The Cursed One

The Broken Wand

News of the day :
Ron fucking broke his wand.
He's tryna use it after cello taping it.
If the wand even does one charm or curse correctly, I'll listen to Dobby sing, while eating earwax flavoured jelly beans.
And trust me...its worse than death...
Yes. I'm willing to do that.
He looked at Harry and said
"Say it, I'm doomed."
"You're doomed."
I couldn't help but laugh. Hermione was looking at them in a disgusted way. That made me laugh harder.
"Yeah..laugh..you'll never understand because you're not the one who broke your wand!"
Suddenly some kid popped out of nowhere and clicked a camera almost making me go blind because of its flash.
"Hi Harry!" He said. "I'm Collin Creevey! I'm in Gryffindor too!"
"Hi Collin, nice to meet you.." Harry said.
Suddenly Ron's half-dead owl came flying as if it was going to completely die any minute.
I personally think Errol was brought back from the dead..But nobody believes my theory!
It came flying and fell on top of a page of crisps which I was about to eat.
Now I'm not going to.
"Oh no!" Said Ron.
What?
"Look everyone, Weasley's got himself a howler!" Said Seamus.
I looked at the thick read envelope wriggling to be set free in Ron's hands.
Well it did look scary..
I heard the Slytherin table laughing.
Of course Draco was the main participant..
"Go on Ron, I ignored one from my gran once...it was horrible.." Neville said, remembering.
My relationship with Neville is a bit rocky..we haven't even talked once..
But of course he has a good reason for not talking to me...
They say Bellatrix and Rodolphus tortured his parents until they lost their minds...
And it also doesn't help that I look exactly like her..
I have seen him stealing glances at me when he thinks I'm not looking..but I'm pretty sure he hates me...
Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by Mrs Weasley screaming at Ron.
Ah..what a blissful day...
                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We were sitting in the DADA class when a blond wizard came in and Hermione said
"I've been waiting for this...He's finally here..." she said dreamily
Ew.
Please don't tell me she has a crush on this old man...
"Who is he?" I asked trying to hide my disgust.
Ron snorted and said
"He's Glideroy Lockhart, our DADA teacher"
I particularly didn't like his smile.
He had like hundreds of pictures of himself all over the room.
All of them smiling and nodding at whatever the original Lockhart said.
Not creepy at all....
Just as he came, he started talking about his own achievements.
I didn't listen to half of it as I was busy staring at Harry as he was getting cuter every day..
But I did catch "5 times winner of Witch Weekly's most charming smile award"
I do not know what they saw in him.
I guess Witch Weekly readers are 50 or 60 year old thirsty ass woman who had no other things to do.
"Mum's obsessed with him!" Ron said quietly.
I withdraw my last statement.
Mrs Weasley is a nice woman.
He cracked really bad jokes and expected at to laugh at it...
Pathetic...
I snapped back to reality when when a covered cage he had on his table started rattling.
"What's in it?" I whispered to Harry.
"Dunno, he's about to open it" he said.
He made a grand speech about the dangerous thing in it and finally took off the cloth.
Cornish pixies?
Maybe Bandan Banshee was a woman who hadn't bathed for a few months..
And guess what he did..
He fucking opened the cage.
The pixies flew everywhere and started ripping books apart and causing chaos and even hung Neville to a chandelier..
I hit one with the DADA book and got them angry and a lot of them started coming at me.
Harry tried to ward them off but it didn't work.
Since my hair was so fucking curled, they started pulling it.
He said "Peski pixie pesternomie"
Which had his wand thrown out of the window by one of the pixies.
How charming..
My hair was being pulled by pixies and it was hurting so..bad I wanted to avada kedavra its ass.
But I couldn't because that was an unforgivable curse.
Anyways Harry managed to get it off me so it survived.
And guess what! He fucking made us catch them after class.
These are the standards of our DADA teachers these days....
Snape would have been better.