Homestuck Trolls! x Human Child! Reader!

💪🐎💙♐

 Hello, I'm (Y/n) and still nine Years old; for now. I work in the family business, Which you already know. Yada yada, I still go to "their" hive/home and do my job, But I encountered a little problem with them... They're just there. The younger two and the... adult. Yes I know it's their house/hive but, I was only used to them not being here. So I am going through the filing cabinet for the Zahhak family Housekeeper Service Agreement to see the date when the agreement will terminate.

Papers after papers I got the document. With a deep sigh of annoyance, I realize those bastards- I mean my Auntie and Uncle printed this in Font-size 6, And if you know nothing about Font Size 6, it is tiny and It should only be used for a hidden clause in a contract, as no white cakes on a Thursday. I don't know why I went with that example. There are better examples out there but I use that one, But it got to the point. No white cakes on a Thursday.

I can only assume that they used this font either by accident, or to save money. And if it's to save money there are better ways. Like, I need a Magnifying glass to read this. Speaking of magnifying glasses, there's one upstairs in the main office. Wait.. how the fuc-*loud coughing* How the freak did They get a skyscraper of a man to sign the small dotted line? And how did he write it so small?

Well go up the stairs I realized the stairs are squeaky. And these are not tiny squeaks their fuckin like- I mean! Like somebody put squeaking toys under here. Does the railing feel quite woody n granny instead of smooth and waxy? Is waxy even a word? "Ow! Bit-.. Birch Gave me a splinter." I don't even know how to deal with splinters! Do I have to live with splinters in my hand now? I will look up how to remove splinters with tweezers later, But for now, I'm reading this contract.

The door is on the floor in several different pieces. "What the actual clusterfuck is going on!?" there is only so much I can deal with and this is the breaking point. Wait, never mind. The more I look around the more I see things that shouldn't be like that. The window is not even made out of window. It's just clear trash bags as fuckin window! Screw this contract. I'm going to do arson. That is the only solution, I don't see any other plans for me in the future.

The Fuckin metal pipes are gone! They replaced it with fake plastic tubes and even have tape going around it! This is embezzlement! at least I think it is I have never actually heard the word defined. I grabbed the vase and threw it on the ground, the bitch bounced. But the desire for Destruction did not leave. Looking around I can't even find the company-owned van. So here the thing, staring at the all-too-familiar red Jerrycan. I mean what's the chance it's actually filled with gasoline? I know they should be, but what are the chances? But there could be a chance they diluted it, thus making it useless.

Two hours later, I'm at the park watching A building burning down While I'm drinking some red Kool-Aid in a wine glass. I did get a little too excited? Yes. And did I decide to dress up a little like a woman who has maybe killed her husband and acting like she didn't? Yes. I got to go with the act. Do not worry I was being very smart. I went through the house and packed up Everything that was mine or deemed "valuable".

After finishing my drink I hear the sirens of the police car and the fire trucks. It's best if I leave now. Grabbing my luggage I head back to the...Fiddlesticks. I gotta head back home. I thought I would never go back but, I should have planned this a bit more. What's done is done and I can always do it again!

Maybe I can live like a Boxcar kid, I remembered reading a book series set in the Great Depression about it; it must have been last year when I read it. How would I even get on a train? They must have changed the trains to be better nowadays. Maybe I have no choice but to walk back.

Each day is getting colder now, I wonder if it's going to snow? Speaking of the devil, I noticed gray bits mixed with white falling to the ground. Trying to catch some in my hand was a pretty bad idea. Not really bad I could always rub it off. It was just annoying.

Flashing lights in front of my trashed house tell me I won't have guests for the night. Good, it was getting too crowded. I do wonder why auntie and Uncle are in handcuffs for? It is quite amusing. When was the last time I saw them? Maybe last week? Or at the beginning of summer? Spring? Is it time to go back to school now?

I guess I should find out after the police leave. When Mom and Dad come back I'm in trouble. For the Arson, Everything else is their Fault. Hell, I'll blame them for the arson.

Thinking more about today's date, my parents should be home like a while ago. Where did they go? Why be gone for so long? Why didn't you take me with you? God my hands are freezing. Sorry for breaking the line of questioning but Geez they are cold. The Splinter is not making it any better.

By the time the officers had left I was shivering so much that I had a hard time putting the key in the doorknob. Get. In. The. Hole. You. *click*

It was unlocked the whole time. I wanted to pass out Immediately but this place is a mess. the houses I clean up are not this bad this is like two different tornadoes came after you. How do you collapse the ceiling of the living room? Where is all the furniture at? Where is the fridge!? Did someone just steal it?! And from that point, everything got worse.

Anything that wasn't nailed to the floor was gone. You name it it's gone. the bathtub, Gone. the washer? Gone. the fake plants? Gone. Dad's Model planes? Gone. The doors? Gone! There are no doors inside! Why would there be doors? I can't even burn down the house to deal with this! I want to go to bed. I will take my stuff and lock myself in a room. . . . There are no doors inside. I'm going to hold my face and start to groan in for a few.

I'll go to my parent's room and pop up a bedsheet over the closet's doorway. Locking the door I head off to make my bed. I got under my covers, I list the things I do every night.

Brushed my teeth

Clean my room

Turn off the lights

And I can't remember the others.

Hey, this was the worst day I had so far. I hope tomorrow is a better day. Drifting off to sleep

I had the weirdest dream. Mr. Zahhak was a centaur, and his two boys were also centaurs. I was riding on Mr. Zahhak, Horuss gave me a metal flower, and Equius gave me blue gloves. We were Galloping in flowers, till we reached the house then I woke.

My eyeballs didn't want to open, so I Buried my face into the pillow. The best idea to wake up is to roll around right? 1.. 2.. 3.. a huge shud was made.

"Ow... why did I? Oh I just fell out of bed." the brain was turning its gears "A BED?" I looked around and realized this was not the closet Nor the house.

To the door, I opened It to find the Zahhak family having Breakfast. I see Mr. Zahhak wearing a novelty Apron, Equius is trying to eat, And Horuss is pointing out something in the new paper. Horuss sees me, then hides the Paper. " Good Morning, Ms. (L/N)! I hoped you'll wake up later, but I have some great news. Well it's not so great news, but it's news!" he said with such a toothy smile.

"Oh. . . ." I'll be honest this was the last place I wanted to be. No offense to these boys, out of everybody these guys are my favorite. but they do make me uncomfortable.

"Fiddlesticks"

( man it's been a while, happy Weed Day! )