The canvas just didn’t have the same appeal to her as it once did.
It once represented a fresh slate - a new beginning of a beautiful masterpiece. But after multiple attempts, the brown of the mixed paint strokes - evidence of her own impatience - had to be covered by a thick layer of black acrylic, and over that, the simple white sketch of a girl - isolated and alone.
And that girl was her future.
“Anna, can we...talk?”
She looked up to see the worried faces of Ginny and Hermione.
“What’s wrong?” She asked innocently, straightening her paint-riddled smock as she stood up from her stool.
Hermione swallowed. “Well...um...this intervention...we just want to say that you haven’t been yourself lately, and…”
“Cut the balderdash, Hermione.” Ginny snapped, crossing her arms as she turned to face Anna head-on. “We’re worried about you. We know you said that you’re fine, and you’re better, but...you’re not.”
“What do you mean?” Anna raised her eyebrows. She threw her arms up in exasperation. “I am fine. I’m going to Hogsmeade - talking to people. Painting.”
“You’re talking to toddlers.” Ginny pointed out.
“What’s wrong with that?”
She rolled her eyes, pulling out all of Anna’s recent sketches and paintings - all consisting of the same black and white mediums with one main theme; the dark room.
“How about your paintings for one? You aren’t okay, Anna. We know you. And we want to help.” Ginny took a deep breath. “I know you’ve been having a hard time, but death isn’t supposed to be an easy thing. And Harry can’t focus on you and his tournament at the same time and-”
Anna laughed wryly. “What do you think i’ve been doing these past few weeks? I’ve been researching and doing my best to help Harry in the tournament - at the expense of my relationship with Cedric and my own free time.”
“You’re using Harry’s tournament as an excuse, Lillian.” Ginny snapped.
“Stop it!” Anna’s fists clenched. “You have no right to call me that.”
“I have every right. I’ve been by your side every step of the way - and I don’t think I ask a whole lot of you in return. You haven’t been a good person lately - let alone a good friend. You need a wake up call.”
“What in the magical world of Oz makes you think you’ve had my back from day 1?” Anna finally exploded - her cheeks flushed with rage. “Were you there when I was passed from foster home to foster home? When I found my family’s dead bodies? When I was in a coma for 6 months?” Her anger churned inside her - flames consuming her from the inside out. “You don’t know anything, Ginerva! No one does.”
And then she was running - desperate to get to the woods when she crossed paths with none other than Pansy Parkinson and her gang of villains.
Pansy and Anna had never seen eye to eye, but most of her beef was with Hermione. But ever since Draco and Anna had become friends, Pansy’s unwanted attention had slowly been drifting over in her favour.
How lovely.
“Potter. Be careful. Don’t want any of your blood filth on my robes.” She said airly.
Anna’s nose ached from where they had collided, but she wordlessly wiped the blood away. “Not the time, Parkinson.” She warned, but when she tried to push past her, Pansy’s friends simply pushed back against her.
“Not just yet, Potter.” Pansy sniffed, lifted her nose high up in the air as if Anna was so beneath her. She then laughed - her icy blue eyes glinting with amusement. “Poor little orphan girl, waiting for her happy ending.” She then bent down, putting her lips at Anna’s ear. “You’re never going to succeed in life. Because you’re nothing. And you’ll try to find a purpose, and you’ll grab onto any kind of positive emotion that fleetingly comes your way. But in the end, you’ll be forgotten, and alone.”
Pansy’s words struck her in that rare shink in the thick armor that Anna kept around her heart. Because that really was her greatest fear - that she would die and be stuck in that dark black void for eternity - destined to be forever alone and forgotten.
The worst part?
Anna knew that it was her destiny.
And in the end, she would be forced to face it.
“Go to hell, Parkinson.” She mumbled, finally using all of her strength to ram through Pansy’s human wall as she stalked off in the stone castle corridors.
But even Anna had emotions, and she couldn’t help the tears that fell down her face as the sobs escaped her, and pretty soon, all she was looking for was a place to hide.
Because she wasn’t allowed to be seen like this: weak. Afraid.
And then she had banged into another body, and cursed her bad luck.
“Anna? What the bloody hell?”
She knew that voice from anywhere.
Out of the thousands of other people in the Hogwarts castle, she had to bump into him. The same person she’d been forcibly trying to avoid for the past few weeks.
Draco’s eyes scanned her, reaching up a hand to hold her cheek. “Anna. You’re bleeding...and upset. What happened?”
Anna shrugged away from his touch
“Get away from me. I can’t fix you - remember?”
“Anna-”
“Please, just leave me alone.”
She hated the brokenness in her voice, but she didn’t look back as she opened the door to an empty classroom - collapsing into one of the corners as she continued to cry, wrapping her arms around herself as if she were trying to keep herself from shattering.
That was when she felt it - a lump in her pocket.
Carefully, she unveiled the small baggie of starglass granules. It was enough for one last dose.
Don’t do it! You won’t be able to survive it! Her mother’s voice reminded her.
She didn’t really feel like surviving right now.
What about the prophecy? If you die, Voldemort can never be killed.
Good thing he wasn’t here.
The drive to be with her parents wasn’t suicidal - it was desperation. Ginny was right though - she wasn’t okay. But her life was already as messed up as it was.
Besides, one last time couldn’t hurt, right?
She’d come back. She always did.
It was all a rush - mixing the remaining contents of the bag with the tap water before downing the cup in one single gulp - sealing her fate.
Then the door opened.
“Anna?”
YOU ARE READING
Lillian 'Anna' Potter || Goblet of Fire
Fanfiction"YOU'VE PLAYED ME FOR A FOOL AND STRUNG ME ALONG LIKE A FIDDLE. THE LEAST I DESERVE FROM YOU IS AN EXPLANATION!" It was revealed by J.K Rowling that when Lily Potter originally died, she was with child. What if Lily had her second child before Volde...
