Lost (Parrlyn)

Chapter 3

The feeling of hunger that gnawed inside my stomach constantly had reached a breaking point. I could no longer stand upright on two feet, as I had very little strength left within me to do so. I would spend each day lying on the pavements, limiting my movement, trying to hold on for as long as I could, trying to fight on with life. But my body was in such a terrible state, I wondered if it would be better just to give up altogether and let death overtake me. At least then I wouldn't be suffering as much as I was then.

I received money from concerned strangers,  who panicked about my well being, but I didn't need their worry. Just like I didn't need Henry's love. Because my life was as good as over. There was no way my body could take another few months living in these conditions.

I had the money to buy food, but my body didn't have the strength to actually walk into the nearby Tesco's and buy some. I also didn't have the strength to open my mouth and tell somebody that, so I would just watch kind-hearted people slip money into a plastic water bottle that I had put out, while I tried to express my thank yous with my eyes, preserving as much energy as I could.

It was nice so many people cared about me and had kept me going for five months but the battle was over now. I was a goner, and I didn't care about surviving anymore. I would do anything to end this everlasting gnaw of hunger that sent painful rumbles into my stomach, and if that meant dying. So be it.

That one day in late March, my body had almost stopped functioning. I had woken up with my vision blurred, making it almost painful to see what was going on. My throat was harsh and coarse from the lack of fluidity. My breathing turned rasping and hallow, and the pain in my stomach had intensified, telling my brain that the time had come. That it was time to say goodbye.

I wasn't even sad about it anymore. I just wanted it all to end. I just wanted my suffering to be put at ease. My brain silently cursed Henry for putting me through this, and my stroke of unluckiness to that time Henry had first set his eyes on me.

****

Two years ago...

It was at one of those over-the-top fancy dinner parties where everybody nods and pretends they are having a great time, but really, they're hating every second of it. I was there, smiling and nodding through gritted teeth even though my face had felt frozen.

They handed us a glasses of champagne with tasted like puke, so I pretended to drink it when everybody was watching and then I spat it out into a plant pot. That most definitely wasn't my proudest moment.

While I was emptying my mouth of that disgusting drink, I turned my head to check if anybody was watching me and I saw a boy that caught my eye. He too was spitting out his champagne into a plant pot, pulling a very disgusted facial expression, which made me snigger slightly. When he came up from the plant pot, letting out a small cough, he caught me staring at him, and his cheeks flushed. I hurriedly looked away, feeling uncomfortable. I hoped he wouldn't snitch and tell my parents that I was spitting the host's champagne into their plant pot.

Thank goodness he didn't, or else that would have been difficult to get me out of.

Then by the stroke of unluckiness, we found ourselves side by side, watching our drunk families attempting to do a slow Viennese Waltz. We both hid giggles into our handkerchiefs, disguising them as coughs, as we caught each other's eyes again. And then we started talking. It started as the awkward 'Hello,' and 'How are you,' and then eventually turned into a normal friendly chat.

He was called Henry and he was nice enough, a little boisterous and conceited, but pleasant enough to chat around with whenever I was bored. Unfortunately, my parents had caught us both amicably chatting away to one another and then they had set us on our first date.

I didn't like Henry in that way, and I was already dating Edward Burgh, whom I fell head over heels for, but my parents had forced me to break up with him to date the jerk of Henry. It would have never worked out, as I could never show Henry that kind of affection, no matter how wealthy Henry was.

Yes, my parents set us both up because of his families wealth.

And I hated them for it.

*******

I thought regretfully over our first greetings, and if only I had decided to swallow the drink down and joined in with my parents' drunk dancing, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't be on the streets, I wouldn't be with Henry, I wouldn't be living this one heck of a life. Everything was so messed up, and I wished I had never gone to that stupid party and met the stupid Henry.

My thoughts turned to my upcoming death. I could almost feel it looming over me. My body was no longer in a fit state to run, and my desire to die was becoming stronger and stronger. I couldn't hold onto life for another hour, my body was sure of that.

And then this one stranger walked by. It was most definitely a female, and she walked so stealthily, my blurry vision almost mistook her for a robber.

She suddenly stopped mid-step and she turned her gaze down onto me. I saw her silhouette take a step towards me before my eyes decided to close. I could hear her bending over me, putting a few loose coins into my plastic bottle, but it didn't matter anymore. My breathing had slowly become a tremendous effort, and it wasn't long before I slipped into unconsciousness.

My death was finally upon me...