almost like the comfort item to me, something that I picked up and stared at longingly for hours.

I was careful with it. The last thing I wanted to do was run out of pages to write down my thoughts or lose it. The mere thought of that was unimaginable. 

I ran my fingers through the smooth white pages, reading over what I had written the day before. As I read several sentences aloud, I frowned. It didn't flow.

I gently crossed out several flaws that I had spotted, adding in more adjectives and adverbs where I think they would fit. The final result was ridiculous but I didn't mind. I was the only one going to see them, after all. 

This was the final day in England. We were going to America tomorrow.

It never seemed so real until now.

Anna went to America over three months ago. To us, it felt only like yesterday. I reckoned that she must've arrived there by now, enjoying a peaceful and quiet life in the land of success and fame. Although we haven't heard anything from her yet, Jane told us all that 'no news is good news.' I hoped she was right.

Sighing, I folded the notepad into my pocket and clambered to my feet.

 The wind blew harshly against my cheeks, making my cheeks tingle and glow. Droplets started pouring out of the ominous grey clouds from above, telling me that it would be a good idea to take refuge in our tents. 

I was planning on heading back anyways.

"I won't miss the British rain," I murmured to myself, pulling my coat hood over my head, "Let's hope America has a sun that isn't so shy at shining as ours is!"

Once I had arrived at the tent, I ducked inside, shivering. Anne was at my side instantly, pulling off my coat and handing me a second hand, torn blanket. It didn't look attractive, but it kept me warm. Just like any normal blanket should. 

The entire family was there. Everybody was avoiding each other's eye contact. Everybody was silent. Everybody looked uncomfortable, anxious but yet excited at the same time...

What if America didn't work out?

My hands shook slightly as I wrapped the coarse surface of the blanket around my shoulders. There wasn't a plan B or any backup to fall onto. If it didn't work or if something went wrong, it was game over. We would be stuck.

But if it did go well, America would be like all of my Christmasses and birthdays rolled into one. I would have an amazing family by my side, a gorgeous girlfriend and a place where I was wanted... accepted... loved...

"Are we all packed?" Jane's voice cut in, breaking the silence. "We can't bring much with us, just essentials."

We nodded, raising our heads to nod with the smallest amount of enthusiasm except Mary.

"Mum, you forgot this," She put in quietly, her fingers curling around the small package. The package that Henry had made us promise to bring along with us. She handed it to Jane and settled back into her sleeping bag.

"Shouldn't we open it?" Cath asked worriedly, "Shouldn't we know what's inside before carrying it across the ocean?"

"Henry said not to," Jane replied, stifling a yawn.

"So you're going to trust that sleaze bag over your own instinct. What if it's drugs? Or even a bomb? Or something deadly like that?!" 

"Not now, Cath," Jane responded in a sharp tone. "Look, I can't deal with this right now."

"Then when will you?" Cath argued defiantly back.

I let them bicker onwards, their words going in through one ear and out the other. I was still so fixated on how we were just about to leave England for good.

The row ended in tears. Jane stormed off, armed with the package, choking back a muffled sob. She went out into the rain and that was the last of her that any of us saw that evening. Cath flopped back onto her sleeping bag. She stared aimlessly up at the ceiling of the tent, refusing to speak or utter a single word more. 

We were a mess.

"After tomorrow, this will all be over," Anne whispered into my ear, "We're going to America!"

I dredged up a weak smile, embracing her into a hug. 

But the smile slipped almost instantly. 

There was something on the back of my mind, something that I couldn't shake off. 

There was something suspicious about everything, I just couldn't put my finger on what.